Chapter 12

Dave led Stevie by the hand up the creaky old steps of the veranda into the homestead. Her breathing had become slower and more even, her tears had dried. She seemed calmer and he felt he was getting somewhere. He led her into the kitchen and she sat at the table. He sat opposite her and waited for her to begin.

The silence stretched on and started to weigh heavily on him. Still she wouldn't speak and just kept staring into her lap, her grip on the locket as firm as ever. He watched as she opened her mouth, but nothing came out of it.

She looked to him, so confused, so uncertain. He sensed that he would have to take the lead, but did not know quite how. What was she expecting from him? What did she need him to say to assure her that she could trust him. That whatever the problem was he could help?

He sensed that she wanted to open up to him. But something held her back. As if she didn't know where to begin or how to find the words. He didn't want to rush her. He would just move slowly and be gentle with her. He felt uncomfortable sitting staring at her, and wondered if she would find it easier to talk if he occupied himself with something else. For lack of anything constructive to say or do, he put the kettle on.

She watched him as he stood at the sink, waiting for the water to fill the kettle to the top. He didn't turn to look at her and she tried to use that brief respite from his questioning, concerned gaze to form some words in her mind, words that would make him see just why she had acted like that, just how everything had gotten so messed up. But she found she couldn't, there simply were no words to explain all of that to him. There was no way she could ever make him understand. It made her feel mute and trapped, like a caged animal that could see the world just behind the bars but knew that it would never get out because the key was in someone elses hands and they'd never give it back to her.

She wondered if she had completely lost her mind, if finally he had driven her to the point of insanity. She longed to talk to someone, to anyone. For someone to point things out, make things clear, to make everything seem ok. For someone to tell her she was over reacting, that things would be sorted out. For someone to tell her she was not such a terrible person, for someone to tell her it was ok to do whatever she had to in order to stop him.

And now here was Dave, offering understanding, concern and loyalty. Not putting any pressure on her, just waiting for her to talk while he tried everything in his power to make her feel as comfortable as possible. But how could she confide in him without both endangering him and turning him against her? Because she was sure that telling him would make him turn from her. No matter how she put it in her mind, she always ended up sounding either like a cold-hearted criminal who had no excuse for her actions or like someone who was desperately making up excuses, trying to talk herself out of whatever responsibility she might've held. Either way, it would make him think differently about her. It would shock him. And it would make him realise just how fucked up she really was. And then he'd turn from her and never look back, in spite of all the promises he'd made. He wouldn't understand that it wasn't her fault. How could anyone understand that? They would not. And perhaps it had all been her fault. Perhaps she had made bad choices, perhaps she had been foolish, but it really seemed she had suffered enough.

Gathering up even the tiniest bit of courage from somewhere deep inside, she opened her mouth and took a deep breath just as Dave turned around to look at her, placing a full cup on the shining wooden surface in front of her.

It was then that the kitchen door was suddenly flung open and the small, compact form of the town's very own fortune teller appeared on the threshold.

"Hey guys." She shot a quick glance at Stevie, before her eyes fixed on Dave. "Dave, I'm really glad I found you. You have to come with me, I just hit a cow when I was rounding that corner. You know, suddenly it stood right there in front of me and I couldn't swerve any more. And now the poor animal is suffering and I don't know what to do. I don't even have a gun if it turned out we'd just have to put it out of its misery. Please, Dave, you have to come with me."

Moira looked almost frantic, gesturing with her hands and imploring Dave with her eyes. Stevie looked at them and quickly swallowed the words that had been on her tongue only moments before. It was just not meant to be. She just wasn't meant to have confidants or people who'd stick up for her and try to help her through all that crap that life tended to throw at her. Most probably it was better this way. Dave was better off not knowing anything actually. He'd be safer and she'd be spared the pain of realising that her confession had made him turn from her. Things were just how they were supposed to be. She was alone in this. All alone.

She lowered her gaze again, looking away from Dave and at the locket in her lap instead.

Dave noticed the way her expression fell as she watched Moira enter, the way she closed her mouth again, nothing ever coming out of it. He noticed how that hopeless expression returned to her eyes just before she adverted them. And at that moment he could've strangled Moira. He knew that Stevie had been just about to open up to him and then a cow, a stupid cow for crying out loud, had come in the way of this all important conversation. But still, he was a vet and he couldn't just ignore the fact that an animal was suffering somewhere nearby, even though all he wanted to do right now was to blend everything and everyone out and sit down next to Stevie, to comfort her and reassure her as she told her story. But now that was no longer possible, because Moira had come charging in, breaking the mood and destroying his chance of finding out what was actually going on. Still he couldn't just leave Stevie like that. He hated the way she looked so desolate and alone, staring at the locket clenched in her hands.

"Alright… So tell me Moira, where exactly did you hit the cow, so I can get there quickly."

She gave him the directions and with one last glance at Stevie he moved to walk out of the door, but not before saying

"I won't be long. Why don't you two just wait for me in here, have a cup of tea and when I get back, I can tell you whether it really was as bad as you thought."

He looked at Moira for those parting words, but his thoughts were with Stevie. He really didn't want to leave her alone and this way, at least Moira would be there to keep her company, to distract her so she didn't fall too deep into her dark brooding until he was back.

Moira watched Dave leave and for a moment she just sat there, looking at his retreating backside. "He's so hot", she thought to herself and for a split second she forgot that her actual plan had failed. She had wanted him to come out, to spend some time alone with her. It had only been because of that that she'd gone through all the trouble of dragging the animal out onto the street to hit it with her car. And now she was stuck in here, with Stevie opposite her who hadn't said a word ever since she'd entered and who just kept looking at something in her lap. That really wasn't what she'd gotten that dent in her car for, she decided. And so she got up and made her way out of the house, intent on following Dave. If she set up something like that, she'd be a fool not to take her chance and go after him.