Chapter 7
Dave was distracted on the drive home. He played the scene over and over in his mind and it never got any better. He had seen the hurt in her eyes at his accusation. For all her efforts to act as if she cared for no one's approval, she had not been able to hide the way his judgements completely crushed her. It caught her by surprise, his cruel tone, he could see that. It surprised even him, and he could not make any peace with his motives. His feelings were so confused, why had he attacked her so? Was it to distract himself from the feelings he was trying desperatly to deny?
He was engaged. He loved Tess. Maybe it was just a fear of commitment that caused him to have another woman constantly on his mind. Or maybe it was something more? He would not allow himself to think any further. Shut his mind off totally to entertaining any possibility of ... Stevie. Her name sounded so sweet. It made his heart ache just to think her name. But it was not possible. It would not work. She was best friends with his fiancée. And she would never return his feelings anyway. He would be throwing away the promise of a happy life time with Tess. And this afternoon had shown that he and Stevie would be no good for each other. They would only hurt one another. And she somehow seemed to be able to hurt him so deeply. Why should he get closer to her? It would only allow her to hurt him more.
He shook his head. All these thoughts were crazy. It was not like having a life with Stevie was an option. It wasn't something that would be possible, it wasn't something that he should even be thinking about. And yet it was so hard to get her off his mind. He decided in the end that it was guilt that plagued him, not any desire for Stevie. He felt bad for accusing her, for hurting her so obviously. That's why he couldn't stop thinking about her. He was worried for her too. Something was troubling her. All this talk about strange people out to get her. She had been acting odd too. She was afraid of something, he could see that. And he longed to know what it was. Even if it was only something in her mind and not a real threat. But how would she ever confide in him now?
He pulled over to the side of the road and took out his phone, dialling the number at Drovers. He had to make some sort of peace.
Stevie answered, as he somehow knew she would. "Drovers Run."
She sounded distracted, unhappy, tired. This pierced him and it was as if he felt every little bit the same way she did, as if they were one. Without even seeing her eyes he just knew she was feeling like he was, upset at the argument they had, sorry for the hasty words, and longing to make it right. It made him relax that somehow it had affected her in the same way it had him, that he wasnt imagining things or making something out of nothing.
Suddenly he seemed to have no words. He hoped she would just understand that he was sorry. "I..uh...just wanted to ring. To apologise."
"Tess isn't here, I'll tell her you called."
Dave took a deep breath. No, he wanted to say, I called to apologise to you.
He realised in that moment that he was more concerned about his argument with Stevie than with Tess. And that there was something unnatural about that. It should be Tess he was calling for, thinking about. It would be Tess. He just needed to distance himself from Stevie. And he would.
"Right i'll call back later then." He stumbled. He felt pressured to add, as if she could read his mind and he had been caught doing something wrong "Tell her that I love her." And hastily hung up.
That was it, he loved Tess. He was just having a hard time with the idea of marriage, and life long commitment. It was Tess. Tess Tess Tess. He would not let Stevie cross his mind again. Perhaps he would talk to Tess and ask her to find out what was bothering Stevie. That's what best friends were for after all, it was not his business.
It was then that he noticed the girl, hitchhiking on the road side. He recognised her instantly even before he had seen her face. It's not like she was the spitting image of her mother, she was not. But somehow in the smallest ways, she was so very much like Stevie that he knew instantly this was her daughter Rose.