There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There're secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Maybe I'm just blind...
Maybe I'm just blind...
Ch 7
000
It held the wisdom of the ages long since past and ones he had yet to see and probably would never. It's realm existed outside normal space and time in a place that he didn't know and probably would never know until his time came. When his hourglass emptied. He had only been inside of it on a few occasions in the past. None of them had been for a good reason from what happened to him in normal time. But he had never deliberately opened it up and stepped through its threshold to go inside.
Though peace was there he wasn't ready for it. He had too much in his time that still needed his skills, the hope he provided, a sense of security that he had never found himself even though he appeared to hold a lot within him. It was a bitter sweet thing but he knew he would have to leave the door open behind him so he could exit later.
Inside was warmth like no other, all pains: gone. Yet though despite the pressure that had been on his chest was lifted. Was it dread that washed over him like someone was holding his head under water? He'd been walking around the base, going through his work in a daze, like a mindless zombie with only instinct guiding them. Perhaps not even that.
The warmth wasn't from the light that made his frame glow it felt more like a parent holding a scared child who needed comforting. It felt like an ancient pair of arms wrapped around him but there was that feeling of a steadfast father or superior looking down on him with a scrutinizing eye. It wasn't like that feeling of 'the bug under the microscope' or a child caught passing notes in class by the teacher but it was a feeling that caused a slight ping of anxiety.
There was no floor, ceiling or walls but he could stand up. Even with the complete light that seemed to have no source he had a shadow under his feet. But not just a single one, but several that pointed out in every direction. It wasn't just a white realm, if he looked closely he could see small nearly transparent floating spheres drifting around of all different sizes and colors. Most were very bright calming colors but every once in a while a gray or even a black one would float by.
Looking around he could see odd fractures here and there like broken glass but there was no wall, they were just there.
"Matrix," he paused listening to his voice drawn out into the distance until it faded out. "I wish to speak with you." He called
In the past when he had spoken to it, what he called only as the; Entity, that resided within the Matrix, it was always extraordinary. Their voices always sounded like it was drawn out but there was no echo. He had always sensed that he had knew who spoke to him but for some reason he never agreed with himself who it probably and most likely was.
"Speak, my vector."
With the few times that he had spoken to the Entity within the Matrix he, she, perhaps even it, had never revealed its face. He presumed it was male because of the voice. The voice was crisp and clean yet still held the aura of respect and commanding that he held in his own voice at time. Time like this when he had to speak to the entity, whether by choice or no, he never felt like the Autobot commander that he was or at least his soldiers, his friends claimed him to be.
"I'm here to ask of you a request."
For some reason he found that he kept his optics down where the floor should have been. It reminded him of the Greek mythological beast called Madam Medusa; one glance into her eyes and you were turned to stone. But he wasn't afraid right now. . .or was he? He didn't know.
For a moment there he wondered if he was going to be given an answer but when the Entity of the Matrix replied, its voice was low and quiet. It was as if it had been studying him for a long period of time and was saying out loud of what he came to a conclusion on.
"Something has shaken the stone platform under your feet Prime." The voice paused as if waiting for him to reply back in some sort of manner and he wouldn't deny that he wanted to but he held himself back. Taking up use of the calm and patience he acquired through the vorns.
"You come here asking of me a request. . ." once again with a pause that was suspenseful and rather torturing as it drew out request as if it left a bitter taste in its mouth. Did it even have a mouth? "Your mind is unstable. . . making your decisions. . .questionable, even to yourself." He could swear he could here the smirk in that voice "Why should I accept a request of someone in your condition?"
He clenched his fists for a moment then let his digits relax realizing that the Entity of the Matrix was correct as it always was. The Matrix never spoke to him within his own time, outside, but when he did pay a visit to the in bows of the Matrix, where ever that was, the ancient relic of the Autobot commanders that had been Prime in the past, it or he, never shut up it seemed. The Entity seemed to sense his discomfort because a chuckle circled around him.
"Why should I accept, let alone consider what ever this request is. . .Optimus Prime?"
The Entity in the Matrix was a monarch. A cold, cruel, being, which could best even the greatest physiologists and/or therapists. It was like a machine that only held icy logic to help make its decisions. At the same time it could be the best source of reason in a tight spot. The Matrix never spoke to him in his own time. He could barely remember the last time it had actually spoken to him last, that was how rare it was.
He could almost, always, sense the presence of the Matrix, or what he presumed was the relic that resided within his chest. He'd always had been able to. It had literally become a part of him in the most sense of the meaning. It was deeply unsettling when he couldn't sense it. There had been times in the past where he'd tried to cry out to the Matrix in the some of the most desperate of times and his only answer had been a gold void.
