"Day was departing, and the darkening air called all earth's creatures to their evening quiet, while I alone was preparing as though for war." -"The Inferno of Dante" by Robert & Pinsky

Ch 1

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(Present)

The Ark's crews were slowly turning in for the night hitting the recharge berths after a long days work. Some were reporting to their night stations for late night shifts to protect their comrades as they slept. Somewhere along midnight you'd find the Autobot second-in-command Prowl making his rounds around the Ark's halls. No one knew exactly why he did it but no one also had never asked for some reason. Many of the Autobot crew though, didn't mind for they knew that they'd sleep in safety.

For the Datsun though, it was for peace of mind knowing that he was doing his own duty in taking steps for keeping his friends, no, his family safe. That's all he needed that would help him rest at night.

'You have to get up now. Think of all the reasons you've fought so long Matrix bearer.'

'Tha-that . . .voice . . .I . . .do I know y-you?'

'That answer will come on a later date. Listen you have a mission, only you can complete something special and of utmost importance. You have to get up!'

'I-I can't . . .mooove . . .i-i-it hurts'

If you'd walk outside and stand just under the Arks overhang which was the aft of the large ship and thrusters you'd notice the ground was still damp from the most recent rain. It was a nice night outside for once in several weeks it had rained earlier today giving the ground and its flora life some well needed relief. The makeshift road that led from the Arks exit you could see still fresh tire tracks leading out an in to the night. Small poodles of muddy water glistened in the moons light in the lines of tracks of all sizes some crossing over the others. Despite the slight chill that was already settling and coming under the night of the moon it hadn't rained for a while. The forecasters said that even with the brief shower it still wasn't enough; the crops weren't going to do well this year.

The thick fog that was visible from the light of the moon was eerie to the two mechs that was stationed at the Ark's front doors watched as it rose off the ground from the afternoon heat of the sun. The gray white fog that swirled and drifted like some unseen animal or a wondering forgotten spirit sent chills down the two 'bot's structural column in their backs. Brawn and Cliffjumper shifted nervously on their feet anxious; exchanging weary glances, remember something they didn't want to. Brawn himself had fought it himself, by himself; Cliffjumper had done something noble and put his very existence on the line for his friends.

At the time it just wasn't a time for selfishness.

'I know it does, trust me, but you have the will, use it! Will yourself to get to your feet, I know you can. Your men are coming, if you don't get up now their effort will be in vain.'

'I—I . . .can—'

'Don't you tell me that Prime! I know your better than this. Get up and face your fears, get up and face this nightmare. Don't give up . . . not now.'

The med-bay was quiet; it always was around this time at night. Placing a data-pad down on a tray that he had set up beside him Ratchet sighed and looked back up over at his patient. On-lining his optics Optimus looked down at the floor that sat below his feet with little interest. With a quick flicker of his optics Optimus looked up at Ratchet as the medic as he finished with what he was doing but turned his gaze back down when Ratchet turned toward him.

"Your doing better." the medic stated flatly, his voice low "What's your opinion on that Optimus?"

That voice had been so firm, so familiar but as it ended it became almost . . . pleading. He knew that it wasn't his conscious talking to him, surely his own conscious didn't sound like a, barely out of his youngling years, mech. That voice . . .it had so much authority held in its rhythms, it was a voice of a respected leader, but no his own, it was just too young.

Where had he heard it before?!

The Autobot leader shrugged acknowledging the ivory medic "Better now if I could only get rid of this war as easily." he muttered

Ratchet chuckled and placed a gentle hand on the Autobot leaders shoulder "Good luck on that."

Picking up the tray he'd been using Ratchet walked off to another section of the med-bay to put the tray and its components away. Optimus got to his feet and rotated his shoulders getting out the stiffness before turning to face the CMO who had his back turned toward him.

For a long moment as if not really sure of what he was going to say or not thinking at all because he already know how he wanted to ask his question Optimus Prime study watched as the medic went around with his business. He watched the back of that white dome with the dark gray crest adoring his helm with softly narrowed blue optics. "How are you doing Ratchet?" he asked flatly almost coldly but Prime didn't think back over his words an how it sounded. He'd known that the ivory medic was just waiting for the question to pop out sooner or later.

As predicted Ratchet stopped in his sorting, red and white hands stopped mid air. Returning to his work he placed the scanner back into its cabinet closed it and locked the door with a finger key before turning back to his commander. Optimus looked into the medics blue . . . sad optics.

