Maybe I'm to blame
Or maybe we're the same.
Either way I can't breathe.
All I have to say is goodbye.
We're better off this way.
-Secondhand Serenade's "Goodbye"
The thoughts fluttering thru Rory's mind as her heart picked up speed and her mouth went dry were anything but virginal. Here she was, in the arms of Chilton's sex god with her core throbbing and feeling intense emotions she thought that she wasn't ready for. The kind that your mother warned you about and was the result of her very existence to this day. Zoning back in on the moment her hands instinctively came to rest on his chest as she pushed her little force on him. This though, caught his attention as his hazy blue eyes shot up to meet her own.
"What's wrong? I know you want to do this." His lips went to latch onto her body but she moved away a couple of inches.
Rory could not do this. Her body was slowing coming down from the high of the moment and a bucket of ice cold water was splashed on her. In the moment things had felt good but right about now, nothing but disappointment and regret resounded in her body.
"Damn private school education." She mumbled under her breath as she moved her body from his own, missing the heat but continuing towards the door that was her safety. Rory Gilmore had principles that no one could talk her out of. Not the sexy, handsome, charming, tall, athletic...oh bloody hell. Even her mind was against her at the moment but her heart was not into this. She did not love Tristan, she loved Dean. Or so she thought because her lips had betrayed her in that situation just like this one. She couldn't tell Dean that she loved him and she couldn't stop her lips from kissing Tristan. Damn this life.
Letting her feet connect with the carpet she put some more distance between them before letting out a shaky breath and turning her eyes to meet with his own.
"I really need to go home Tristan…"
The words were a whisper but from the disappointment etched deeply into his eyes she knew that he had heard. The familiar creak of his bed let her know that he was moving and she decided to head downstairs. Before this wooden staircase had been trouble but now it just felt like her mind. Never ending and strong but had some cracks here and there. Tristan was a crack in her mind, a deep thought that led to a new staircase being built one that she didn't think that she wanted to explore anymore than she had. He would just get with her, take everything that she stood for and go off and tell his buddies. That was always the situation. In real life, movies, books, and even songs; the story never changed.
Pushing some hair out of her face she walked out into the afternoon sun and let it drank in her features. Waiting at the car, by the passenger side door for a few moments the fresh air let her mind be free of thoughts until that permanently dishelved hair made an appearance as she slid into the car. He had opened the door from the inside with the key ring in his hand. This beauty of a car was something she would miss. With the click of the metal door shutting and the car starting simultaneously she knew that she would miss something else as well but chose not to dwell on that. The beauty known as Hartford passed her by and she knew that this town was nothing like Stars Hollow. People were not out and about and living lives that were given or made for them by money. Tristan's family was one of those people with him even one of those people. Sighing she rubbed her face with her hands before breaking the tension that no slow song could smooth over.
"I will never belong in your world. You get that right?" Her fingers had taken on a mind of their own as she ran them against each other trying to soothe her nerves.
Tristan, already lost in his own thoughts, took a look over at the brunette that had caused so many uncomfortable situations for him. All he wanted was a kiss and he thought that this would have been enough. His body was screaming no and he knew that he should have pulled away, that he would have been the one to stop and maybe this would have ended differently. Instead, he was left with the taste of rejection fresh on his tongue and as the words slipped from her mouth to his ear he just needed her to say it again.
"What did you say?" He questioned with doubt in his voice. He truly could not have heard her right.
"I don't fit in your world Tristan. I am my mother's daughter. This….Star's Hollow is home for me." She sighed out as the Welcome to Town sign flashed in their sights.
"Mary don't do that. I don't care okay? Don't you get that?" He didn't want to act like he was this big soft guy but he had to make her see that she was being very stupid right now.
"Whatever Tristan just let me out here please." She sighed, shaking her head and not wanting to hear it. Rory knew the truth. It was something she dealt with quite frequently as her grandmother tried forcing her into society world. A world that not being born into, or being the bastard baby was not comforting in the least. As the car hit the gravel that littered the sidewalk she pushed her door open hoping for a breath from all the stuffiness. With a slam of metal she was free and started to head towards her house.
"Mary, wait!" The yell she heard but she didn't care she needed to get out.
"Leave me alone Tristan! Today was a mistake. The biggest mistake ever. Don't you get that?"
Her chest was heaving as she let the words fall from her mouth and she whipped around to meet his eyes. There wasn't any semblance of the Tristan she just met. Instead there was the cold and assy Tristan with his menacing gaze. His hands flew up as a sign of surrender as he started to back up towards his car slowly. Rory knew that she had gone too far now.
"Your right Mary, too bad I just lost $70 bucks on a bet that I could bed you. I'll tell all the guys you still can get a man hard just by dry humping him to he wants to blow."
Smirking he blew her a kiss and hopped back into his Porsche with the sound of gravel flying into the wind resounding in her ears. Tears stung her eyes before she could even realize where the hurt was coming from. All she wanted was her bed was what she decided as she turned around but no footsteps could be made. There, and for what seemed like longer than a minute standing there was Dean.
"What are you doing here?"
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Tristan wanted to make her hurt. Wanted to make her see that he was just as she thought and the joke was on her. Society was her excuse? Really? Well then she could just screw herself. He was putting himself out there. He was the one showing her how much he wanted her; why couldn't she just sleep with him. Hitting the steering wheel hard with his hands he pulled out his phone and hit speed dial two.
"Hey...yeah what's up love. Yeah, come over and wear that pink thing I like."
Shutting his phone off and tossing it into the vacant seat behind him he turned up his radio and tuned out his mind telling him that this was a bad idea. Screw bad ideas. He needed to get over his infatuation with this Gilmore if it was the last thing he did. It was turning a tad bit pathetic and his image needed none of the sort.
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Rory could really die right now. There he was, with his puppy dog eyes and hair that all she could do was run her hands through looking hurt beyond belief. She had done this. She had hurt him over and over again and now she was hurting him all over. Rory was supposed to be the smart one but she sure as hell could make some stupid decisions.
"This isn't what it looks like."
"Oh so you didn't make him hard."
Cringing at the question she preserved on, hoping to change his mind on the whole subject.
"Things got...got out of hand between Tristan and me, but I regret every moment of it."
"So did you sleep with him?"
"No! God I am not a whore Dean."
"Well your sure acting like one…"
The words had left his mouth before he could even stop himself but he was hurt. Rory and Tristan? She was suppose to be his girl and she wouldn't even go past making out with him. He had a million and one questions but one emotion and that was hurt. His heart was breaking just standing here and having this conversation. He could see the glassy look in her eyes but he pushed back his emotions. He was doing this for him and saving them later.
"Just go home Rory. Seriously I don't even wanna hear it."
With that he turned his back and walked away from the girl that was crumbling to her knees at this very moment. The world was changing greatly in this Gilmore's life and she didn't like it at the least. Her heart was breaking and she didn't even know why and to which boy it went with. Let's just say this was the day that changed her world and everything in it completely.
Home that night had been anything but comforting with sleep coming to her in very rare spurts. Her mom had left her alone, a very unlike Gilmore thing to do but even in her stupor Rory realized something was going on there. Tomorrow she would deal with it but now she just needed to let go of it all and hope that something would turn out right at Chilton tomorrow. Yes, the water main break had been fixed and the one thing that she was good at was coming back to her. Academics is what she decided she would focus on and nothing else. Maybe that would fall into place on it's own she hoped.
-Please read and review. I do not own Gilmore Girls or Secondhand Serenade. Even though both would be sweet and I am so sorry that I took so long to update. Thank you for all of the feedback for everyone and I hope to be updating soon. -crosses fingers-