S c a r e d o f S i l e n c e
I wanna say that I had some inspiration in writing this chapter. And it was created by reading a breathtaking review from CarbonBlack. She's simply amazing and I love that she's impressed (I think) by this story so far! Thank you so much!
--
Axel woke the next morning with a huge headache. Most likely from his recent fit. But as Axel wondered why his head hurt, he also wondered why his heart contradicted and felt so…warm? Fuzzy? He couldn't tell, but it was definitely a comforting feeling. And the redhead smiled up at the ceiling that he knew was watching him and stood up to face the day.
As he was dressing, though, the front door was knocked on and he went off to answer it in just his boxers. He looked through the peephole and saw Sora, Riku, Demyx, Zexion, and…Roxas. So he immediately opened the door.
"Morning, everyone. Why are we all so early?"
"Oh, we wanted to know if you wanted to go eat breakfast somewhere." Demyx smiled. "But you're obviously busy I can see." Then they all started laughing, even Axel. But as soon as Axel stopped lightly chuckling, he heard Roxas giggle cutely. And the redhead felt his cheeks flush, smile widen, and heart swell. God, he had to have some sort of crush on the blonde. Even if it was puppy-love or something like that.
"I'll be right out, fully dressed, in a second. All right?"
And everyone nodded besides Roxas, who was staring and blushing lightly, his beautiful eyes wide and innocent looking. Axel noted this, and grinned wider as he walked into his bedroom again. When he came back minutes later, everyone had made themselves comfortable.
"Well, where are we going?"
"We haven't decided yet, sit with us and we'll figure it out." said Sora.
"Alright."
"So what do you feel like having?" Riku started to no one in particular.
"Breakfast, if you don't mind." Roxas said back in a sarcastic manner.
Axel had to laugh at that one, Riku really deserved it. And he was a bit surprised that the blonde had given it to him though, he thought Sora would have sooner or later. And that burst of sarcasm didn't look like it could possibly come from Roxas' big, pink lips. But that mouth did look like it could make other noises. Axel shook his head at that thought; poor Roxas, the redhead didn't mean to fall obsessively in love with him. He just is too charming to resist.
"I think we should just have a good breakfast here you guys!" Demyx said.
"Yeah! That would be REALLY fun!" Sora and Demyx joined hands and began jumping around in a merry manner. And everyone began to laugh happily.
Even Axel.
--
So, Axel's house was in gear; or at least everyone inside was. Sora and Riku were starting to cook up eggs, while Demyx and Zexion (under Demyx's orders) were next to Sora and Riku cooking some bacon. And Axel and Roxas were making toast and crepes.
And even though their efforts were high, and their appetite pretty much gone because of how… burnt everything turned out; they all still had the best and brightest smiles on their faces. And stomached the food.
"I can't believe we ate all that gross stuff." Sora giggled, leaning on Riku's shoulder.
"I can't believe you wanted seconds, Sora." Zexion added.
"It doesn't matter that we made vomit on a plates, it's the fact we did that with our friends and had a good time. I think that's why Sora wanted seconds. So we could make more and have more fun!" Roxas beamed from the couch, sitting next to Axel, who was smiling down at the boy; he was mesmerized by the look of utter happiness on the blonde's face. And he wanted to see that look all the time.
"I'll be right back." And with that, Axel went into his room to write something down.
But this time, Axel felt like he was more writing that of a distant love song.
--
"I watch you from what seems like a million miles away. And I know that my relationship with you is imaginary. But I feel you comin' just a little bit closer.
Uh-huh.
And I wonder how lucky does this guy think he is? 'Cause he's got what he wants, piled on everything that he needs.
And I've got my paper, my pen, and my heart. But the thing I'm missing most, and needing most; is you. But I'm glad that you're in love.
With me or not doesn't matter that much. Because as long as you're happy makin' him happy then baby, I'll be happy. Well, as happy as a lonely man can get. So when he's not happy, I'll try to help you be happy. Even if it's just in a friendly way to you. Because all I want to do is baby, feel you feelin' happy. As a lonely angel can get.
I won't make you happy. I can't make you happy. But I wanna make you happy. Just over-joyed and sappy. And it makes me angry how angry he is when I'm around you. And baby I'm missin' givin' you a little kissin'. 'Cause you need it now or you'll never need it again.
I know this song is gettin' under your skin and into your heart. I can see it in those eyes. The gorgeous baby blues that make it all you. That makes me sing nothing new.
Because all I want to do is baby, feel you feelin' happy. You don't have to make him happy.
--
And Axel smiled at the wasted paper miserably before folding it a little, and tossing it into the nearby garbage can. He would never try that again. It was much too corny.