Not even the faintest of whisper.
Shutting off his optics and taking in air into his vents then slowly letting it out. The slow intake of cold air felt good to his systems. On-lining his optics he looked up to nothing but the small nearly transparent floating spheres.
"I don't know what's happening to me Entity." Optimus Prime began voice louder than it had been since coming here. "I've been walking around my world in a. . .a daze. That's the only way I can explain it." Holding his arms out at his sides in an almost pleading gesture. "With only one prime directive that seems to have been programmed into me by something or someone that I have no reclamation of." Dropping his arms to his sides he bowed his head as if the energy was suddenly drained. "There's something I have to do but. . ."
"I know what you want, Prime." The voice said matterafactly
"Then perhaps you know already what my request is?"
The Entity didn't reply admittedly but he knew that it wasn't because it was pondering on its answer. "I do." It stated flatly
That's when something occurred to him. If the Entity within the Matrix knew about his request could it possibly know more? And if so, how much and could he answer all the unanswered questions he had stored up for so long. Could it answer the question as to who that voice was that he was suppose to know but didn't? Was there indeed another force at work? And most importantly, what was this directive that was driving him. Where did it come from and where did it plan on taking him?
"Why should I waist my energy on this. . .Artificer Project? The powers of the Matrix are vast yet limited. . .why do you think I'll only prompt one soul to handle suck a relic. A Prime. What makes you think that you're even worthy of its powers than any other child of Primus?"
Every word was like a sharp jab into his very persona, he had to close his optics just to keep from flinching. They say that the most painful information is the truth and that it was. The Matrix was the only thing that made him who he was. Its wisdom was vast like its power that was uncharted and always would be. He deserved nothing more than any other soul, he was a Transformer created just like the next. The title of Autobot commanding officer—Prime, was nothing here. He had no right asking the Matrix because the Matrix saw the children of Primus as all one, all-equal. Title, rank, age, it meant nothing.
'It is was a place where all where one and treated as such.'
Bowing at the waist, "Please accept my deepest apologies, I've out stepped my position." Straitening him self, "But I had to ask. You're my last, my only chance. We're stranded on Earth, there was no other option left." He could have hit himself for the whinnying tone in his voice
"So you came to me risking your physical embodiment to ask me of a request that you may just leave empty hand with."
He wasn't sure whether that was actually all the Entity had said. Its voice seemed like it trailed off as if suddenly distracted or had forgotten what else it was going to say. That wasn't possible though, he thought. His decision in the end, was not to ask about it.
"I. . .I just had to ask." He said quietly his voice just above as whisper as he cast his gaze down
There was a long pause after that where the two didn't speak. Prime had no desire to speak as for the Entity, he didn't know or what it could possibly be thinking or considering. But he wanted to know if there any possibly way to convince it to accept his request.
"What is your request Prime?"
Momentarily he could have sworn his systems froze inside of him; his whole body tensing as he tried to let what the Entity had just said sink in. Did he really just hear it right? Snapping his head up optics wide. A chuckling sound made him take a step back suddenly embarrassed as he showed his surprise by mistake.
"Yes I just asked. . .now tell me before I reconsider."
Quickly regaining his poseur and trying to make sure he didn't stumble over his own words so he wouldn't look foolish, he told the Entity his request. When he was finished a suspenseful tension fell upon him and for once the realm actually felt small as the pressure in his chest grew for reasons unknown. What would the Entity's finally answer be? Would it consider his request? Would he not? There was just so many possibilities that could be his answer and it made his processor pound.
And at last he felt the air shift around him signaling that the Entity was fixing to speak. That usually happened after and extended period of time much like the previous.
"I will need more time to ponder on your request my Prime. . .Your medic, Ratchet is it?" it stated "Still needs to do some reformatting to your abdominal structures before your precede, yes?"
Taking a step forward, "But when will I know your answer, how will I know?"
"You'll know, Prime."
Slight panic rushing through his systems, Optimus Prime looked around watching as everything suddenly started turning in a warped mess. He could no longer feel the Entity around him putting pressure on his frame, which was a clear sign that the Entity was about to throw him out of his own Matrix. In truth the Matrix wasn't his at all, he was only the one that held it within his chest to be its forever protector and at its mercy.
Losing his balance as his processors suddenly felt like someone had stabbed it and as his intakes felt like that suddenly had been tossed. The sudden sensation of weightlessness engulfed him. The next thing the Prime knew was that he was awake in his dark quarters staring up at the ceiling as if nothing had happened only that he had just awoke from a recharge.
Seating up he put his hand to his head, vertigo stricken. He really did feel like he was fixing to purge his tanks. The pressure in his processor subsiding slightly Optimus got up and went into his personal wash rack, turned it on, and stepped under the warm liquid as it gushed out. Letting the warm coolant wash over his body as he sat down on the floor of the wash rack.
