What Have I Become

by MJSLSBS

After the final battle Harry wonders what has become of him

Title: What Have I Become

Author: Immortal Aussie

Email:

Fandom: Harry Potter

Rating: FRT-13

Summary: After the final battle Harry wonders what has become of him

Warnings: Dark Fic, Angst, character deaths
Challenge: lj user=verve_challenge on Harry Potter

Prompt: what have I become, my sweetest friend?/ everyone I know goes away in the end/ and you could have it all, my empire of dirt/ I will let you down, I will make you hurt - Hurt, Nine Inch Nails

Word Count: 407

Harry stared at the battle field around him. It was a horrible sight. He couldn't believe he had done all of this. Dead bodies were laying everywhere he looked and he had killed the majority of them. As the battle had been approaching its climax he had been seen his surrogate father, Remus Lupin hit with the killing curse and had lost control of his magic. His magic had let out and killed nearly everyone on the battle field, including his allies, Voldemort and the majority of his followers. He knew that he was going to be in so much trouble especially with some of Fudge's cronies surviving the battle.

Harry should have expected though. Everyone he loved or knew went away from him. First his parents were killed, yes it wasn't his fault but he still felt guilty about it. The Dursley's hated him, first year he killed Quirrel when he was being possessed by the stone. In his second year Ginny had nearly died, third year Sirius escaped but was forced into hiding when Pettigrew escaped. Fourth year Cedric was killed just because Harry had told him to take the cup at the same time and in fifth year the biggest one that him was Sirius's death due to a stupid blunder on his part. Now due to Remus being killed he had killed his best friends, his year mates and nearly everyone else he held dear to his heart.

He would have given up anything if he could have his friends and family back with him, for peace in the world. Harry had never wanted to be involved in the war but he was forced to due to the Magical Communities expectations and because of that everyone was dead. Sometimes he wished that Voldemort had targeted Neville instead, not because he thought that Neville might have ended it soon but because he didn't want the weight of it on his shoulders. He had just wanted a peaceful life to be himself but that wasn't possible.

Harry new he would deserve everything that was dished out to him. He let everyone down and made them hurt. Yes he had managed to kill Voldemort once and for all but he had killed all the people on his side too. He deserved Azkaban and nothing less- if it wasn't for him everyone would still be alive. Yes, Harry decided, everyone left me because I let everyone down.