13

Stevie scarcely heard the car door slam, nor the heavy footsteps on the veranda approaching the house. She did not feel the icy gaze from Tess as she stood in the doorway. She did not move. Did not look up. Did not acknowledge the other woman's presence in the room. Stevie remained where she was seated, at the kitchen table. The now cold cup of tea in front of her untouched, but her eyes guarded it closely.

At least she has composed herself from the sobbing mess that Dave had found her in. She now sat still and despondent, drumming her finger tips on the wooden table top, keeping her gaze firmly fixed on the cup of cold tea. She tried to empty her mind of everything. It was the only way to find some sort of peace.

Stevie barely noticed as Dave had left the room moments ago, promising he would be right back. She failed to notice the way Tess stood impatiently in the door way, tapping her foot in time to the rhythm of Stevie's fingers. Stevie sat calmly, her fingers keeping an even rhythm. She felt dead. As if her heart had ceased to beat. Somehow the tapping of her fingers on the table top was the life force that kept her from death. So with deliberate concentration she continued without faltering the steady movement, completely blocking out everything else that threatened to disturb the precious moment of peace she had created.

Finally Tess could stand it no longer.

"How could you be so heartless? Do you have any idea what damage you've done to your daughter?

Stevie blinked in response to the question. And then did her best to block out Tess and her incessant nagging. She returned her gaze to the tea cup, without any interruption to the constant even beat of her finger tips on the table top.

This did not deter Tess from her tirade. She only raised her voice further "How can you be so selfish, so inconsiderate? Do you ever think of anyone but yourself Stevie?"

In frustration and a desperate attempt to gain Stevie's attention, Tess suddenly and forcefully swung her arm across the table, knocking the tea cup to the floor. The porcelain shattered.

At this intrusion to her world, Stevie looked up startled. Her fingers were stilled and silenced. And she felt her heart beating inside her once more. She got to her feet to face Tess, reaching over as she stood to pick up a broken piece of the cup and clenching it in her fist.

It felt good, this anger at Tess. It drew her out from the darkness of her own little world. She had tried to shut the world out, to fade away. But how could she with Tess standing here poking and prodding her deepest wounds. Tess had awoken her fighting instinct.

Tess took a step back away from Stevie.

'She's afraid of me' Stevie thought to herself. 'What does she think I'm gonna do to her?' Stevie laughed at this thought, finding it somehow amusing.

Tess took another step back, disturbed by this odd behaviour.

Stevie felt reality slipping from her grasp, and she clutched tighter to the small fragment of broken china, as if doing so would help keep her grounded in the moment, prevent her from slipping away. She really had tried. She tried so hard to do what was important. To protect Rose, to protect everyone she loved. Even this self righteous cow who stood before her, quivering with fear at what Stevie might do to her. Shaking in her boots, and yet still attacking Stevie.

"Stevie, get a grip! You need to stop behaving like a child…."

Blah blah blah, Tess went on and on but Stevie wasn't listening. 'Go on Tess, keep pushing' She silently encouraged her.

Stevie took a step towards Tess, and Tess backed away instinctively towards the corner of the room. She hit the wall so suddenly, it caused a picture frame to become dislodged and crash to the floor at her feet. The noise startled Tess who jumped in fright, but Stevie remained calm.

"Stevie, please, lets calm down." Tess began.

Stevie was clutching the piece of broken cup in her hand so tightly that it drew blood.
Tess watched in silent horror as the crimson liquid started to drip onto the floor.

Stevie looked into the eyes of her friend, realising that the woman in front of her did not recognise her. Tess was disappointed. And disgusted. Angry and afraid. She did not move from her spot in the corner although Stevie made no move to harm her.

"What are you afraid of Tess? What do you think I'm gonna do to you? What kind of person do you think I am?" Stevie asked.

Tess let her eyes rest on the broken china and the deep cut on Stevie's hand. Stevie followed her gaze and it was like she only now realised that the sharp white edges had broken her skin and were now digging into her flesh. Without any outward sign of caring, she flung the shard to the side and for a moment the sound of china hitting the floor seemed to resonate in the suddenly silent kitchen.

Now that Stevie had dropped the weapon Tess found courage to speak her mind

"I don't know who you are anymore Stevie. Who is this person who could be so cruel to her own daughter when she came to you for help? Are you that selfish? That immature? What kind of mother are you anyway? It's a good thing for Rose that you gave her away if you ask me."

"Whoa, Tess, stop it." There suddenly was a voice from the doorway. "How could you say something like that?"

Dave stepped into the kitchen, looking at his fiancé incredulously. Immediately both women's heads snapped around to look at him and for a second the whole scenery just seemed to freeze. Tess was looking at him defiantly, putting her hands firmly on her hips, a frown starting to form on her front. Stevie only looked at him shortly, before she adverted her eyes, her posture suddenly transforming from taunt muscles and hard eyes to slouched shoulders and a blank expression on her face. He noticed the broken china on the floor and the blood dripping from Stevie's hand. His first instinct was to move over to her and cradle her bleeding palm in his to have a look at it, but Tess' cold stare kept him in place. And he knew that after the next few minutes, there would be no going back for him either, just like there seemed to be no going back for those two women who stood in front of him, each of them calling out to him in a different way.