Disclaimer: I do not own twilight sadly for me

Dear Jerry,

I'm changing your name to Delilah. Jerry's a sucky name.

Dear Delilah,

Hehe sounds better doesn't it? Anyways, I'm going to give you a makeover you're going to look beautiful!!!! You're going to be almost as beautiful as me, but not quite. What's that Delilah? You think I'm beautiful...Owh thank you! So, let's have a girly chat, this is going to be so fun! Who do you thinks hawt?...Jasper? WHAT?! BITCH! –Rips pages out and eats them-

Dear Anna,

You know that Delilah bitch, yeah her, she has the hots for my man. My Jasper, its bad enough I'm constantly trying to fight for his affection from Emmett. That's a struggle...as I do think Jazz has the hots for Emmett too, aww they'd have the most beautifullest babies! I'm not that bothered at all Anna, I know I should care but Jazz lets me dress him up and curl his hair and everything what more could you want in a husband? Yeah, I know you're wondering why I'm bothered about Delilah liking him, well it's because she might curl his hair and dress him up and make him look beautiful like I do, obviously not half as pretty as I make him, but that isn't the point I'm making. -3 minutes of silence and some tumbleweed goes by while Alice sits looking blank- I've just got a vision! Why on earth is Jasper naked? And why is there a man dressed in hideous clothes watching Emmett and a nude Jazz fight?! Well I hope they're fighting –shudder- I'm going to have to get hold of that man, his dress sense is absolutely terrible! He's wearing a red and blue waterproof coat, helloooo major clash! Beige –gag- trousers and these....shoes if you call them shoes, whoever designed them must have some sort of eyesight issues, they're green need I say more? Uh oh Jazzy's coming back from stealing Rosalie's mirrors gotta dash!

Mwah Alice xxx

P.S I'll tell you more secrets about Jazzy later teehee, I've got many.

Dear Je....

Jerry...why are you pink? Why are you called Anna!? .....ALICE......-growl- OMG Mr. Snobbin's you're wearing a dress! We're meant to be MEN strong handsome war buddies! Guys against the world and not you're in a dress! That is it! I refuse to play dress up with Alice she can't decide what I wear if I wear nothing! –strips- oh my...I look good nude. –stares for a while- anyways, I'm going to play with Emmett she hates it when I pay attention to Emmett.

I'll talk to you later Anna...Jerry..Your names Jerry –sigh- I hate women.

Love Jasper the nudist. xoxo

A/N Thanks for all the great reviews so far! This chapters been made with the help of some people suggestions. If you want to see anything in the next chapter, tell me and i'll try and squeeze it in. Hope you liked this Chapter. MERRY CHRISTMAS :D