Disclamier: I do not own twilight, however I wish I did because then I'd own Jasper and that would make me a very happy Sophie.

The Cullen's Family Getaway

JPOV:

Dear Jerry, (A/N Jerry is Jasper's diary...he liked the name muchly)

Well we've just arrived on our 'Cullen Family holiday'; I'm finding it hard to understand how a tent in some woods in the middle of nowhere could possibly be called a holiday, we could of all stayed at home and set a tent up in the woods near our house at least that way I could mope in my bedroom if I needed to.

Anyway what you missed was the car journey, lucky for you eh? But don't think you're not hearing about it, because I need to share my issues! Why should you not be inflicted with this? Anyways, the car journey here was absolutely awful (one major reason is that she made us all sit in a car instead of running and another is emotions...small space... me that spells trouble right?), so anyway Esme turns up outside the house in this whale of a car, we all laughed hoping she was joking about this being our ride, she weren't by the way she'd actually gone and hired a Renault Grand Scenic to create a proper human family holiday feel, I personally think she's making this up as she goes along but she scares me so I daren't tell her this, anyhoo, so she forces us all into this...thing, even Carlisle was complaining about the holiday and he's always game for anything, (honestly anything he loved the idea of Emmett's and my self's game of pass the Bella, it would of continued until Edward came home and threatened us with telling our wives about the time we went to a bar dressed in their clothes –shudder- ) We set off to wherever we are and I was thinking my life couldn't be any worse, I mean I'd been through a war, then I was turned into a vampire, then I trained an army of newborn and slightly stupid vampires how to fight got bitten several times by said stupid vampires, and now I'm stuck on a holiday (I use that word lightly) with my vampiric nut job family, that's pretty bad right? I thought so too until she made us SING things were worse, she made us sing her favourite LOVE songs (thanks for that suggestion by the way eddy –eye roll-) and I pretended to be enthusiastic and sort of mumbled along, Alice pretended to be in a vision for a whole hour and a half which is entirely unlikely, Edward of course sang but with no glee and he kept changing the words to fit in with him and Bella, for example:

I don't wanna close my eyes
I can't fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, Bella
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I think of you
The sweetest thought will never do
I'd still miss you, Bella
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Rosalie out right refused which got her thrown out of the car so I refused to sing to get out of this mad hole and Esme just made me sing loudly and with more enthusiasm (like I said before, Esme scares me so I didn't need much persuasion) and then there was Emmett, who sang at the top of his voice out of tune, flatly and completely the wrong words, he loved it, I could feel the happiness radiating from him, which annoyed me entirely as I am the Jasper Whitlock Hale, I don't get excited about singing yet, I couldn't help myself, but what annoyed me most about him is the constant jazz hands in which he exclaimed 'Jazz! Look JAZZ HANDS –child like giggle-' every 2 minutes. So yeah, that was the journey here; I'm currently in a tree snuggling Mr. Snobbin's hiding from Esme who is trying to enforce us to sing camp fire songs.

Talk later, that's if I don't find a way to kill myself beforehand...

Love Jazzy xoxo