Chapter 4: A Talent for Trouble
"Uh, Rodney? Are you sure you should be screwing around with that?"
McKay sighed and turned around to face John. "Look, Sheppard, despite what you might believe, I do actually know what I'm doing. I need to activate this console to see if I can get the power back online. Hardly what I'd call 'screwing around'…"
Inside, the corridor where they were currently standing was dimly lit by what appeared to be emergency lighting – it was similar to what they had on Atlantis, only slightly weaker. The red, migraine-inducing tint made everything look like a set from a bad horror movie and Sheppard kept expecting some monster or other to leap out at them from around a corner. According to McKay, the building was in some kind of power-down cycle, trying to conserve energy: much like a television on standby.
Thus the reason why the lights were poor and the boys were using the flashlights on their P-90s.
The Colonel estimated that they were about twenty or so feet underground. When they entered the outpost, they had found themselves in little more than a large but empty hall. Sensing their ATA genes, the building had tried valiantly to turn itself on but only managed the dim lights that gave both men a headache. However, part of the floor had suddenly shifted to reveal a long ramp that led down into the structure's bowels. They had briefly investigated three levels so far and were currently on the fourth, but there was no way of knowing just how big the place was until Rodney got the power back online. What was clear, however, was the fact that they wouldn't be able to explore the entire building on their own.
That was when McKay had finally had enough and set about trying to coerce the place into activating.
"So, why's it not turning on properly for either of us?" asked John.
Rodney counted to ten under his breath, convinced that the Colonel was only playing dumb to wind him up. "The outpost is in a 'sleeper' mode," he explained for what felt like the hundredth time. "What that means in basic terms is that the power source is only running the bare essentials, as far as the systems go, in order to conserve energy. Until I can take a look, I won't know how much power we have to play with."
"So there's a chance there isn't that much juice then."
"Give the man a biscuit," the Canadian replied, grinning. "In an ideal world, I'd come back with a small team and a couple of Naquadah generators, but we don't really have the time."
"And there's only, what, about two dozen or so of your department with the gene?"
Rodney nodded. "Unfortunately, Carson's gene therapy hasn't worked as well as we'd hoped on the new intake. Most of my teams that are blessed with the gene are either at the Alpha Site on repair duty or laid up with that damn bug." As he spoke, he finished prying the cover from the console. "Can you shine your light over here? I need both hands to do this." He waved his fingers to illustrate his point.
Sheppard obliged, turning so that his flashlight was illuminating the console. It looked to be an absolute mess – there were wires everywhere, some of which looked to be nearing the end of their life span, and a half dozen control crystals. Even though he wasn't an expert, John could see that more than half of them were unlit and that usually meant busted. "Looks like someone had some real cowboys in here," he said, giving a low whistle.
McKay nodded in agreement. "It's a complete shambles." He tugged a couple of wires out of the way and pulled out what John assumed was the main control crystal: mainly because it was larger than the others and more or less in the middle. Rodney held it up to the light and sighed – there was a massive crack running down the centre of it. "Broken," he stated gloomily.
"Can you fix it?"
"No. I'd need to replace it, but I don't have any spares with me. I might be able to work around it, make some sort of bypass, but it'll take a while."
Sheppard grimaced. Rodney's definition of 'a while' was often radically different to his own, and he wasn't about to ask for a time span – especially not after the 'arbitrary numbers' speech that he'd received on Asuras. Regardless, they only had a couple of hours to complete the search before their designated check in and the pilot didn't want to waste it while McKay performed the scientific version of heart surgery.
A thought struck him and he suddenly realised they could potentially kill two birds with one stone. "Is this the only place you can do this from?" he asked. "I mean what about the chair? You said there was supposed to be one here, didn't you? Can you use the chair to…?" He trailed off, looking at the physicist with a hopeful expression.
Rodney paused, tilting his head and drumming his fingers against the discarded casing as he thought. "I'm not sure." He reached out and grabbed his data pad from his backpack, typing furiously. "I just need to take a look at the outpost schematics…" He smiled as he called up the blueprints. "We need to get here," he said, pointing to a room further down into the complex. "I should be able to fix everything from in there – it's like the control room back on Atlantis."
"Define 'everything'. And what about the chair?"
Rodney stood up, stretching his back and shoulders. John visibly winced as he heard his friend's joints cracking. McKay really needed to spend less time hunched over a computer, he decided. It just wasn't healthy.
The physicist turned to Sheppard and started ticking off his fingers as he spoke. "Lights, doors, security – you name it. I might even be able to see if there are any spare Zed PMs lying around." He tilted his head at the American, with a bemused expression on his face. "You really are obsessed with things that go boom, aren't you? The chair is deeper into the complex, about five levels down from where we are now. Let me get the security system disabled, and then we can go on a hunt for spare drones, okay?"
"Okay," replied John, feeling both relieved and tense. The odd feeling he'd had earlier was back with a vengeance now that they were actually inside, and he couldn't shake it off. Instead, he chose to ignore it – a decision that he would later regret. "You know which way to go?"
