Author's note: i like this one. it's full of entertaining dialog, which is one of my favorite things to write. writing sasori talking is almost as fun as blaise (from harry potter). not quite, but almost.
anyway, hope you like it! this one has lots of deidara in it, which should make you happy.
Disclaimer: i've been reading the character descriptions of wikipedia, and, i have to say, i doubt i would be capable of writing a character like naruto. i suppose it's a good thing that it doesn't belong to me, isn't it?
--kyra

The invitation

"Invite him to the lunch table today."

Sasori stared at Pein, wondering if the other boy had developed a nasty case of 'insane.' They didn't even know Deidara! "What?"

"You heard me. I want to meet him."

"You're in our art class, remember?"

"Outside of class."

Sasori sighed in exasperation. "Why?"

"Because he could be an asset to us."

Sasori planted his hands on his hips, glaring at his friend. "What exactly do you mean by 'asset?'"

Pein shrugged. "Aren't there people you wouldn't mind killing?"

"Well… yes. But we have Itachi and Hidan for that."

"What about things you'd like to burn down?"

Sasori glanced around, making sure no teacher was within hearing distance. "You know, this really isn't the kind of conversation we should be having in school."

"Stop changing the subject."

Sasori sighed. "Look, why don't you ask him?"

"He knows you," Pein pointed out. "You have three classes together, and you both like art."

"So? That doesn't make him my friend, you know."

Pein looked at him, his pierced eyebrow raised cynically.

"It's true!" Sasori protested, uncomfortable.

"Mm-hmm. And how much do you want him to be your friend?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Pein shrugged. "Nothing."

Sasori scowled. "Stop being deliberately obtuse, Pein. Explain what you meant by that statement."

Pein shook his head. "I'll leave you to figure it out for yourself. If you're that dense, then you don't deserve to know."

"Oh, and you expect me to do you favors? I'd think twice if I were you. You do realize that I owe you that last puppet and, at this rate, you'll never get it."

Pein sighed. "Look, never mind about the friends thing, okay? Just invite him to eat with us."

Sasori grimaced. "You will owe me big for this, my friend."

Pein shrugged. "So what else is new? I already owe Konan my soul, what's another couple years of slavery?"

"You owe Konan your soul?"

"Long story. So you'll do it?"

Sasori sighed. "I'll do it. And a couple years of slavery are only the beginning."

Pein waved this away. "Then I'll see you at lunch."

Sasori nodded, heading off to woodshop. After his first talk with the teacher, he'd been moved to the back of the room, where he could do whatever he wanted. Pulling out his iPod, he set it to shuffle and began to work, silently mouthing the words of the song.

Woodshop went quickly, as always. It was quickly becoming one of his favorite classes, mostly because he was completely free from either homework or lectures. So it was with a sigh that he put his tools away and wrapped up his puppets. He was almost done with them. He wondered vaguely what he would do with them when he finished. Maybe he could give them to his grandmother for her birthday. She missed his parents as much as he did, if not more. After all, he hadn't actually known them, just heard stories. Stories were all very well, but it wasn't even close to the real thing.

Shaking his head to clear the thoughts away, he left the room, heading for his locker. He placed his puppets on the shelf and took out his backpack, which he'd taken to stashing in his locker for shop. It wasn't as though he needed it, after all, and it tended to get in his way. But now he needed it, and it was with a slight grin that he picked up his psychology book. He was growing to love psychology, not for the actual material covered, but for the obvious tension between Itachi and Erin. It clearly galled Itachi that the girl knew as much as he did, despite her constant air of lightness and disinterest. It amused Sasori no end to see how she answered all the questions right without once taking her eyes off her notebook. The teacher had even stopped telling her to put the thing away after realizing that she could multitask as well as anyone, if not better.

They were both there when he came in, and, as he took his customary seat next to Itachi, she smiled at him. She'd started talking to him in class – mostly because he was there and it annoyed Itachi – and he was finding that he almost enjoyed her company. She had entertaining things to say, which was more than could be said for most people. Even his own friends, much as he liked them, were notably lacking in the sarcasm and irony departments.

He nodded at her notebook. "How's the story going?"

She shrugged. "All right. I'm putting Zetsu into it."

Sasori raised his eyebrows. "With his permission?"

She grinned. "Of course!"

"Have you actually asked him yet?"

"No. But you know he'll say yes."

Sasori had to agree with her there. It was amazing how much Zetsu had opened up to the girl. With everyone else, he was still the shy, rather taciturn boy he'd always been, but with Erin, he was actually an interesting person with almost as many things to say as her which, when considering how much Erin loved to talk, was a huge accomplishment.

"Most people ask before saying they have permission," Itachi growled, glaring up at her. Her smile widened, and Sasori shook his head slightly. She seemed to have some kind of immunity to Itachi's glare powers. He wondered how she did it.

