Summary: Altair can't forget what he was forced to do to his master and he can't cope with it, who will come to save him. Rated M for Angst, self harming, attempted suicide. Eventually Altair/Malik
Disclaimer: I only own a copy of Assassin's creed not the rights to it. I make no money from this story so I can't lend any to anyone.
To the bitter end
Bold: Peoples thought
A Few moments ago
Malik stood outside Altairs door. There was silence on the other side and Malik thought Altair would be asleep. He knocked on the door and called Altairs name out. There was no answer and he was just about to leave when he heard.
"STOP PLEASE STOP!"
Malik spun around and began to bang on Altairs door.
"ALTAIR! ALTAIR OPEN UP!"
His only answer was a scream of pain. He took two steps back and ran at the door, trying to knock it down with his shoulder. Around him other doors were opening and assassins heads were poking out, another scream of pain gave him a little extra strength and he ran at the door again and it burst open. The sights inside made him go pale.
Altair was lying on sheets that were red with his own blood. His hidden blade was out and covered with his own blood. He saw the bloody wound on his wrist and instantly knew what Altair had done.
"ALTAIR!"
Some other assassins were looking in with wide eyes and mouths. Malik spun on them.
"Don't just stand there! Get some bandages, medicines and doctors, NOW!"
The assassins all ran in different directions following his orders. Malik turned back into Altairs room and entered it on shaky feet. He sat on a clean part of Altairs bed and gently grabbed the other assassin. He placed his fingers on the pulse point on his neck and felt.
Good, he's still alive. Come on Altair, hang in there.
Footsteps behind him made him tense up. Even though he was in his home his assassin instincts made him prepared for anything. He glanced over his shoulder and relaxed when he saw the village's resident doctor. The doctor took one look at Altair and ushered Malik out of the room. Malik took one last look over his shoulder to his comatose and dying friend before the door was slammed in his face.
---
"Altair? Wake up Altair"
Altair groaned and opened his eyes. His eyesight was blurred but he could make out the shape of Malik standing above him.
"Hi Malik"
The face above him smiled and leant down close so his mouth was just above Altairs. In barely more than a whisper he said;
"I was so worried about you; don't ever do that to me again."
The man above him put his hand on Altairs cheek. Altair leant into it slightly, hardly believing what was happening. He'd wanted this for so long, acceptance, love, friendship and now he was getting it from the person he wanted it from the most. He looked up at Malik and smiled, all his love being shown through his eyes.
"You were worried?"
The smile on Malik's face was going in and out of focus but Altair could see it had become crueller, less human. Altair tried to pull away from Malik but winced as the mans nails dug into his cheek, his other hand coming to rest lightly around his throat.
Wait a minute, other hand?
"Who are you? You're not Malik."
The face above him distorted and changed. Altair gasped as the face of his master loomed above him. The hand around his throat tightened astronomically making the breath rush out of Altair and little black spots dance in front of his eyes.
"Foolish child, so full of dreams and ambition. I thought I had rid you of this foolishness, these selfish desires. I guess I failed, but know this, Malik will never see you as anything more than the man who killed his brother. Altair Ibn La-Ahad; disgraced assassin and murderer that's all you'll ever be to him."
Altair choked out a response. The hand around his neck tightened even more and Altair knew instantly that he was helpless to the mad man above him.
"He…he said that…that I was a different person. That I had…had changed. I wasn't the man he used to know."
"So he said, but can you be sure that he wasn't lying, using you by pretending to be your friend, just like I did."
Al Mualim looked down at Altair and laughed, raking his nails along Altairs cheek, leaving long bloody wounds in his cheek. Altair winced and watched as his former master began to laugh manically.
---
Altairs eyes sprang open and a small squeak came out of his mouth. Assassins weren't afraid of anything, everyone knew that but Altair was ashamed to say he could no longer call himself an assassin. The dream he had just had had scared him, it had terrified him. Not because of the pain, oh no he could handle that but with the possibility that his former master was right. He tried to turn over but winced in pain. He looked down at his arm and saw crisp white bandages adorning his wrists. He remembered piercing his wrists with his hidden blade, the coppery smell of blood and the sound of a crash and a voice.
That voice, it was Malik's.
He felt terrible; his old friend had seen him in a pitiful state. He probably hated him now and that combined with the warning his master had given him made tears well up in his eyes. He curled himself up into a ball, listening to the echoes of his masters' deranged laughter.
Some time later a voice came from behind him.
"How are you feeling master assassin?"
Altair didn't even turn over. He knew the doctors voice, he had been to see him enough times after missions.
"Sore but nothing I cannot handle."
A slight chuckle and then the old mans face was in front of him.
"Would I get an answer if I asked why you did this?"
Silence and the doctor nodded his head; he knew the assassin wouldn't have answered. He looked over the assassins shoulder and saw Malik entering the makeshift recovery room. He grinned and looked back down at Altair.
"Would you answer Malik if he asked?"
Altair answered grumpily.
"Maybe."
"Well then I leave him to you Malik, see if you can get anything more out of him."
Altair quickly turned onto his back and looked over to see his friend leaning against the doorframe looking down on him with a very pissed off expression on his face.
Oh Shit.
Malik gave a curt nod to the doctor as he left and then turned back onto Altair. Altair gulped and looked back up at Malik. He wasn't worried about his friend hurting him, Altair could certainly hold his own against the older man but he didn't really want to have to fight him, especially as he was injured.
"You going to tell me what happened or am I going to have to force it out of you?"
Altair glared over at Malik. Malik gave a dangerous grin back in return.