Axel then made a promise to himself. He would observe Roxas whenever he got the chance, and find out every little detail about him until he popped open with knowledge of the boy. From all of his dirty little secrets to little nervous movements. He wanted to know it all. And eventually, he would. And he would write all about it.
--
He rejoined his friends in his living room and asked what they wanted to do next. Zexion and Demyx had to leave because they had something planned. A date or something. And Riku and Sora left so Axel could have some "privacy"… those two were trying way too hard to get Axel to like Roxas. But the redhead's heart and mind beat them to that. He just didn't know when the blonde would fall in love with him.
Now, since everyone but Axel and Roxas were gone, Axel started staring at him. Keeping his own promise of observing the boy. Roxas quickly noticed through his keen blue orbs and blushed. Axel noted then that Roxas got nervous very easily.
Axel scooted closer to Roxas, looking deeper into those eyes. The window to the blonde's mind, and waited. He waited for some spark, a trigger, something new he could notice.
"A-Axel? What are you doing?" The blushing blonde spoke
"Nothing, don't worry, I'm not going to do anything bad, okay?"
"What!?"
"I said don't worry. I mean what I said."
"Alright. Just don't do anything you'll regret."
"What does that mean?"
"You're the writer, you should know."
"Heh."
And that was the last thing that was said between the two for a while. Axel just kept on staring at the blonde, making small mental notes about him. He already saw so many things about the blonde, so many little things that no one would take the time to look for. Except Axel.
He found that the blonde bit his tongue when he was thinking, instead of biting his lips. And that he looked absolutely innocent when trying to paint and get the image out of his head on the canvas. Yes, Axel eventually went over to Roxas' house to help him decide what and how to paint Hayner and Olette's painting.
And the final thing he noticed for the afternoon was that, sure, Roxas was pretty awake, but; when he was sleeping, he looked gorgeous. Especially when he sighed softly for no reason. Axel smiled down at the blonde that was now napping. He just wanted to reach out and touch him, hold him close, and treat him like he was the most precious thing on earth. To Axel, that's what he was.
The blonde woke up later; he didn't know when he had fallen asleep, and how long he had been asleep. But he was startled when he saw two beautiful green eyes staring at him gently. He then regained his breath when he saw it was Axel.
"You really scared me you know." Roxas whispered.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. I think you're really interesting to watch."
"Uhm… okay. Do you think we should go back to your house to make dinner for our friends? Sora and Riku said they would be back later."
"Why? Wouldn't you want to just have a quiet dinner between two intelligent people? I would. So… what do you say, Roxas?"
"I…uhm… What? What are you asking exactly?"
"I'm technically asking you on a 'date'."
"Oh… just you and I? But wouldn't that be a little awkward because we're both men?"
"Is that a problem for you?"
"N-No, I don't mind at all because Sora is… that way too; But I dunno, I just feel weird around you is all."
"Is that a good weird, or bad?"
"Can it be both?"
--
So Axel and Roxas were on a private 'date' that night. Just the two of them, no one else. All alone at Axel's house. And Roxas was nervous, like he said. And Axel was sitting and staring. He was nervous and excited about this all at the same time.
But then… he felt a strange feeling overtake him. Like a very bad feeling. One that he was familiar with. One that would destroy his decaying insides. One that he feared. And then a word danced into his clouding head.
Silence.
And he crashed into the floor, forgetting everything around him and body moving while he watched from his subconscious mind. Roxas immediately jumped up, worried about Axel. And in his state of shock, horror, and desperation, Roxas gently lay Axel on the floor and held his shoulders trying to keep him still. Then, he began doing what he did last time, just whispering hopeful things into his ear. Desperately trying to get the redhead to hear him.
But all that ran through Axel's pulsing mind was, "Make noise, make noise, make noise…"
And he would do anything to make that wish come true.
And then the blonde noticed that he wasn't calming down this time. His body was trying to thrash around even harder so it could break something or create a racket; than when he began. Roxas was scared and didn't know what to do. He leaned down and hugged Axel tightly, but it was still gentle, and started crying. He felt Axel's body heaving with every struggled breath he took.
"What's going to happen to Axel if this goes on?"
Roxas sobbed as Axel began trying to speak, little by little. "R…Rox…Roxas…"
"Axel?" Roxas was almost speechless.
And Axel was trying to force this fit to be done with on the inside, so far he was winning. He wouldn't let anything hurt Roxas. Not even himself. So he was fighting.
Roxas just held onto him for dear life. He felt the slight panic breaking down and was calming his own mind as Axel's breathing was starting to even out. Axel opened and closed his eyes a few times before holding onto Roxas carefully.
"Axel! Are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah. I am now." He whispered letting himself smile at how much Roxas cared.
"Thank goodness. Uhm, do you feel alright?"
"I already said I was fine, Roxas."
Worry and somewhat of a hurt tone stung the blonde's voice. "Oh yeah, I'm sorry."