"Since when am I most people, hmm Andi?"

"Andi?!" Sasori demanded, shocked. Itachi's expression, while not having actually changed seemed to be carved in stone, as though only his will was preventing it from morphing into an expression of furious disgust.

Erin nodded. "Mm-hmm. Short for Android. He didn't tell you that we talked in the library the other day?"

"He did mention it," Sasori admitted.

"Bet he didn't tell you any specifics, did he?"

"Of course not," Itachi snapped, his voice tight.

She grinned. "Figures. Well, just this once, I won't either. I really am a nice person after all!"

"How can you say that with a straight face?"

She laughed. "I'm a good liar. And a good actress. And, anyway, it's true!"

Sasori snorted. He might not know her as well as Zetsu did, but he sincerely doubted that she was what most people would classify as a 'nice' person.

"You don't believe me?" she demanded, turning towards him, an expression of mock hurt plastered over her face. "You wound me!"

"Sure I do," he agreed dryly. "Go back to your story and leave Itachi alone. You'll give him an apoplexy at this rate."

"Oh, anything but that," she agreed, solemn faced. "Breathe, Andi. However would I explain it to your friends if you died from lack of air?"

Itachi only growled incoherently, but he did take a breath. She grinned brightly at them, then turned back to her seat and began writing. Sasori spent the rest of the period watching Itachi as he struggled to pay attention instead of killing Erin. From the way he eyed the textbooks, Sasori guessed that his theory about how Itachi would kill her was correct, and he wondered if he should warn her. In the end, he decided not to. She really did deserve it.

And then it was time for English, and time for Sasori to talk to Deidara. He'd managed to forget about Pein's demand for most of the morning, but seeing the blond boy brought it all back. He grimaced.

"You that happy to see me, yeah?"

Sasori shook his head. "It's not you."

"Oh yeah? So what is it?"

Sasori sighed. "Never mind."

Deidara scowled. "What aren't you telling me?"

"I said, never mind!"

"Fine, be that way." Deidara turned away, sitting down with his back to Sasori and taking out his clay. Sasori sat down as well, and pulled out his sketchpad. He looked at it blankly for a long moment, unable to think of anything to draw. It was that kind of artists block, the kind that made one scream in frustration because they needed to draw and couldn't. He growled softly under his breath and turned back to his previous sketches. He quickly skipped over the one of him and his parents: in his current mood, he didn't need reminders of the grimmer aspects of his life. Instead, he focused on a happier one, one of him and his friends. They were all there, each wearing expressions ranging from carefree laughter (Kisame) to apathy (Itachi) to downright grumpiness (Hidan). He himself stood in the middle, his eyes half-closed, and his mouth turned up in a slight smile. He hated drawing himself, but that one had turned out decently well.

Looking at the drawing seemed to give him inspiration, because he found himself turning back to the blank page, his hands already wrapped around his pencil, drawing lines on the paper before his brain could quite process what was going on. He could only watch with a bemused air as his appendages did their own thing, completely out of his control. When he realized what it was they were drawing, he could have groaned aloud. Did he have to draw Deidara? Couldn't his subconscious have picked someone else?

Apparently not, and, as he drew the blond boy's face in more detail, he found that he didn't mind it all that much. After all, he had been looking for someone to draw, and there was no denying that Deidara presented a challenge. He'd never been good at hair, and Deidara had a lot of it.

"What are you doing, yeah?"

Sasori turned to see Deidara staring at him, a frown on his face. He shrugged. "What does it look like?"

"It looks like you're drawing me."

"Very good. You win."

Deidara scowled. "I know what you're doing. I want to know why, yeah."

"Would you believe me if I told you I didn't know?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. Let us say that I have been taken over by little demons who are making my arms move without my telling them to." Heck, it was almost true. He'd always known his artistic urges were the fault of beings higher up the evolutional scale than he was.

Deidara scowled. "Little demons?"

Sasori nodded.

Deidara laughed, surprising Sasori greatly. "I see your point."

"You get them too?"

"Yeah."

Sasori laughed. "That's good to know. I was starting to think I was the only one."

"I doubt it. Where there are artists, there will be little demons."

Sasori grinned, suddenly much more at ease with what he had to do. Maybe inviting Deidara to eat with them wouldn't be that bad. Then Deidara turned back to his clay and started muttering to himself about blowing it up, and Sasori changed his mind. It would be that bad.

Still, orders were orders, and, much as he hated to admit it, Pein was the leader of the group, and he knew how to cause pain as well as the best of them. Probably better. With a sigh, Sasori turned back to his picture. Orders might be orders, but that didn't mean he had to be happy about them. It also didn't mean he had to do it in person.

He began shading the picture in, wondering as he did so just what he thought he was doing. If he knew people, and he thought that he did, this would seem less a way of following orders, and more a declaration of friendship. Did he really want to be seen as offering his friendship?