His chest was throbbing, and his head was spinning which thus was making his intakes fill like he was about to purge them. Optimus leaned his head back optics offline; he didn't know how long he actually sat there letting the warm coolant soothe his acing body until he realized what he had to do now.
000
Jazz sat a few paces away on an empty medical table watching as doc Hatchet went through his commanding officers abdomen. Optimus Prime's grill—that usually sat where his abs were, in human terms anyway, sat on a tray just within the CMO's grapping range.
The gold o'l doctor had been examining Prime's innards for the last half a breem and from the saboteurs understanding; looking for any thing that didn't need to be there. Though the Autobot's were made sure that they got regular check-ups, things did happen despite said check-ups.
The examines weren't made to find microscope irregularities that the medic was looking for now but the examines were made to stop them. The med-bay doors sliding open drawing Jazz out of his thoughts to look over at Wheeljack whom strode in. Walking beside him at his feet was Blair her dark brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and a pair of jeans that looked to big on her.
"Ouch!" Came the sudden outburst
"Well hold still!"
"Ratchet, I'm not mov—OW! Ratchet, that was uncalled for."
Laughing at the trade like the other two Autobot's that weren't getting any of Ratchet torture currently, Blair walked over to where Jazz sat and let him pick her. Now that she was on top of the medical berth beside the third in command Blair took a seat herself, Indian style.
"So, Ratchet" she began "What'cha you doing?"
"Beside your own style or torture." Added Jazz smartly
Narrowing his optics slightly Optimus turned his head slightly so he could look at his third in command. "Can we please reframe from antagonizing the medic, if you will, Jazz? He's the one who had his hands inside of me." Gesturing to his torso and the medic
Jazz just chuckled sheepishly, "Sorry sir."
Snoring Ratchet said nothing going back to his work. Pulling one of his hands out of Optimus torso gripped an instrument that looked like a syringe just more menacing and put his hand back inside said torso making the Prime flinch slightly.
"Anyway to answer your question," Ratchet stated keeping his optics on his work. "Checking for any imperfections and the like before I start with anything else."
"And that 'anything else' would be?" she asked
"Prime's got to carry a spark somehow right?" finally turning his attention away from his work to look over his shoulder at the human
Shrugging, "Guess so. I don't understand how this is necessary though."
Walking up beside the curious human from where ever he had disappeared to recently Wheeljack stated: "Sparks are delicate things, Blair. But a spark that's just been, well, sparked needs to be calibrated—if you will, since we don't have a Vector Sigma here on Earth."
"What Wheeljack's trying to say," interrupted Ratchet "is that this spark Prime's going to pull out of seamlessly 'out of thin air' has to sync with Optimus' since there is no one else. Newly formed sparks are unstable and without a 'guide' they can extinguish. In situations like that, that's what the femme is there for."
"That and it's going to be Prime's creation, after all." added Wheeljack "And since we don't have a femme here, besides Stormer, Optimus here is going to take on that temporary role." Jazz just snickered but stopped when Blair punched him in the arm, not hard enough to hurt herself but to get her message through to the Porsche knock it off.
"I think I get it."
"Luckily for Optimus he'll only have to carry the spark for a little under a week. Any longer could do serious damage. Considering its just not. . .natural for a mech to carry a secondary spark chamber."
Blair didn't need to ask what he meant by that, she already knew the CMO was right, of course. From what she'd learned that was the partial reason why female Transformers were created for to being with. As the tail went when the Transformers had finally become free from a race of being called the Quintessons the Transformers also started to discover themselves in a sense. They discovered that the massive super computer in Cybertron's core wasn't the only thing on Cybertron that could give life. Femme's could also.
Leaning his head forward slightly Optimus looked down at Ratchet with a slight frown on his faceplate though it was conveyed through his optics. "You make this sound like a bad thing Ratchet."
"Well it slagging is, Optimus!" Ratchet barked "In order to put that temporary chamber inside of you is dangerous all its own. Your body itself isn't going to accept it and the software to stop that impulse won't last very long. We'll be lucky if it even last under a week."
"It would help to know if when we are getting this spark you say you can get. How I don't know if I want to know."
Breaking optics contact with the medic Optimus turned to look over at Wheeljack who was now standing on his right. The question was what all of them were wondering and for long they were going to get an answer out of him whether he like it or not. But in truth I didn't know if he was indeed going to get the spark.
"I'm sorry but I can't answer that."
He was almost done but found no reason to tell anyone here needed to know yet. In truth he really wasn't he.
