Chapter 3: The contract
Allen barged into the room. "What? Too high and mighty to walk down the corridor yourself?"
"Don't talk me to like that. I might just raise your room rates." Kanda raised an appraising eyebrow.
"What room rates?"
"You didn't think I would let you stay for free, did you?"
Allen froze in shock and horror. "What? You mean I'm supposed to pay?!!" He tugged at his hair in frustration and despair. "This would just make me sink deeper into debt! Bloody hell!"
Kanda chuckled darkly "For your information, each day you stay costs you…let's see…including the Japan imported seaweed aloe vera shampoo…100mbps internet access 24/7…Pure Indian goosefeathers…that would be a grand total of five thousand dollars."
Allen jumped back three steps, smashing a priceless ming vase with a picture of a bamboo on it. It shattered into a million irreparable pieces. He stared at the pieces of porcelain on the floor, starting to hyperventilate. "Did I just break that? Oh my God, I didn't just break it, did I? Did I? I didn't break that right?"
Kanda raised another eyebrow. "Yes, you did. And that just added fifteen thousand bucks to the overall bill."
Desperately, Allen looked around the room for ideas. His gaze landed on the gardener outside the window in the garden, watering the immaculately kept rosebushes.
His eyes lit with a last shred o f hope. He fell onto his knees before Kanda.
"Almighty Kanda, I beseech thy grace," he proclaimed. "Let thou fire all thoudst lowly servants, and leave me to face, the Herculean task of doing all the chores, polishing thoudst house, like a newly minted penny, fair shall it be."
"Do I look like Shakespeare to you?" Kanda fought back his too-strong urge to laugh. "I would have understood it perfectly in English and seventy five dialects of Japanese, including Hawadoku-jap, Bakanda-jap, Imadado-jap, thank you very much." (at this point of time, the writers would like to point out that they did take third language Japanese classes, albeit failing them terribly.)
"Can you please fire your servants and let me work for you?"
There was an evil glint in Kanda's eyes. "Sure, why not?"
Standing up, he led Allen into the main hall, where he unsheathed a gleaming sword, narrowly missing Allen's face.
A loud gong reverberated through the mansion. Allen stared in wide-eyed horror at the gong two inches beside his head, as if it would bite, thanking God that Kanda had a good aim.
In a flash, two neat lines of servants dress in crisp uniforms appeared in front of them. "From this moment onwards, all of you are fired," Kanda announced.
"Yes, lord Kanda," All the servants chorused. In an instant all the servants dispersed, leaving Allen to wonder with wide-eyed wonder at their mindless obedience. He sent a quick prayer to God. Please, God, don't make me become one of those mindless robots after I start to work. Amen.
"In my house, you don't pray to God. You pray to Kami-sama."
"Yes, Lord Kanda!" Allen saluted, snapping smartly into attention.
Oh no, not me too!
A/N
HaydenHays
Camden Cams
Hays: Camden insisted on the (as)s behind my stupid name.
Cams: -laughing like crazy-
Hays: She's unfortunately getting high…
Cams: Because (as)s sounds nice! I like putting (as)ses behind people's names.
Hays:…
Cams: Let's blow their socks off with our story!
Hays: I thought it's pants? As in, blow their pants off?
Cams: Socks are more tight fitting!
Hays: Why not underpants? They're even more tight fitting.
Cams: Let's blow their socks, pants, and underpants off! And shoes too!
Hays: Okay why don't we just blow them naked?
Cams: Okay! Let's change the rating to M: for nudity of readers! –laughs at her own joke while Hays shudders-
Hays: This conversation is even longer than the story!
Cams: No it's not!
Hays: It's going to be.
Cams:-falls into another weird fit of laughter for no apparent reason-
Hays: Shut up Camden, stop laughing like a retard.
BOTH: Enjoy! (okay this is abrupt)
Hays: And hold on to your pants!
Cams: -winks-
The end! Sorry for making this another too-short stories ): we promise to write more soon!