"Guess I've got to force it out of you."
Altair began to protest as Malik walked over to him. He knew what Malik was capable of. Torture didn't necessarily have to leave any scars; mental torture was worse for Altair than physical who knew what Malik's malicious mind could concoct. His eyes widened at the evil look Malik was giving him. He knew that look; people started making bets at how few words it would take Malik to decimate his opponent when that look was on his face. Altair gulped, would it be better if he gave in and told him what he wanted or face his wrath.
"Last chance Altair; tell me what is going on."
He felt trapped. There were no chains or ropes holding him to the bed but Malik's gaze, his sheer presence was enough to stop him from moving. With one last quick thought he gave in.
"I-I've been hearing voices lately."
Malik stopped his advance on the bed. He blinked once, twice and finally decided to sit down on the bed with Altair.
"Voices?"
Altair nodded solemnly, he couldn't believe how hard it was to tell Malik something as simple as this.
"Yes, Al Mualim, Robert De Sable and the others have come back to haunt me. They blame me for their deaths, which is understandable I did kill them."
"Altair, you needed to kill them, they were going to enslave the world and as for them coming back to haunt you that's a lie, there are no such things as ghosts."
Altair shook his head in sorrow.
"There is, I thought I told you that I saw the people I killed standing, walking about as if still alive when they were really lying at my feet dying."
Malik smiled and grabbed Altairs shoulder.
"That was simply a hallucination brought on by the stress of the kill and the release of adrenaline. You have nothing to fear Altair, you aren't going mad its just guilt nothing more."
Altair looked up at him with wide eyes wanting to believe him but remembering what his master had told him.
"By the way, just in case you're wondering you've been out for a week."
Altairs eye rose.
"A week"
Malik nodded.
"You're lucky you didn't hit a main artery otherwise you wouldn't be here. What were you thinking? Why did you do it?"
Altair closed his eyes in shame.
"I just wanted the voices to stop."
Altairs eyes widened as Malik's face went cold with this admission. His eyes shone with hurt emotion.
""You should have come to me, I would have helped you, we're friends right?"
Altair was about to answer when a voice whispered to him.
A Murderer that's all you'll ever be to him. He doesn't mean what he says.
Altair looked over Malik's shoulder to the indistinct form of his master, covered in blood.
Don't listen, he doesn't mean it; he'll simply set you up to knock you down, just like I did.
Altair closed his eyes tightly, trying to shut out the venomous voice.
---
Malik looked over his shoulder where Altair had been looking. There was nothing there.
"Altair what is it? Are they back, the voices?"
Altair squeezed his eyes shut tighter. Malik was getting more and more worried, this wasn't Altair, his Altair was brave, something like this wouldn't get to him so easily. It must be something more, these 'voices' must be using something that truly hurt Altair, that's the only reason he would react like this.
Maybe it's something to do with the 'real him' that Al Mualim was writing about.
Malik shook Altair hard and shouted at him, trying to get some reaction other than the squeezing of his eyes.
"Altair its Malik, come on open your eyes."
Altair shook his head, his eyes squeezed so tight it was as if the sight of Malik would have burnt his eyes out.
"Altair, I'm your friend, I want to help you."
"LIER"
Malik took a step back as Altairs eyes shot open and he jumped up. Altair poked Malik in the chest with one finger, pain and dejection on his face.
"Don't lie to me Malik; I know what you really think of me. You think I'm a murderer, I ruined your life. I stole your arm and your brother from you. I'm a disgrace to the assassin brotherhood, I caused the death of my own and I live my life in fear of the ghosts who haunt me. You should have left me to die in my room, at least then you'd be free of me. You wouldn't have to worry about seeing my face again; you could go on living your life knowing that the man who ruined it was dead."
Altair was glaring into Malik's eyes. Malik was shocked to see the pain, fear, desperation and sadness that haunted them, and was more shocked by the enormous shadows that were under his eyes. He pulled Altair into a hug and put his head on top of the younger assassins, ignoring the gasp that came from his. He leant his cheek onto Altairs hair, feeling shocked at how smooth it was.
"Altair, the men who killed my brother are already dead, you killed them."
Altair didn't look up and to Malik it felt as though he was burying himself deeper into his body.
"Them?"
"Al Mualim and the old Altair. You destroyed the evil in your soul and know you can be proud of the man you are. I don't want you dead; I'd miss you too much. You don't have to be ashamed of knowing fear; assassins aren't meant to be fearless. Fear is what keeps us alive, gives us wariness, and keeps us careful. We are meant to know fear but overcome it not deny it, that is what it means to be an assassin."
Malik had noticed that Altair was slowly getting heavier. He looked down at his friend and smiled when he looked back up at him. The grey eyes were starting to get cloudy with sleep. Altair had overdone it again. He carried him over to the bed and gently laid him down.
"Thank you Malik, for everything."
He pulled the blanket up over the nearly sleeping man and smiled.
"It's fine, that's what I'm here for."
He was about to leave when a hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, he looked down into the sleepy eyes of the young man. He tried to pull away but the hand tightened.
"Don't…go"
Malik smiled and sat down by Altair and leaned over to pull him in a loose embrace. He knew Altair wouldn't sleep unless he did this to give him some comfort. He didn't mind but it was so unlike the usually stoic man that it shocked him.
"I won't go to sleep."
He was sure Altair mumbled something into his pillow but when he looked the man was fast asleep.
He lifted his feet up and lay down besides Altair, trying to convey comfort and security to the man even in his sleep. Soon he joined the dark haired man in sleep.
Please R and R, no flames thank you.