"I believe you can." Ratchet muttered looking at the mech he had his hands in from the corner of his narrowed optics
The med-bay feel silent besides the tinkering the medic what was doing; placing small tools back around taking them off the tray. Wheeljack looked up at Ratchet a concern in his optics as he helped the CMO from the right side of Optimus Prime's side.
"You know the answer Ratchet but I don't know if that 'answer' will work or not."
Haven been seating in the same spot since she arrived Blair frowned not liking being thrown out of the loops so far as she was now. She was in the loop, that was why she was here right now after all and she didn't like it.
"Then what is it?"
Slowly her light brown eyes lock on with his aqua blue optics letting a whole conversation be said between them. Blair stilled, staring back at him not even remembering whether she did ever blink. There was something odd inside those light blue optics and the message they sent to her.
"You should know already Blair."
'Should I. . .?' As if knowing what was going throw her head Optimus answered; "The Matrix."
A chores of 'what's' echoed through the med-bay even though the med-bay didn't echo.
"How do you plan on asking the Matrix for a spark when it never talks to you let alone whispers?"
Letting his head fall back Optimus didn't need to see who had spoken, he could almost sense the scrutinizing look that he was getting from his second. Med-bay door sliding shut for the second time that night the Autobot second in command standing just within the med-bay doors. The other turned to see the Datsun would just arrived except for Ratchet who just scowled a little more.
Prowl stood still like a statue door wings tense on his back his dark blue optics narrowed. How long had he been standing there?. . .how much had he heard. Apparently enough.
"I already did but like always it remained silence as to its answer." Prime paused for a moment as Ratchet did something to his internals that hurt "It said I'd know."
Prowl sighed and walked over to he end if the medical berth that his superior was lying on and frowned down at him. The Datsun had guts perhaps but in truth it was that deep friendship, and trust that this war had brought between the Prime and his second. It was that that allowed Prowl to get away for out stepping his rank and apposing his commander and get away with it.
Optimus Prime valued Prowl not just for his skills and his sense of logic but for his devotion not just to the Autobot cause or the Autobot's in general, but his friendship's. He held his friendship with one, Optimus Prime now, nearly above anything else.
"That was foolish move! Isn't that why I'm here now?" Prowl stated with a edge of bitterness in his voice "To protect you. . .I didn't know I'd have to protect you from your self."
Finally Prime braved and leaned his head up getting a grunt and a scowl from the CMO who was still working on him. "I know what you would have said Prowl, that's why I didn't tell you."
The others who were watching the exchanged sat quietly on the sidelines not daring to say a word to intervene. Prowls doorwings drew back some more till they were almost parallel with the other.
"That's not the point." He snapped back "You left yourself vulnerable and unprotected! What would have happened if something would have happened?"
Prime had long since started to return the scowl. He really didn't want to argue with his second right now, he wasn't up for it physically or mentally. "And nothing did, I'm here now, in one piece, and the world is still intact, is it not?" he hadn't meant to sound so harsh then but what was said was said
"That—" "Oh Prowler lay off, what's done is done leave 't at that."
Dark blue optics met a glassy blue visor with a look that could kill. If there was one thing that Prowl didn't care much for was, being interrupted was one of them. Jazz looked up at the tactician from where he was seating in an almost unconcerned position. His elbow on his knee joint and holding his head up with the palm of his hand. The 'bot was brave to say the least. Blair looked between the two slightly afraid what was might happened.
"Why should I?"
"'Cause fer one ya know trying ta tell Prime somethin' when its processor is dead set on it is poin'less. He can be as stubborn as the Twins sometimes, ya know 'at." Leaning back propping himself up with his arms behind his back on the medical table
Prowl just glared back for a few moments before sighing, defeated.
Jazz would have smirked winning the battle, but didn't. "That an' we're tired no sense arguin' this late. I'm personally not up for it. Ya get me?"
Prowl said nothing as he walked over to one of Ratchet's medical counsels lining the wall in the back and placed what he'd been caring down. As for the medic he just growled at Prime for moving while he was right in the middle of working as he pushed the large mech back down on his back. Wheeljack got a slap on the back of the helm for laughing.
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone.
'When I'm Gone' - Three Doors Down
000
A/N:
Kinda abrupt ending but I was kind running in empty toward the end. Go to 3 Doors Down's official website and watch their video with them on the aircraft carrier, it's really moving.
Well hope you enjoyed it, please leave a review, it would be most appreciated.
And yes this story is kindly detected to MyBlueOblivion, glad your enjoying it bro!
Transformers and all related char(s) belong to Has/Tak and co.
'When I'm Gone' belong respectably to 3 Doors Down
Except for Blair, and the plot, which are mine
Names of/and char(s) are entirely coincidental