Summary: Altair can't forget what he was forced to do to his master and he can't cope with it, who will come to save him. Rated M for Angst, self harming, attempted suicide. Eventually Altair/Malik
Disclaimer: I only own a copy of Assassin's creed not the rights to it. I make no money from this story so I can't lend any to anyone.
To the bitter end
Bold: Peoples thought
The next day Malik went to visit the doctor. He hadn't slept at all last night, he was too concerned about Altair to actually relax even though he was so exhausted that he could fall asleep where he stood, every time he felt himself falling asleep Altairs angry voice blasted through his head.
You teased me knowing that I love you. That's unforgivable. GET OUT BEFORE I RUN YOU THROUGH MALIK!
He shook his head and put his hand onto the doctor's front door. It eased open with a loud creak and Malik stepped into the darkness inside the house. The smell of herbs and a slight lingering trace of incense, not enough to overpower but enough to create a certain feel to the small house. Malik scanned the room and found no trace of the doctor.
"Doctor? Are you in here?"
Malik walked around the room, looking through the doors leading off the entrance room. He assumed that the man was up at the fortress and was about to leave when the door opened behind him. He turned around and saw the doctor and Ralim enter. They looked terrible. The doctor had enormous bags under his eyes and Ralim was holding a bloody tissue to his nose and had a massive bruise on the left side of his face that Malik assumed Altair had given to him. Malik ran his hand through his hair in frustration and tugged it as he growled. The doctor looked up from the conversation he was having with Ralim and smiled at the sight of Malik standing in the centre of the room.
"Ah Malik glad that you're here."
Malik grabbed the doctors shoulder gently and shook it gently.
"How is he Doctor Ishtar? Is he going to be okay? He hasn't done anything stupid has he?"
The doctor took Malik's hand off of his shoulder and placed it down by Malik's side. He stared into Malik's eyes and noted the shadows underneath them.
"You haven't slept."
"How can I with Altair in the state he's in?"
The doctor put his bag on the table and began bustling around the room, grabbing small bottles and pouring them into a cup. Malik watched this with a detached interest.
"So how is he?"
"Asleep, he was up all night talking with Ralim."
Malik noticed with amusement that as he said this Ralim rubbed his cheek unconsciously. Ralim looked at him with a slightly shamed smile. Malik nodded in reply and turned back to Doctor Ishtar.
"So anything new come out?"
"Not really, other than the fact he's really pissed off with you and that he knew something like this would happen."
Malik looked down at the floor in embarrassment, Ralim was looking at him as though he was the devil incarnate.
"I can't believe you Malik, you knew he was fragile yet you tried to seduce him, teased him about it and then brought his world crashing down in one foul swoop. If I had best friends like you I'd hate to think what my enemies would be like."
Malik had his mouth open, ready to retort when the doctor stepped in.
"I'm as much to blame as well, I slightly teased him as well."
Ralim rounded on the old man.
"Yes but it wouldn't hurt nearly as much coming from you."
Malik rubbed his face with his hand.
"I wasn't teasing him, I meant it. I….I love him."
Malik blinked in wonder. He loved Altair? When he thought about it he realised it was true. He had thought it was simple sexual attraction but when he thought longer about it he realised it went so much deeper. When Altair had caused the tragedy at Solomon's temple it had felt like his soul was being ripped out and his heart ripped in two, every time Altair came to his bureau it broke his heart a little more, he saw that Altair was changing for the better and as much as he wanted to forgive there was always a slight slither of doubt in his mind, that it was too good to be true. When the ice finally broke he thought it was too late to revive their friendship but it was and he was so happy. So very happy and now he's finally realised what it meant.
"I love him and oh my god I've broken him."
He feel to the floor, waves upon waves of despair washed over him as his exhaustion made everything two million times worse. A hand was placed on his shoulder and a cup was lifted to his mouth.
"Drink this Malik."
Malik opened his mouth willingly, the doctor's order cutting through the haze of depression. He drank every last drop and almost instantly the warm embrace of sleep washed over him.