"Please, Sheppard, I happen to have an excellent sense of direction," the Canadian shot back.
"So says you, the man who got lost trying to find the kitchens."
"It was dark! And besides, that was only a week into the expedition. As I recall, you were the one who had to be shown the way to my lab on three separate occasions – by Kavanaugh!" He narrowed his eyes. "So you'll forgive me when I say there's no way in hell that I'm letting you lead in here. Let's face it: your shortcuts are dangerous."
"It was one time! And I said I was sorry!"
"You led us into the secret underground lair of megalomaniacal freaks with plans for galactic domination! I don't think 'sorry' quite cuts it!"
"Ah, c'mon, Rodney! That was two years ago…"
"No! End of discussion! I'm navigating."
"Rod-ney..."
___________________________________________________________________________
"Why can't I just blow the doors up?"
Ronon was bored, hungry and frustrated – and that usually meant that he was in a bad mood. Today was no exception. The ex-runner was pacing and growling under his breath. He looked like a time bomb waiting to explode.
Teyla couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped her lips. She looked over at Ronon and raised an eyebrow. "For a start, it would not work."
"Be fun trying though," the Satedan grunted. "It beats this." He waved a hand around dismissively.
'This' was exploring the perimeter of the outpost, trying to find a back door into the building. Or, failing that, an opening from age and weather abuse. The building had seemed to be in one piece, but there was a slight chance that it wasn't as solid as it appeared. They had found a couple of entrances, but neither had opened and frustration was beginning to set in.
"Although I am sure that it would make you feel better, I do not think Rodney would approve of that particular method," the Athosian replied, pulling at some overgrown vines that were obstructing what seemed to be another doorway. "And it might cause a considerable amount of damage."
Ronon grinned, and helped her to tug away the vegetation. "Don't care," he said. "I'm bored and I don't like being split up." Another swift yank at the vines. "It worries me."
Teyla sighed. "I know. Both the Colonel and Dr McKay seem to have a… talent for finding trouble."
The last of the vines fell away to reveal a small panel. Exchanging a look, Teyla reached forward and pressed the panel. Nothing happened.
"Can I please shoot it?"
"No." She reached up to click on her earpiece. "Colonel Sheppard, Dr McKay? Do you read me?"
"Loud and clear, Teyla," John's voice crackled back over the radio. "Had any luck yet?"
"I am afraid not. Every door we have encountered has been as uncooperative as the first. How are you progressing?"
"Well, we're still trying to turn the main power back on. Rodney thinks he can over-ride everything from some sort of control room further inside the complex. We're heading down there now. This place is like a damn maze…"
"I don't THINK, Sheppard, I KNOW," McKay's voice snapped back, cutting the Colonel off. "God, you're infuriating. And we're not going to get lost!"
Teyla and Ronon exchanged smiles. For all their bickering and verbal fighting, they knew that the two men were extremely confident in the other's abilities. "That is good to know," she replied, "but you might want to consider hurrying up. Ronon is becoming agitated."
"You mean he wants to blow something into bits with that blaster of his, don't you?" That was McKay again. "If you're listening, you over-sized, trigger happy caveman, you are NOT allowed to shoot at anything unless it's trying to maim, eat or kill you. Especially not the doors! NO SHOOTING AT THE DOORS! Is that clear enough?"
"Just wait 'til you come back out again, little man," Ronon growled, grinning at the Athosian. "You're just being brave 'cos I can't get in there to hurt you."
"Teyla, for the love of God, don't let him blow anything up. We're still inside after all and being blown up by an armed and dangerous Neanderthal isn't high on my list of 'Things I'd like To Do To-"
There was what sounded like a thump and a muffled curse over the radio, and then John spoke again. "Children, that's enough!" he said in a commanding tone (although Teyla could hear the smile in his voice). "If you can't play nice then I'm gonna take your toys away."
"Like to see you try, Sheppard," muttered the ex-runner. He looked at the control panel. "Can I just smack it a bit? I promise I won't shoot it."
"NO!" snapped McKay. "And seriously, OW! That HURT, Sheppard!"
"It was MEANT to, Rodney. Look, Ronon, I know you and Teyla are both frustrated, but give us fifteen minutes to see if McKay's plan works."
"And if it does not?" asked Teyla.
"Well, then you have my permission to blow the crap out of the main doors, big guy."
"Colonel!"
"Stow it, genius. Besides, you'll get everything working in no time at all. You always say you work best under pressure."
"That is SO not fair! Like I said earlier, I am NOT MacGyver!"
"Never said you were. And none of us were seriously thinking that anyways."
"Very well," the Athosian interrupted before the physicist could launch into another rant. "We will wait until we hear from you again."
"Okey-doke. Sheppard out." The radio crackled off.
"Looks like we're waiting then," Ronon grumped.
"Indeed it does," Teyla replied. A wicked smile lit up her face. "Why not take out some of your aggression on the trees over there?"
"You know, that's not such a bad idea," the ex-runner replied, nodding his head. "I feel a sudden urge to blow the crap outta something."