Axel smiled at the blonde, and then tried to help him up. He accepted it quietly and stood with the redhead.
"Axel? Would you want to show me how to write?"
Axel was a bit perplexed by the question, but said, "I don't think I can show you how to write, but it's possible to teach you some basics."
"Alright, that sounds fun."
--
And they both were writing non-stop. Axel of course, was more skillful to say the least. And the redhead couldn't wait to see what Roxas had written. Even if it turned out good or bad, Axel would still treasure it.
Roxas finished his writing with a happy, but childish smile on his face. He picked up his paper, and beautiful blue orbs scanned for any mistakes and one last read through, before he handed it to Axel.
"I hope you like it!"
Axel smiled brightly; he knew he would. "Of course." He said.
Axel began reading what the blonde wrote:
"I want you to know
That wherever you go
I'll always be there
With my worried stare
To follow you through
The deep water blue
Because I love you."
And Axel was amazed. It was wonderful for the blonde's first try at writing poetry. He muttered a quick "Good job, Roxas." Before handing it back to the blonde and sitting in a loving daze.
"Have you written anything yet, Axel?"
"Well, I haven't finished it yet, but yes, I have some little sayings and stuff on my paper."
"Can I read some?"
"It wouldn't hurt, so yeah, go ahead."
And so Roxas took the paper carefully and scanned through it with his eyes.
"Radiance is bliss; can I please have one kiss?" Cute. And Roxas giggled.
"You're so amazing; I can go star-gazing, in those blazing, wonderfully hazing, blue eyes." Sweet. Roxas liked that one a lot.
Roxas handed the paper back to Axel; he thought that if he read any more of them, he would get a toothache because they were all so sweet. But he really did like them.
"They're all really cute!" Roxas smiled at Axel, he didn't know why he was in an incredibly happy mood though.
"I'm glad you like them. I really liked your poem too. It was simply amazing and I was kinda shocked."
--
Roxas went back home from Axel's place and sighed as he sat down on the sofa in the living room. And he was content and his heart felt filled. He just didn't know why.
Sora was in the kitchen preparing his dinner when he walked silently over to Roxas with cat like movements, noticing the blonde was in a day-dream trance. The brunette was beginning to believe that the blonde was falling for Axel, and he was getting really excited.
"So, did you have fun at Axel's house, Roxas?"
The petite blonde jumped a bit, startled, and shakily replied, "Yeah, I had so much f-fun!"
"Aww, that's cute. What did you do?"
"Well, first we kinda ate some dinner, and then we wrote a little. Oh, but before all that we were painting over here for a while and talked for a bit. I had the funnest day today!"
"Oh really? It sure looks and sounds like you did!" Sora giggled, Roxas sounded like he was five years old again; running his mouth about Axel. But Sora was glad that Roxas may be starting to fall in love with the redhead. Even if it was just a little bit at a time.
"Sora, I'm gonna go to Demyx and Zexion's house to talk, okay?"
"Uhm… Sure? Be back soon though, it's already getting kinda dark."
"Okay, later."
And the blonde drove to Zexion and Demyx's house. And while he was on his way there, he did some thinking.
"Why did I have so much fun with Axel on our date-thing today? And how could I have had fun? He had a panic-attack again… Why?"
He had to know. And he thought that only Zexion and Demyx could help him understand. They were gentle, and they weren't forcing things on him like Riku and Sora were. Because they let Roxas pick his own choices.
"That must mean that I only had fun because I was forced into everything. I'm not showing any feelings for Axel, they are imaginary and fake. And now, I will never get the real chance to become good friends with him. It'll always be fake and cold! And it's all Sora and Riku's fault!"
Roxas lost track of the road and ended up just driving around. When he realized his car wasn't moving anymore, he knew something was wrong.
"Oh no… Please, no…"
He was stuck in what looked like the middle of nowhere with nothing but the darkness and trees and empty roads surrounding him. And he was horrified. He dug his phone out of his pocket shakily, and looked at it. He was relieved when he saw that he could make a call. He thought hard on who he would want to call though. He wanted it to be someone that he could take all of this stress out as kindly as he can, someone he knew would listen no matter what the situation. Someone he honestly cared for. And then the blonde thought;
"Hey, what about Axel?"
So Roxas picked his phone up and dialed the number with practiced ease. He heard it ring once, twice…
"Hello?" Axel's delicious voice came to the phone. And Roxas felt like he could cry out of joy.
"I-I'm stuck out in this place… I don't know where I am… Please, I need help…"
"Oh my god Roxas, you need to hang up for now and call a tow-truck or the police or something! Are you hurt? Is there anyone around with you?"
Roxas bathed in the thought of how much Axel was worrying about him right now. God, what was this man trying to do to him?