---
He didn't know how much time had past and frankly he didn't care. He was curled up into a ball on the doctors bed, in the position that Altair had taken only days earlier. He couldn't come to terms to how much he had hurt Altair. He felt the bed sag slightly as someone sat besides him, he looked up to the hulking form of Ralim.
"Malik."
"Ralim"
There was silence, so thick you could cut it with a knife.
"It might be beneficial to both of you if you go to visit."
Malik glared at Ralim, was the man insane?
"He'll only get angry and try to kill me."
Ralim laughed and stared down at the curled up man besides him.
"I don't think so. If I thought that I'd be banning you. What you said…it sounded genuine and if you can talk with that much conviction to Altair then I think you just might be the one to save him."
A few more minutes past and Ralim stood back up again.
"Think about it Malik, it might do you both some good."
Malik was left alone with his thoughts until finally he made his decision. He stood up and walked out of the bedroom, passing a silent Ralim and Doctor Ishtar who were sitting at the big wooden table in the centre of the room. He walked out the front door, up to the fortress and found himself once again standing outside Altairs bedroom door. He thought about knocking but then he thought better of it. He turned the handle and walked in. The room was peaceful, a far cry from what it was a day ago. The sheets were clean and there was no traces of blood anywhere in the room. He looked at the bed and smiled at the sleeping form of Altair. He looked so peaceful.
"So Handsome."
He couldn't believe he'd just said that out loud. He sat on the bed and ran his hand over the clean crisp linen sheets. He ran it further up and over the chin of the sleeping man. He wished with all his heart that he'd thought more before he opened his mouth, thought more about the repercussions of his actions. When he was younger, wiser, he was always hesitant about his actions, thinking about every possible outcome when he made a decision, in everything but when it came to Altair it seemed he lost all logical thought and just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"I'm sorry Altair, I know you can't hear me but I want to say it. I really did mean what I did yesterday. I wanted to hold you, kiss you. I wasn't teasing you. I would never do that. I just wish you'd believe me."
Malik leant forward and place a light kiss on the sleeping mans lips and stood up to walk back out. Now he only had to say that when he was awake.
"I can't believe you actually had the guts to come back here and kiss me after what you did."
Malik spun around and saw a very angry Altair who was just waking up.
"You…you heard what I said."
Altair rubbed the back of his head still glaring at Malik.
"You were talking? No I didn't hear what you said you back stabbing bastard. I don't think it'd be anything important coming from you though."
"I was trying to explain what happened. I was trying to apologise."
Altair snorted, looking away from Malik and out of the window.
"And what could you possibly say that would make me believe you."
Malik balled his fists up in frustration. Should he say it? Would Altair actually believe him? He closed his eyes and decided to follow his heart this one time.
"Because I love you…"
He didn't have a chance to say anymore as the venomous look Altair threw him made him stutter into silence. Altairs glare was cold. Very cold.
"I can't believe you just said that, seriously Malik do you expect me to believe you've fallen in love with me overnight, which is seriously the biggest load of bullshit I've heard in a while."
Malik took it all in silence. His fists were still clenched when Altair reached the end of his tirade.
"It wasn't overnight, I've only realised what everything meant after a conversation with Ralim. All the things i'd been feeling over the years but was too dense to realise what they mean."
"Malik I don't believe you, just go before you do anything to make things worse."
Malik laughed, but it was a half sob, half hysterical chuckle.
"Okay Altair I'll leave, I don't know when I'll be back though so I guess this is goodbye."
Altair looked at him in shock. At any other time Malik would be laughing at him for that expression but right now things were no laughing matter.
"What do you mean Malik? If you think you'll get any sympathy from me…"
Malik exploded.
"YOU. It's always you. I'm not leaving as part of some elaborate sympathy ploy so get that idea out of your head. I'm leaving because I'm obviously not helping your recovery…"
Malik spun around and opened the door; he looked over his shoulder at Altair and made one final remark before he walked away from the one person he loved above anyone else.
"And I'm leaving because being around you when you're like this is breaking my heart."
Malik shut the door behind him, leaving a very confused Altair staring at the door in silence.
Please R and R, no flames thank you.