A Question of Honor
Part of the Final Fantasy: Clouded Horizons Storyline

…The Hope And Regret

It had been weeks since the drive to Esthar when Liam Bayloh had actually realized what Yuna Kaname had meant when her lips had softly brushed his, proclaiming her affection for the vampire. And truthfully, she'd been nervous at first. The last person she'd uttered those three words to had ended up not holding them safe and close…

And Angel hadn't said anything to her yet.

Sure, they'd talked a lot since, but that night had remained unspoken of. The way he was acting, she wondered if she had dreamed it all; perhaps she'd not even kissed him to begin with. And if she'd imagined the whole thing… she wasn't sure she could ever do it for real.

Whether it happened or whether it didn't, however, didn't change the fact that she'd been dreaming about it ever since. She was making herself nervous by not saying anything, which was in turn causing herself misery, which in turn was causing her physical illness.

She'd never dealt well with being anything less than completely truthful. Call it the summoner's spirit that Lulu and Wakka had raised in her. Deception was the hardest trait for her to deal with in herself and in others. Because of that, anything less than honesty from her, she considered deplorable.

Which is why she was slowly feeling worse and worse.

"Thinking about me?"

She jumped from her seat on one of the many benches in the concourse of Trabia Garden. Angel sat next to where she'd just been sitting, and chuckled quietly. "I was wondering how long it'd take before you noticed I was here. It appears I had to up my game a bit," he commented. Then, looking at her, he shook his head. "I didn't mean to frighten you, though."

She glared, but before long it had softened into a smile. "I forgive you, meanie."

His eyes widened. "Meanie? Really?"

She grinned. "Rikku rubbed off on me. It just slipped out, I suppose."

He rose to his feet, the smile remaining on his face. "A meanie, though? Really?"

Her grin only widened. "A big meanie! And I don't like you at all!"

His eyes twinkled, and his smiled quirked. "Not what you said the other day."

And just like that, her heart stopped. The words echoing through her head; what he had said, what she had said a few days previous? It had happened. Her eyes slowly drifted up to his, looking for confirmation of what he had said.

"We should talk," he quietly said, as he took her hand and escorted her towards the exit.

She was surprised, to say the least.

All the times in the past, Angel had brought her to various restaurants in the world. From the cafeteria at Trabia Garden, to Rubedo's in Deling City, she'd never quite known what to expect from the man. It'd always been a comfortable setting… which made her wonder exactly why they were in the middle of a field of flowers someplace in Centra. He'd been fairly quiet on the subject, however, so she'd allowed him to remain secretive.

But, she was excited. A picnic, perhaps?

He led her out to the center of the field, or as close as she could figure it was. Then, he'd turned away from her, looking out over the massive expanse, a far-away look in his eyes. They stood in silence before she finally broke it.

"Angel?"

He turned slowly to her, meeting her eyes. "Yuna… I… need you to know," his words came out strained, his face conveying nothing but nervousness. She grasped his hand, attempting to help him calm down. "Know what?" She asked.

He glanced down at their hands, linked, and began to speak almost silently. "My hands are stained; cold as stone. They'll never warm you; they'll never be anything other than what you feel them to be now. They're covered in the invisible blood of the innocents, forever muffling the tortured cries of those murdered, taken before their time."

He took his right hand from her, bringing it to her face.

"These hands are given life by blood, but not of my own. My life is fueled by those who have fallen; their spilled blood is the essence of what keeps me alive. My body has long rejected life, choosing to exist to take life from those around it."

He took her hand, touching two of her fingers to the point where his neck and head met. "My heart no longer beats. I don't need to breath and I don't ever sweat. I stopped needing to sleep when this change overtook my body," he whispered, his hand dropping from hers.

"I need you to know what you fell in love with."

Before her eyes, his face morphed. His face paled significantly, beginning his transformation into his true vampiric form. His forehead broadened, giving him the appearance of an ogre. His eyes darkened to a malevolent gold, piercing her to her very soul. Within seconds, the man she knew had turned into a terrifying yet brooding hulk.

To her credit, she did not scream.

"You fell in love with Liam Jacob Bayloh. You fell in love with Angel… you fell in love with the Scourge of Dollet, Angelus. You fell in love with an abomination; a Vayash Moru… a vampire."

He turned away, resigned to the fate that he knew was coming. While he'd had relationships, few people could accept the fact that their "friend" was a monster, and had committed murder on a genocidal level. His sins would never be forgiven, and while he had learned to cope with that, very few others could.

Which is why he was surprised when her hand touched his left shoulder, gently turning him towards her. And there was nothing showing on her beautiful face except for wonderful acceptance. "You believe yourself to be nothing but a monster, Liam?"

His eyes shut. She'd found truly the only emotional weakness; his own perception and his self-depreciation.

"You're not a monster," she stated firmly. His eyes didn't open, and she brought her hand to his face and began to caress it gently. "A monster wouldn't take me out to dinner, and make me smile in my worst times. An abomination wouldn't teach me how to feel like a bird. A scourge wouldn't feel guilt over the crimes he committed. A bane wouldn't have brought me to this wondrous field to admit his crimes. The horrible thing you see yourself as…" she paused, collecting herself. "…it wouldn't promise to protect me."

His eyes opened to meet hers. "You… heard?" Her response was non-verbal; her smile widened to wonderful proportions. Then, finally, she spoke once more. "Your heart doesn't beat, but I feel it. I feel the warmth of your hands, though the coldness tries to prevent it."

Then she pressed her lips to his. And to his addled mind, it quietly occurred that she was kissing the vampire façade, not his human features. But soon, the thoughts were drawn away by the soul-searching nature of her lips, the taste of strawberry, touched with the hopes and dreams of a future in which he was able to live without the self-loathing that he'd hid for so long. Even with that hope, however… he wasn't sure if he could surrender what he had held so close for so long to her.

After what seemed like hours, she pulled away, her arms still around him.

"I didn't fall in love with the monster, or the man. I fell in love with all of you, for better or for worse, Liam."

The vampire's façade faded, replaced by his human side. He pulled her closer to him, bringing her lips to his again.

It turned out that surrender was fairly simple.

--

And we are finished. I'm really pleased with the final product. I have beta testers by the name of Ben and Darius, and they did a good thing, along with those on the Forsaken Dreams forums who read over it as well. Thanks guys!