Practically throwing her onto his recharge berth in his private chambers Ratchet leaned forward embracing her light blue lips with his. Planting wet passionate kisses on her lips . . .jaw . . .cheek . . .down her slender neck and further down as he followed her curve down to her waist with his hands. She didn't protest. They could feel the others systems over heating as they pressed themselves against the other in their lovemaking but it was more than that.

After all this time not long ago confessing their love for the other. For so long they'd denied it but now, now it was on a no holds. For the young femme CMO in training, Birdie this was rebellion, a risk to everything, their (her sisters) mission, the future but she loved this boxy white CMO. For said CMO, Ratchet, it was putting a tragic spark breaking past behind him . . .finally.

Averting his optics away from his leader Ratchet looked down at his red hands not even trying to hide that sad look on his face or the pain inside him. For the first time in so long Ratchet had something that was his that he could love with truly all his spark but it was . . . gone. Birdie wasn't really gone; she'd promised she'd return in the near future to come back to him and him alone. It wasn't like they had spark-bonded or anything but it still hurt this old medics spark something fierce.

He looked up feeling a strong but gentle hand come down on his right shoulder. How could Optimus Prime be so quiet for being such a big mech he'd wondered that many times in the past. Those sea blue optics were glowing like they always did when the Autobot leader wanted to give comfort. Who would have thought it would be Ratchet?

"It will be alright Ratchet you'll see her again. If there's one thing I can tell truthfully about Birdie is that she keeps her promises with an iron grip."

His voice as easily predicted with strong felled with all that Autobot commander strength when others didn't feel all too strong. Despite that tired looked Optimus had in his optics they always remained encouraging, truthful.

He looked into those sea blue optics for a long moment before finally a faint smile crossed his light gray faceplate. Without fail Optimus Prime could always say something to make an old mech like Ratchet, yes, even Ratchet feel better somehow.

Turning on his heel Ratchet turned to leave, to leave the young CMO in training behind. Why did he feel so guilty so . . .hurt? No it wasn't Birdies fault she had nothing to do with all this internal conflict inside of him. No it wasn't her . . . it was him. He denied to himself greatly that he loved her but if just felt so . . .wrong like he was betraying . . .

"Wait!"

Her small hand took his forearm in a firm grip stopping him. Optics shutting and turning back to face her. She was looking up at him with those light baby blue optics that just captivated him.

"Please Ratchet . . ."

He loved her soft voice when she spook it was the most harmonic thing to him. Her polished slight silver faceplate was beautiful thing, it made him melt inwardly. When she laughed or even smiled it had the same effect. When she worked either helping saving a life or practicing it made him feel with pride.

". . .tell me you can fell something . . .between us. I just want to know but if you don't" letting go of his arm "I'll understand."

Sighing heavily then swallowing something that had lodged itself in his throat "Birdie I . . .do love you but its . . .complicated." voice trailing

A faint smile rose on her blue lips "They say I have to be a patient listener to be your apprentice Ratchet. I'll listen, I'll wait until your ready."

Once again he found himself looking deep into her light blue optics, slowly his lips rose slightly into a faint smile as he back tracked an took a seat beside her once again. She could be so understanding sometimes but what she said was true she was a patient listener; she was his temporary protégé correct.

"Alright" he stated looking across the room that faint smile still on his face as his deep blue optics took a distant look conjuring up old memories.

"It started a few orns before I was suppose to graduate from the medical academy at Iacon when I met her for the first time . . ."

"Thank you Optimus." Glancing back at his counter for a moment before looking back up at him "Your right now that I think about it . . .she did."

He could tell, just by knowing Optimus for as long as he did, that a small smile was behind that mask. "Always did" letting his arm fall back to his side "I'm sure she'll work her hardest just to come back bragging on how she finally achieved CMO."

A small laugh was shared between the two. "Most likely" putting a hand on the back of Primes shoulder "Now enough with the sappiness your going to make me go soft." Stirring the red and blue mech toward the main med-bay doors. "Go get some decent recharge tonight Prime. We don't want a half functioning leader walking around setting a bad example."

Now walking on his own Optimus chuckled lightly heading toward the main doors leaving Ratchet to his last minute straightening for tonight. But right before he was about to make his exit Ratchet called back after him trying to be serious but that half-cocked grin on his face gave him away.

