"This is Hobbes, a ferocious tiger. You cross him, you're dead! MANDIBLES OF DEATH, THAT'S WHAT HE HAS!" yelled Calvin. Proudly, Hobbes slashed the air with his claws, flashing his fangs in a predatory smile. No one even blinked an eyelid. All they saw was the stuffed tiger flop forwards. Pointing, they laughed their heads off. Calvin fumed at this apparent insult to his dignity and leapt at a boy called Jhonny Hazelnuut.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! GET HIM OFF ME! I'M DYIIIIIIING!" Those were the words of Jhonny H., who was being bitten and kicked by Calvin. Mrs. Wormwood saw and ran over, beginning to smack Calvin with an umbrella.

"Mr. Calvin, stop that this instant!" she growled with each whack, lifting the umbrella above her head for a final strike of doom.

Hey, where did she get that? Calvin thought, just before the umbrella hit him in the head, crumpling onto itself and knocking him out. Mrs. Wormwood dragged him roughly to his desk and threw him into his chair. Clanging against the hard red plastic, his head slipped to one side "And stay there!" she yelled, tossing Hobbes on top of him.

"YOW!" To Calvin, foot-long claws had just stuck into him, and he was being crushed by 20 pounds of tiger. As you have probably guessed, he had regained consciousness. fast. Hobbes was not very comfortable either. Would you be if a seemingly insane teacher grabbed you, threw you into the air, and all the while was yelling practically in your ear?

I don't think so. Hobbes wasn't, at least.

After Calvin recovered from being crushed and clawed by Hobbes and managed to sit up, just in time to see Susie skip joyfully to the front of the classroom. She was holding Mr. Bun, who was sitting up and waving. No one noticed. To them, all that showed up was a stuffed bunny dangling from Susie's hand by its paw. The class stared blankly as Susie began a long, boring speech about how Mr. Bun was a nice little bunny who wanted to be everyone's friend and all that sentimental stuff. Calvin yawned and absentmindedly touched one of the scratches on his cheek. "Yow!" he squealed.

Susie glared daggers at him. "I'm talking. You shouldn't interrupt." The last word was viciously spat out like a curse.

Calvin flicked a fresh spitball at her in reply. Agitated, she instantly called out, "MRS. WORMWOOD!" Immediately, their teacher heard and responded to the distress signal. Oh dear-poor Calvin. Once more, he was whacked by the umbrella. Luckily, this time the blow was not so hard, due to the fact that the umbrella was broken, and Calvin remained conscious, though dizzied. Yay for him.

Hobbes glared at Calvin. "You just had to do that, right?"

"So what? It's got nothing to do with you! I'm the one who's getting hurt!" Calvin gestured to the painful bump swelling up on his head to emphasize his point.

"I'm getting hurt too! I don't want to get thrown like that again." Hobbes groaned as he remembered the shock that had coursed through him, causing temporary paralysis...his tail was still tingling.

"What makes you think she will?" the blond asked with a sarcastic roll of his eyes.

"I dunno, but it hurt! Do you want that to happen to me again?"

"Maybe," Calvin replied with a slight grin on his face.

"WHAT!"

Calvin and Hobbes leapt at each other, and their screams and yells filled the room. To the class, Calvin was making all the noise, and Hobbes was simply flopping around in his hand like a piece of dirty laundry in the wind.

"Please ignore Mr. Calvin. Susie, you were saying?" asked Mrs. Wormwood in a surprisingly calm tone of voice. Susie nodded thankfully, and continued on with her flowery speech about the wonderfullness of Mr. Bun.

"Well, Mr. Bun and I are going to dance a happy little dance! And dance and dance..."

After 10 minutes, everyone, including Mrs. Wormwood, had fallen asleep.

"And you can join in! What? Everyone's asleep?" Susie's joy changed to anger, and she furiously whacked Johnny, the closest kid, on the head. "WAKE UP!" she screeched. Johnny woke with a yelp of pain, which subsequently awakened everyone else as well. "And you can join in!" she repeated again, this time in a slightly vicious voice. Everyone stared.

Calvin muttered, "Yeah, like I'd want to."

Susie heard, became incredibly agitated, and threw a ruler from Mrs. Wormwood's desk at him.