Special thanks to Shadowfang92, who guest authored this chapter! Thornwhisker is Shadow's OC. Please leave Shadow a good review. :D

I just wanted to be the best warrior TigerClan have ever seen! I never would've willingly attacked Frostsky, she's a clanmate! Gentlesong's sister. A loyal warrior just like me. Or at least like me before something strange happened, something that turned my clan against me.

Everything was beyond my control. I felt a presence of some kind enter my body, then next thing I know, something inside of me was forcing me to attack Frostsky, right there in front of my clanmates. My body was being controlled by this alien force and I had no choice but to follow along. There was no stopping my actions. I could've killed her, but the presence left my body. Just as spontaneously as it had come about. I was scared, the whole clan was staring at me with confusion. And accusations. Some even had hatred and fear in their eyes as if they expected me to attack them at any moment.

I tried to explain to the clan that I didn't mean to, that I was being controlled by some strange force. My own mentor didn't believe me. He didn't want me in the clan, and even thought I was going to turn into another Duskfang. The clan couldn't have that, so Mossstar exiled me.

At first I didn't blame them. I understood that it was best for the clan. As I was leaving, I looked to Gentlesong for any kind of sign that she didn't hate me. But did I get that sign? No! She wouldn't even meet my eyes. Feeling horrible, I left the clan, my heart filled with sorrow.

I wasn't ready to give up my home, I stayed in TigerClan territory, unready to leave. Thinking back I wish I did leave. Maybe I could have saved myself the pain of seeing Gentlesong again. Great StarClan, I loved her so much. Even worse then seeing her again, she talked to me. And me being so stupid had not been thinking of what I was putting her through. I asked her if she can see me again. She looked like she was worried about me, she didn't want me to get her. I laugh now at that small conversation and I wonder if she realized how much she hurt me, later on. Don't worry, we'll get to that other conversation later.

I wandered around the territory lost and alone. A few suns went by, and I came back to me and Gentlesong's meeting place. She showed up on accident. I could tell that she didn't mean to come find me, it just happened. I didn't give her much time to speak. In the past few suns, I had time to grow angry, mainly at TigerClan and StarClan. At one point, I even think I got angry at her. It's funny, our second meeting, I told her I was not coming back to TigerClan territory. If only I'd listened to myself.

I left Gentlesong then, and I went into LionClan territory to grab a bite to eat. Big mistake! I was attacked and captured, by a LionClan warrior. First off, I was captured because I may have slipped out that StarClan was out to get us all. They brought me into their camp and straight to Nightcloud, their medicine cat. I told my story, but did she believe me? Of course not! To her, I was just some crazy exile.

Another LionClan warrior told me that she knew how I felt, she said that she had shed the blood of someone close to her before. I laughed at her claim. I didn't kill anyone, I was only made to attack, but hearing that a warrior that had killed a clanmate on purpose and was still in their clan made me even more angry. Without waiting for my escort, I left their camp and went into LeopardClan territory. Only to get caught again.

Feeling the need to have some sort of comfort, I later came back to TigerClan territory. I went straight to me and Gentlesong's meeting place, determined to wait for her. I ended up falling asleep and I had these terrible nightmares. Only the nightmares did not compare to the real life events that happened after I awoke. Gentlesong showed up and awoke me.

At first, I was so happy to see her. So happy that I told her I loved her, another mistake. She told me that she loved me too, but before I had the chance to reply, she added that, "It could never be." My heart had torn in half at that very moment, but that didn't stop me from saying that she was right. I even made her promise that she would not turn out like me.

After that, I left feeling completely alone. It was that on day that I realized I was completely and utterly alone. Have you ever felt alone? Not having a home to go to, or someone to comfort you when you feel down? I do, and it feels like you're not even living. Not really.