Please don't kill me! (dodges sharp objects) I know that it's been forever since I last updated, but I've been in driving school and suffering a massive case of writer's block. I'm here, now, so no more baying for my blood.

Disclaimer: I have manga volume 30, but not the ownership of Naruto.

"We've got to keep up appearances," Sakura explained, as she fiddled with Sasuke's clothes absentmindedly.

Seriously, she thought, what on earth did I see in him? He wears a purple butt bow, for god's sake!

"Which means what, exactly? That Sasuke and I have to pretend to like each other?"

"Well, Gaara, you are in Sakura's body, and I am in your body, so…"

"OH GROSS! I HAVE TO DATE SASUKE?!"

"That's the high and low of it," Sakura said dejectedly.

"Oh god," Gaara moaned, "This is worse than that time Kankuro wanted to be a clown…"

Sasuke froze.

"Clown?"

Both Gaara and Sakura stared at him.

"What's wrong with clowns?"

Sasuke grabbed Sakura by the shoulders.

"I HATE CLOWNS! THEY WANT TO BE THE DOMINANT SPECIES ON THE PLANET, AND THEY'LL DESTROY US ALL TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!!"

Sasuke then let go, and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!"

As Sasuke continued screaming, Sakura leaned toward Gaara.

"Gaara," she said over the din of screams, "Even though I know that's Sasuke screaming, it's still weird to see your body screaming like that…"

A shadowed figure winced as the cacophony of screams increased in volume, sending birds flying and the Inuzuka family dogs howling.

"Remind me why I let you do this," he said to his partner.

"Because you thought it'd be hilarious. And you know what? It is!"

"…DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY-"

"Sasuke, shut up!"

Sasuke quieted, much to Sakura and Gaara's relief.

"Seriously, though," Sasuke said innocently, "I hate clowns."

THUD.

Guys, sorry for the short update. I'll have a longer one, but first, I have a problem.

There are two stories, Trapped in Closet: No ramen, believe it! and Trapped in Closet: Fangirl Paradise!

Both have many sections that sound suspiciously like my previous story Coming Out of the Closet, and although I'm not mad that they used almost direct quotes and basic jokes from my story, I am upset that they didn't ask permission. Read both stories, and then please tell me if I should report it or not. I would really appreciate it.

Other than that, REVIEW!