"Yeah, I'm fine. Nobody's with me though, and I'm a little cold."
"You should get back in your car then, stay warm okay? I'm going to hang up and you get someone to find you."
"Okay…" Roxas' voice lost all hope once Axel's was gone. What was he supposed to do now? Axel was worried and he could do nothing, great.
So Roxas picked his phone up again and remembered that he and Sora know a guy named Cid who was really good with mechanics and cars. And he still knew his number, so he called.
"This is Cid, how can I help you?"
"Hey Cid, it's Roxas! Can you lend me a tow? I need one right now; I think my car ran out of gas. And I'm stuck out in this nowhere place.
"All right, I'll see what I can do for 'ya."
"Thank you so much Cid."
"Anytime."
And they hung up. Almost immediately after that, Roxas called Axel up in record time.
"Axel, I got someone to get my car and I... I'll be okay. Are you okay? I'm sorry to have worried you so much."
"I'm fine, I was a little worried. But how can I not be over you? I'm glad you're safe. So very glad. And that's all I needed to know."
"O-Oh… Okay… Thank you." Roxas blushed brightly and was glad Axel couldn't see it. But was happy that the redhead was talking with him.
"Why am I so shy when I'm doing anything related to Axel?"
And after a while, the truck came. Roxas got in next to Cid, and they pulled his car back into town. All the way back to his house. And of course, Sora was there to play mommy to Roxas and give him a lecture about gas and responsibility and stuff Roxas frankly didn't care about.
Roxas just wanted to talk with Axel more.
And that's when Roxas decided to call Axel again.
"Hey Axel, its Roxas. Do you wanna pick me up from my house? I wanted to hang out some more. Yeah, I know it's late, but please? Yay! Thank you so much!"
And only an hour later was Axel at the blonde's house. Roxas squealed with girlish happiness when he saw the redhead's car. And he ran out the door. And when he hopped into Axel's passenger seat, he leaned over and hugged the redhead.
"How are you?"
"Uhm… I'm fine, Roxas. But are you okay? You're acting a bit… hyper."
"I'm sorry, I'm just happy to see you I suppose."
"I'm happy to see you too then." Axel smiled.
Roxas smiled, blushed and looked away. And Axel laughed brightly. The blonde was so cute, and Axel loved it.
"You're truly adorable, you know that?"
"Me? No, I can't be…"
"Hush, you're so very cute, and your modesty only adds to it."
Roxas blushed more, looking up at the redhead's gorgeous face.
"I love your smile, your kindness, your modesty, how cute you are; your entire personality. And I also love your eyes, and your hair, and your skin. Every inch on your body I love. You honestly could say that I love you, Roxas. With all my heart."
Roxas gasped, but wasn't scared. Maybe, maybe Roxas felt the same.
And Axel leaned closer, coming towards Roxas' face. His heart was racing at the thrill of the moment. Their faces were so close and getting closer by the second. And just before pink plump lips could meet eager lips, Axel pulled away.
"I'm sorry… I can't, I shouldn't do that to you… I know you don't reflect the same feelings as I do."
Roxas looked at him, hurt filling his eyes. He obviously had something to prove now.
Roxas kissed each of Axel's cheeks, his forehead, hands and nose before saying;
"Axel, you've proved to me that you're not just another one of Sora's friends who want to date me. And I was doubting it when I was stuck, but now I believe fully that I'm all you really care about anymore. You obviously don't care about yourself, so I'll have to do that for you. So please, let me be the one who worries if you're okay, who can fix all of your broken bones, who can bandage all the cracks in that lonely heart, please, let me love you."
Axel was stunned. He had no idea what to say, and he didn't know what kind of emotion to show. But he grasped Roxas tightly, he held him close. And he wanted to scream out of joy when the blonde didn't try wriggling away, but came closer instead.
"Roxas… Roxas, Roxas, Roxas… Mine… You will be mine, right?"
"For always."
And Axel grabbed Roxas and kissed him slowly, sweetly, and shyly. And the taste that can only be described as Roxas kicked in.
Roxas, on the other hand, was so happy. And for the first time, felt fulfilled. He kissed Axel deeper and deeper until he felt himself sitting on the redhead's lap. And that was when they both fully blushed.
Roxas removed himself from Axel and sat back in the passenger seat. Still blushing quite a bit, but smiling over at the redhead anyway. The blonde then grabbed Axel's free hand, and held it warmly and without hesitation.
"I love you." The blonde whispered.
"I love you too, so much."
And they drove off, going to Axel's house.
--
Sorry, this one was late and it was pretty bad. Oh well, at least they're in love now! And CarbonBlack, I hope you like it the most!
EDIT:
Okay, so chapter 4 is back up again. I revised it, a LOT so I think it's a little better please go on and read it, maybe tell what you think, if you want.