Author Note: This is a sequel to Cracks. I suggest reading that before, or at least after Breaking, but you really don't have to. It isn't necessary, just advised.
"He told me that I was breaking. Of course I didn't believe it. Of course I denied even the possibility. No one willingly admits to falling apart...I had to believe I was stronger then that. Only later did I really understand the truth of his words..."
Ryou bit his lip so hard that it ached, and held his breath until he thought his lungs would explode. He pressed his closed fist to his forehead, squeezing until he felt a splinter slide under the skin of his palm. Finally, he let the air his body screamed for enter, and relaxed his hold on the miniature toy he held tightly in his hand.
But then he looked at the toy again, and the tears he'd been trying so hard to keep back were let loose. He leaned against the wall and slid to the ground with a soft thud. He wiped his eyes, but sobs wracked his body.
"This isn't fair…" He whispered shakily. "This isn't fair."
What isn't…? That I've given you everything you asked for?
Ryou ignored it. He always ignored it. He hated it, and was afraid of it. He didn't understand it.
Still shaking, tears flowing, he pulled the small toy close to him and held it tightly. He handled it with the precious care that came with something valuable or fragile, though to the unknowing the toy would seem just the opposite. Of course, they didn't understand. They understood even less then he did, and he understood very little. He did understand that it was its, Bakura's, fault though. Everything was its fault.
My fault? I'll remind you that everything I've done is only because it was what you wanted.
"You're a liar, and I don't believe you." He sniffled quietly, wiping his eyes again. He knew he treaded in dangerous waters. Its temper was short. But it had never physically hurt him, though he suspected there was a first time for everything.
You're ungrateful, Hikari. I'm only keeping my end of our deal. You agreed, remember? In fact, it was your choice, your one desire. You have yet to keep you side of our bargain, of course.
Ryou ignored it again and glanced at the cabinet, which held all his other toys. All his other friends. He knew that if they were at all comprehensive of what went on around them, they'd be counting on him. He didn't know if he could be strong enough to save them though. Bakura said he couldn't.
You can't. They're going to be like that forever, your friends to play with for your whole life. They'll never abandon you like the others.
He sensed when it came out of its home, its dark hide away, and entered the room he was in. The moonlight from the front window, just barely rising, cast a silver rectangle of light on the opposite wall and illuminated half of his pet demon. The other half was completely obscured by the contrasting shadow. He closed his eyes and pretended it wasn't there, and, like a nightmare, it would go away.
"I'm not going away."It said, responding to his thoughts as it sometimes did, forever reminding Ryou that he was not even safely alone in his mind. "Why are you crying, again, my Saghir Nur?" He said, his voice almost totally devoid of emotion. "Why are you showing everyone how weak you are? They'll all lose their faith in you, you know. If they haven't already. Perhaps they all hate you."
"Shut up!" Ryou cried, burying his head. "I am not weak."
The demon smiled coldly. "Are you going to stay in denial forever?"
The boy shivered and squeezed the toy tighter. Almost silently he said, "I'm not in denial. I'm not denying anything."
"But you see, even those few words are proof of your inability to accept." His voice wove between shadow and moonlight, threading its way into Ryou's mind. It was true…Ryou's subconscious told him it was true. But he couldn't let it. He had to be stronger then Bakura.
"Why the letters?" The ethereal form asked suddenly. "Why do you write to someone who will never write back? Is it really because you've accepted her death? And why is it that you visit your past friends every few weeks, and act as if they'll wake up? Is that because you aren't denying that you know where they really are, and that they'll never actually wake up ever again?"
He walked over to an armchair beside the huddled figure and sat down, staring, contemplating, silent. Then said quietly, "You're breaking, Ryou."
Ryou shook his head, and tried to compose himself. "I'm not." He disagreed.
"Is that right?" The demon said, smiling cynically. "Then tell me this. You aren't breaking, and you tell me you have hope and strength…so why is it that you never smile, anymore, Hikari? Where is that 'Angel' smile your father loved to tell you about before he abandoned you, just like everyone else?"
The boy was silent, looking at the wall and refusing to meet the crimson eyes of his demon.
"You can continue to deny forever, Yadonushi. You can fight until your dying day, but I see what's inside of you. And I know that you're breaking, no matter what you say."
Ryou curled in tighter to himself. "Be quiet!" He whispered.
"And someday you are going to shatter completely. You will finally realize that you have no one, and you are nothing, and everything you've lived for was pointless. That is when you will fall back to the only person you have left, the one person you can't escape and the one person that you despise the most. Me."
"I will NOT!" The toy flung through the air, thrown by Ryou whose face was a crushed visage of pain and refute protestation. He stood up, just as Bakura caught the toy without flinching. He held it between two fingers, letting the moonlight shine on the long brown hair and dark blue school uniform of a small doll. Ryou couldn't glare at Bakura, but instead looked out the window as he said, "I have friends who will never abandon me. And I found them myself, without you! And they are real, and they care about me." He took a deep breath. "And for my entire life I will keep fighting, and I'll never look to you for help."
Suddenly Ryou found that Bakura was right beside him, breathing down his neck. He flinched and began to turn away, but Bakura grabbed his arm and held him still. "Would you be willing to stake yourself to that?"
"N-no, that isn't—"
"So you don't have faith in your friends."
Ryou slipped, trying to catch up to the conversation. "No, I do. They would never…"
"Then bet on it."
His brown eyes slipped up to meet Bakura's ruby ones. "Bet what?"
Bakura smiled. "Your claim is that your friends will never abandon you, and that they care." He looked disgusted. "I know that you're breaking, and that they're not going to stick with you forever.
"If you end up being right, however, and they never once do anything to turn on you, then you win. Nothing happens, except you get to keep your bratty friends for as long as they stay with you." Bakura paused. "But when they do decide that it's in their best interest to brush you off… When you finally do shatter…" He squeezed the doll in his fist tighter until a hollow snap sounded and Ryou's eyes widened. "No." He said softly. Bakura opened his fist and dropped the doll, snapped completely in two, to the ground. "You stop denying, and give in."
"I can't give in…" Ryou mumbled, staring in shocked horror at the broken doll at his feet.
"Yes you can. When you shatter, you'll find that you'll turn to me. Because after you've broken completely you'll finally be able to accept that I'm the only one who isn't going to leave you, ever." Bakura said, stepping on the bottom half of the doll until it snapped again. He went to step on the doll's head as well but Ryou fell down and grabbed it, holding it to his chest.
"Stop!" He pleaded.
Bakura held out a hand to Ryou, crouched on the ground at his feet. "Do we have a deal?"
In Ryou's mind he whispered, Come, Hikari. This is just the promise of a breaking soul. You really have nothing to lose.
Ryou looked at the outstretched hand, hoping that his faith in his friends would come through for him. He wanted so badly to prove the demon wrong. Then he grasped Bakura's hand, so much colder then his own, and whispered, "Deal."
Bakura smiled and left Ryou clutching the broken doll, disappearing back into the Ring. Now it was only a matter of time.
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