From the day in the alcove Severus seemed more distant to Carmina. He started going out with his Slytherin acquaintances more, looking for excuses why he couldn't spend as much time with her as before. He became less open with her, too, avoiding touching her at all costs. She did not question him. She knew he wouldn't tell her if he didn't want to and would have told her already if he did want.

After the end of the school year they became even more distant. Carmina was staying at the castle while Severus left the school. They never went to see each other; they just exchanged letters form time to time. Thanks to the occasional mention of his Slytherin 'friends' she knew he was in contact with them, delving deeper into the Dark Arts.

Three years it went like that. Then one evening Dumbledore let Carmina know that Severus was going to teach Potions at the beginning of the school year, acting like a spy for the Light. Voldemort thought Severus was a spy for him, under the pretence of being Dumbledore's 'loyal pawn'.

For the first time she wasn't happy to see him. That year was the worst of her life. She kept seeing him almost every day and talked to him often, but they relationship was tense as ever before. Severus was careful and controlled in her presence; he didn't want her to know his feelings for her and was worried for Lily. He still loved her more than his own family, even though they were no longer friends. Carmina, on the other hand, was tense and unhappy because Halloween of 1981 was getting closer and closer. She knew Severus would know that she knew it was going to happen and still she couldn't do anything. Lily's death was necessary, although cruel for everyone. She wanted to change it so much, so that Severus wouldn't be hurt, that she almost couldn't take seeing him. She hated the waiting.

When the Halloween night came at last, Carmina was sitting in front of the hearth in her room, unhappily huddled on the coach. Lily and James were dead. Harry was at his relatives. Severus was probably gone from Dumbledore's office by now, too. Would he come to see her, or not? Surely he would know.

At half past twelve her fire turned green and Dumbledore came through. His expression was gloomy.

"Severus left your office?" she asked bluntly.

Dumbledore nodded. She sniffed and rubbed her eyes.

"I know—what you had to promise him—that you'll never tell anyone he would protect Harry. He is angry with me, isn't he?"

"He realized you had to know about it right after I gave the promise, Miss Stetson. Lily had been his best friend, the first ever person he truly loved. He isn't taking it well that you left her to die. He doesn't want to talk to you again. Not even see you. I am sorry."

Carmina blankly nodded. She knew it was bound to happen, but that didn't ease her pain.

"Can I go somewhere else? I'll have to know what's going on, to know when to return, but I cannot stay here. I know he won't forgive me that easily, I will be lucky if he forgives me at all. Your brother—does he work in Hogsmeade already?"

Dumbledore stared at her intently. "Yes, he owns the Hog's Head. I can send you there. You can help him in the pub and you will still be close to Hogwarts."

"That would be good. When can I leave?" Carmina smiled sadly.

"Tomorrow morning. I will write a letter for him; you will take it with you."

"I'll go pack."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The following years were a torture for Carmina, thought it was easier in a way that she didn't see Severus again. She got along with Aberforth quite well, on the professional level. He wasn't very happy to have her at first, he grumbled under his breath a lot, but he got over it after a while. He could do with a hard worker and Carmina was working as much and as hard as she could to keep her thoughts at bay. It didn't take him too long to notice and he stopped grumbling and frowning shortly after.

They hardly spoke of anything other than safe and impersonal things they read in the newspapers, so there were no arguments.

Just once there was something like a conflict between them. It was in August of 1996, when the Daily Prophet published an article of naming Severus Snape a Headmaster of Hogwarts. Aberforth pushed the paper towards her when he read it. It was the first time she saw Severus in all those years, although it was only a picture.

"This way they are trying to maintain the impression that ministry isn't run by the Death-Eaters," he stated dryly. "Everybody with an ounce of common sense knows that an ugly piece like this cannot become a Headmaster legally. What! This Snape was almost imprisoned once for being a Death-Eater, and let's say that I never saw a Death-Eater who would stop being what he was. This one is just the same as the other You-Know-Who's lackeys."

"Shut up!" Carmina snapped suddenly. "Severus Snape is more than you think he is!"

A silence fell upon the table. It never happened in all the sixteen years she was there that Carmina would snap or glare at Aberforth Dumbledore. He was shocked, he didn't know what to make of it.

"Well," he stood from the table, confused. "I think it's about time to open the pub. Clear from the table, OK?" he left the room to go to the public part of the inn.

Carmina looked at the picture in the paper and swallowed with some difficulty.

"A few more months left, Severus. Oh, God, let it happen!"

She started clearing up the table.

Carmina and Aberforth pretended that nothing happened that morning, but Severus Snape was not mentioned again.

Carmina had twenty years to come up with a plan how to save him. She knew very well that it could not look different than the books´ events. Voldemort, Harry, and anyone else couldn't know that Severus was alive. That meant that Severus had to die in the Shrieking Shack—seemingly—and to hide for the following nineteen years if he survived.

She didn't speak to him for sixteen years, didn't meet him or write him. She knew he was still angry with her because of Lily and she knew there was no easy way for him to forgive her. He had never stopped caring for her and still saw her as his friend. Moreover, he had known her for years while Carmina showed up only in his seventh year and didn't even tell him the truth about herself. She could only hope he would understand and stop blaming her when she finally told him everything or that he would stop hating her at least.

She often had nightmares of not being able to save him. Her bones were freezing when she thought of it. Thanks to that Black's blasted potion she knew she would be a hopeless broken wreck for the rest of her life if that happened.

Other nightmares tormented her with an illusion that she did save him, but he never forgave her and she spent her life in pain, meeting him in the streets with his wife and children. That was not a bit better.

Last year, when Dumbledore died, she found out he left her a certain amount of money from his vault in Gringotts. It could have been some kind of a charity act because he knew she had just a small salary from her invisible job at the Hog's Head (she wasn't working as a waitress, she didn't want to risk Severus seeing her there) and nothing else.

She had spent a part of that money on a small house she bought. It was in one of the side alleys of Hogsmeade. No one knew she bought it, not even Aberforth. She lived in the pub, she intended to move to the house when the war ended.

A/N Reviews are appreciated! Two chapters left.