Probably he did. After all, if Pein had his way, then Deidara would be eating with them often, and it would pay to make friends. Still, he didn't particularly want to make friends this way.

As usual, his subconscious had other ideas, and, as he finished his shading, he found himself writing a note off to one side. Apparently he didn't get a choice in the matter after all. Still, he exerted some control over his wandering subconscious and made himself fold it up into a small square and put in his pocket. No way was he going to give it to Deidara before he had to.

Class passed far, far too quickly. Normally Sasori, who wasn't a big fan of English class, longed for the time to pass quickly but, now that he had a reason to want it to slow down, it granted his wish and sped by like lightning. Not for the first time, he cursed the irony that was time.

Finally, as they were putting their things away, he reached into his pocket and drew out the folded square that was the picture and invitation. He tossed it at Deidara, who caught it adroitly. Sasori watched as he unfolded it, wondering how the blond would react.

Deidara's one visible eyebrow shot up, and he turned to stare at Sasori. "This is what you were nervous about?" he demanded, brandishing the image. "You just want to invite me to eat lunch with you?"

Sasori scowled. "We don't invite just anyone to eat lunch with us, you know."

Deidara's eyebrow vanished farther into his hairline. "Oh, well in that case, are you sure I'm dressed correctly? Since I seem to have been invited to dine with exclusive company and all."

"Watch it," Sasori warned. "I was instructed to bring you, not to make sure that you were in one piece."

"Instructed?"

"You don't think I'm doing it out of my own free will, do you?"

"I kinda was, yeah."

"Well, I'm not. Sorry if I burst any kind of bubble you have, but I'm not your friend."

"What makes you think I want to be your friend?"

"I hope you don't!"

"I don't!"

"Good!"

"And I won't eat with you, so there!"

"Yes you will."

"I thought you said you weren't my friend."

"I'm not."

"Then, why…"

"I was instructed to, remember? If I don't bring you, Pein'll be pissed, and I'd rather not have to deal with that."

"Pein? You mean the redhead with all the piercing who hates his girlfriend?"

"He doesn't hate her, but yes, that's him."

"He acts like he does."

"Appearances can be deceiving. We're going to be late."

Deidara scowled. "And what if I want to be late, yeah?"

Sasori scowled at him, his hands on his hips in exasperation. "Look, I'm not any happier about this than you are, okay? Let's just get it over with. I might not like you, but there's no point in letting Kisame skewer you or Hidan sacrifice you."

"Sacrifice me?"

"You heard me."

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

"What do you mean by sacrifice?"

Sasori glowered. "Do you do it on purpose?"

"Of course I do, yeah. What do you mean by sacrifice?"

Sasori sighed. "I'll let him explain it to you. Are you coming?"

"I don't have a choice?"

"No."

"Then I'll come."

"Good."

Sasori led the way, bypassing the lunch line. He hadn't regained his appetite for cafeteria food, and, anyway, he and Zetsu would be going to Chipotle after lunch, as was their custom.

"Don't you eat, yeah?"

"No this stuff. You can get some if you want." Sasori pointed at the table. "We're over there."

Deidara nodded and headed towards the lunch line. Sasori proceeded on to the table, sitting down in his usual seat. Pein looked sharply at him.

"He's coming," Sasori replied, before his friend could say anything. "I sent him off to get food."

Zetsu glanced at him in surprise.

"Food for him, not for me," Sasori clarified.

Kisame shook his head. "I don't understand what you have against it," he complained. "It's not that bad!"

"You're not one to talk when it comes to food," Sasori informed him. "You eat anything that doesn't move when you look at it."

"Sometimes he'll eat it even if it does," Zetsu muttered. Sasori laughed.

"Could you boys please refrain from such talk at the table?" Konan asked sharply, glaring at them. "Some of us don't have the liberty of going off campus to eat after this."

"Sorry," Sasori muttered.

"Where is he?" Pein demanded, scanning the crowd. "You said he just went to get food."

"Watch it, or Konan will get jealous."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sasori had to laugh as both of them spoke at the same time. Their tone was exactly the same too.

"You're both smart. Figure it out."

"Do you like having all of your limbs?" Pein asked tartly.

"I must say that I do."

"Then I'd be careful what you say."

Sasori grimaced. "Fine, be that way. Here he comes, by the way."

Pein looked up to see Deidara heading towards them. Sasori waved the blond over, though he didn't leave a seat for him. Deidara glanced around, then settled himself next to Kisame, putting him directly opposite Hidan. The two blonds examined each other warily, then decided to ignore each other. Sasori looked at Pein.

"There he is. I've done my bit. Now it's up to you."

Pein scowled at him, then turned to Deidara. "So, you like fire, don't you?"