Mutant, Hamster, Meerkat, Chipmunk, ATTACK!

ATTACK!!!

I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight.

Warning: My story may contain Out Of Character-ness.

BEWARE!!

Edward's Point Of View

I went downstairs and answered the door, and I saw my worst nightmare.

I saw a door to door salesman!

"Hello. Would you like to buy a magazine?" the salesman said.

"No," I said.

"Please," he said.

"No," I said again.

"Fine," he said, then he walked away.

I was about to close the door when I saw my other worst nightmare.

"AH!" I screamed.

"Hello. Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?" a little girl asked.

"No," I said to the two little girls in the doorway.

"Why not?" the other little girl asked.

"I don't like cookies," I said.

"But we need to sell the most cookies to win a really cool bike," one of the girls said.

"No," I said.

"Fine. Jackass," they said as they walked away.

How offensive!

I closed the door - happy to be rid of those people - and was about to walk away when I heard the doorbell ring.

I opened the door again, and this time, I saw my worst of worst nightmares.

I saw my pets! But it wasn't just them. Behind them was the entire army I saw in the forest. But there were more of them!

OH NO!

They came running in the house and knocked me down and tied me up with a surprisingly strong rope. Then, they sprayed me with Febreze!!

The Horror!

I saw the other animals doing the same thing to Jasper, Alice, Esme and Carlisle. I looked the other way and saw them tying up Rosalie – which was kinda funny to watch – and Emmet trying to film the entire thing.

It was all so sad to watch. All except for Rosalie. That was just funny.

Once the animals were done tying all of us up and spraying us with Febreze, they went all around the house tearing things up and throwing things around.

Then, when they were done with that, they came back to us, opened a couple of closets, and threw Jasper and Emmet in each closet.

After they were done tearing our house up and spraying us with Febreze and throwing some of us in closets, they ran out the front door, the windows, some went through the walls for some reason.

And then it finally occurred to me, they're vampire animals!!!

Weird Unannounced, British Narrator Dude's Point Of View

Thalia, the hamster, Artemis, the meerkat, Luna, the mutant thingy and Hecate, the chipmunk, were in the forest with their army of vampire animals.

"We will go into the Cullen house and tie the Cullen's up for revenge of throwing us through walls and all that stuffs," Thalia, the hamster said.

"Then, once we're done with them, we go on to taking over the world!" Artemis, the meerkat said.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!!" Hecate, the chipmunk said.

"I have a question," a chinchilla said.

"What?" Artemis, the meerkat asked.

"What will we do after we take over the world?" the chinchilla asked.

"We will, um, we will, what will we do after we take over the world?" Thalia, the hamster asked.

"We will rule the world," Luna, the mutant said.

"YAY!" all the animals in the army yelled.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure that's going to be fun and all, but what will we do besides that?" the same chinchilla asked.

"Um, we will, gather up all the human vampires, and torture them with febreze and kitty cats!" Hecate, the chipmunk said.

"That works for me," the chinchilla said.

"YAY!" all the vampire animals yelled again.

Everything was silent for a while. Or as some like to phrase it, an awkward silence occurred.

"Well, I guess that's it," Artemis, the meerkat said.

"I guess we should attack the Cullen's now," Hecate, the chipmunk said.

"Yeah," Thalia, the hamster said.

"Charge?" Artemis, the meerkat asked the others.

"No," Luna, the mutant said. "ATTACK!"

All the vampire animals ran out of the forest and to the Cullen house. They burst through the doors and knocked Edward to the ground.

Then, they all divided up into four different groups. Thalia, the hamster's group went after Jasper and Emmet, Artemis, the meerkat's group went after Edward and Rosalie. Hecate, the chipmunk's group went after Esme, Alice and Carlisle. Then, the last group, which was Luna, the mutant's group, went all around the house and pulled things off shelves, broke dishes from the cabinets and trashed the entire house.

When all the different groups were done tying vampire humans, spraying them with Febreze an trashing the house, it was time to leave.

But instead of all of them leaving through the front door, some of them scattered around the house and jumped through walls and windows and ran back to the forest.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!!" all the animals yelled as they ran.

FEBREZE!!

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Hippi