"And don't make me make that an order Prime" he called pointing something that looked like a screwdriver after the leader

"Yes sir" he answered back with a good natured mock

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There was no oddity that the Ark was so quiet at these late nights, no. The halls lights were either half dimmed or completely off making these long quiet halls almost eerie but at the moment Optimus Prime didn't seem to notice. Trailing him loyally was his shadow that was cast from sickening yellow overhead lights. During the day they looked like any overhead lights glowing white and when the Ark was alive during the day you couldn't hear them buzz annoyingly.

Optimus Prime didn't seem to notice that either. He was staring straight ahead or more or less toward the floor in front of him and his basic blue boots walking in front of him. If it was possible to think without thinking at all Optimus Prime might have been doing it.

His processor was miles away his sea blue optics showed how distant he was now. Suddenly he let out an odd sound from his vocal processor that sounded like a . . .whimper. Bringing a blue hand up he placed it over his face, optics shut off.

They had stopped these flashes of being back in what the sisters had called a nightmare turned reality or something of the sort. Flashes of all the things he fought, within himself. Giving his head a shake he continued on to his quarters to get some rest, maybe that was all it was. Like Ratchet had said he hadn't been recharging well many of them hadn't since it all. Crossroads said that he himself had been the first to be determined infected with the Nightmare virus, the first to submit to its will.

The great Autobot leader so easily brought to his knees by his own fears, terrors, and wrongs, just everything. When his men had risked their lives to subject themselves willingly to the Nightmare, Jazz going back a second time, to rescue him. That voice that had talked to him in that dark abyss with the cold floor to get him to stand up, he did. Only to fall off the side of that skyscraper Optimus Prime doubled tacked back at his men, they'd risked their lives for him. He had no doubt that they would have done it even if in the real world or he'd do the same to them but for some reason he went back over all of them again.

Arriving back at his quarters he punched in the access code to unlock his quarters and entered only to lock it behind him. With a heavy sigh that odd feeling leaving his processor he fixed him a glass of mid-grade, quickly finished it headed to his private quarters a few feet away and through another door for some neglected recharge not bothering to dim on the lights.

Taking a seat on the edge of his recharge berth Optimus leaned forward, elbows on his knees face hidden his hands. His hunched over position said nothing but that he looked defeated, that's how he felt. What really had disturbed Prime to this very moment is his thoughts then. The silent chilling whisper into his audios, and that he was listening an even considering what the cold voice was saying. That he was weak, worthless, he didn't deserve what he had in his life. Then like a click of camera lens that cold voice started taunting him about his past, his thoughts when he had woken up here on Earth and remembered his love.

Elita.

She was gone.

Heaving out a deep sigh Optimus leaned back not caring that his faceplate was stained with dried tears. Turing his servos in his neck slightly he looked across his room to the corner. Seating there leaning against the wall barrel pointing down was his cannon. It alone had some how made a legend on its own. It was truly a magnificent piece of craftmechship; for the power it possessed. Snapping off his optics and giving his head a hard shake Prime leaned down on his recharge berth, back toward the cannon before slowly drifting off into a restless slumber.

The whole time the Autobot leaders action didn't go unnoticed by one late niter. Leaning back in his chair arms crossed lightly over his abdomen Teletran narrowed his optics as he watched the obviously distressed leader walk into his quarters out of the Inca gold Chrysler's viewing range. Of course 'Tran could activate the few cameras in Prime's quarters but that was against his personal rules he rarely accessed the office ones. He knew for a fact that the Autobot leader had little time for privacy and even less of it but the cameras were installed for both security and protection over his leader. And it wasn't just for the Decepticons alone.

It went against Teletran's personal un-written rules to invade one's privacy unless other given a reason to.

'Tran knew Optimus Primes history but that was confidential information reserved for the privileged few, he just so happened to be one of them.

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A/N:

Little note, a lot (I guess alot) of this story mentions what's called the Nightmare virus (which is from my own imagination) and how it effected the Transformers I do have it planned in another story I'll be uploading in hopefully the near future the other three femmes' (sisters) also. So don't think there completely random. I hope this chapter fits ratings but I don't think its to much ya know.

This story is kindly dedicated my friend MyBlueOblivion! This ones for you!

Transformers and all related char(s) belong to Has/Tak

Except for the 'sisters', which include Birdie. Teletran's persona is mine, and the plot, are mine

Names and characters are entirely coincidental