Drabble 3 – Numb
Numb. That's how I feel at first….I wonder how everyone else deals with feeling…nothing. I can't stand it and thankfully it doesn't last long…because not feeling anything quickly turns to fear and then to sadness.
Sad. When I feel sad…my eyes being to prick with tears and shivered run down my whole body even though I'm hiding in my blankets. The shivers start in my legs and work their way up…and then my tears start to fall. My nose becomes stuffy and my throat is dry. I bite my lips to keep myself quite.
I'm not a quiet crier so I hide my face further in my pillows and blankets because once I start crying it's so hard for me to stop. Soon my head begins to pound and my eyes ache…and I start to feel angry at myself for crying.
And of course, that only makes things worse. I twist my hands in my sheets, clenching them tightly as my angry sobs are muffled by my pillow.
How long it lasts always varies…but when it's all over I sort of…feel smug….
After all that, I know I'm right.
I've felt all that, it's not just me making things up.
I've got a heart…..
Or so I'll keep telling myself.