Edward pushed out the piano bench slightly and cracked the knuckles of his toes. In addition to being Eddie the Flipper-Armed Man, he was also the resident musician. He played piano with his feet and blew the harmonica as the other members of his "family" worked the crowd and displayed their talents. Times were tight, and in order to stay afloat economically, rather than hire more talent in the show, they each had to multitask. In addition to playing swami, Alice booked their travel arrangements and designed everyone's wardrobes. Emmett was the security guard. Rosalie did publicity and prepared the food. Carlisle handled the money and served as barker and ringleader. His wife Esme, a three foot midget with a wooden leg, juggled and sang in between the acts.
Emmett took his place behind the curtain. Everyone sat in a row of chairs off to the side until it was their time to perform. Edward could hear him talking to Rosalie.
"So what's Jasper's moniker these days? Is he still 'Beelzebub's Burned Bitch'? No, wait, is it Tattooed Tommy? I can't keep track. Why can't he pick one fucking name and stick with it?"
"He's been The Devil's Reject since Seattle. I think this name's going to stick. He certainly acts like a reject."
"Rosie, be nice. He's had a fucked up life."
"Maybe if he laid off the drugs and stopped hurting himself it wouldn't seem so bad. And those damn fake eyes freak me the fuck out."
Rosalie used to like the carnival life with Emmett, but lately it just wasn't the same. People seemed meaner, and they all had to work harder to earn less money. Plus, wearing facial hair every day really hurt her self esteem. While she wouldn't trade her life with Emmett, she did wish that she would finally get pregnant so they could leave the carnival circuit and settle down. She wanted to start her own family and just be regular people with regular lives. Doing burlesque in a fake beard in a muddy field was not where Rosalie hoped to end up as a twenty-five year old.
"Everybody ready?" Esme limped into the tent. She wore short pink daisy duke shorts to show off her leg and carried three small bowling pins in her hands. "Carlisle's got a crowd ready."
Rosalie groaned from the other side of the curtain. "I can't wait to leave this shitty town. Between the rain and the humidity, my hair is a frizzy mess. And if one more guy asks to see my grizzly bush I'm going to stab somebody in the throat. How many more days do we have left in Forks?"
"Three," Alice answered. She whispered to Jasper and pulled him with her behind the stage.
Alice started the show with predictions and card tricks, but Jasper was the main attraction. He used to swallow swords until an accident in Phoenix nearly severed his vocal chords. A fire breathing mishap followed, burning his face and his prized gold lamé jacket. These days he centered his act around horrific displays of self mutilation and contorting his body like a cheaper version of Jim Rose's Circus. The grand finale was a bloody mess of nipple weights, six inch spikes through the skin on his back and horking up bits of broken glass. Most of the crowd left the show in tears or disgust, but Carlisle never gave anyone a refund. They wanted a show and they got one.
"Alright then," Esme urged everyone to take their places. "Start playing, Edward and I'll lead 'em in."
Edward banged out a jaunty version of "Send In the Clowns" with his toes as Esme pulled back the front door flap. A line of people filed in and sat in the rows of folding chairs in front of the stage. Only half of the seats were occupied when Carlisle started to close the tent flap. A man and woman tumbled in at the last moment. The dark skinned man with long black hair hushed the woman. She frowned at the scene in front of her and turned to leave. He pulled her back, paying Carlisle's outstretched hand and tugging her into one of the back seats.
"Bella, just relax. I wanna see this show," the man whispered.
"Jacob, why are we here? These things are offensive and I want to leave. It's not right to make fun of people like this."
"It's not like we're poking 'em with a stick. They're earning a living. I think working in a carnival would be awesome."
A giant man in the front twisted his head toward the back. "Shhhh!" he hissed.
"Sure, sure," Jacob said, waving an apology and pretending to turn a key in front of his closed lips.
Bella crossed her arms over her chest and sunk down in her chair.
Edward craned his neck to see the woman's face, but a curtain of brown hair covered her from his gaze. Something about her drew his attention, but he tried to focus on his role in the show instead.
Carlisle stepped toward the front and leapt on stage.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Dr. Carlisle Cullen's Amazing Traveling Freak Show! I have gathered some spellbinding acts for you today to shock and amaze you, to fill you with awe and fear! This evening you will witness spectacular feats of superhuman strength, the exotic dance of a hirsute beauty, the limits of physical pain and the giant melodies of a tiny woman. But before we bring out our first performer, give a warm round of applause to Eddie the Amazing Flipper-Armed Man! He can play better with his feet than pianists with twelve fingers!" Carlisle pointed to Edward, smiling as his toes danced across the keys.
The audience clapped half-heartedly. Jacob grinned widely from the back and hooted enthusiastically.
Bella rolled her eyes and sunk even lower in the folding chair.
"First up is a woman with magnificent powers! She can not only read minds, communicate with the dead, but also foresee the future! Let's welcome Alice, The Shortest Fortune Teller in the World!"
Carlisle jumped to the side as Alice appeared on the stage in a poof of sparkly smoke. She'd perfected the combination of baby powder, flour and glitter the previous year, even though it did get stuck in her nose after three shows a night.
"The universe speaks to me, imparting me with wisdom of the future! I will give you grand predictions of what will come to pass. What? What is that, spirits?" Alice raised both of her arms to the ceiling. "What is your message? Oh, ladies and gentlemen, tonight the spirits are calling forth, urging me to contact someone in this room. They have an important message that must be shared before it is too late." She closed her eyes and tried to think of something believable to say. "Is there anyone in the audience with a name that starts with a J? I'm hearing a spirit asking for someone…Ja…Jac…Jeh….?" Alice prompted the audience, hoping for a sucker to speak up.
"Oh, my name starts with a J!" Jacob sat up straighter.
"What is your name, sir?"
"Jacob!" He stared at Alice, excited that she picked him to participate.
"Jacob…Jacob, yes that's right. I hear a dire warning for you, Jacob. The spirits are telling me that you should be careful with your money. You will lose a great deal of money because…let me see here…because of car trouble. Does any of this make sense to you?"
"Um, maybe," Jacob squinted as he thought. "I just fixed my car and she's running okay at the moment."
"The spirits must be telling me the recent past then. Oh, great ghosts, what is your message for Jacob?" Alice swayed on the stage, scrunching her face up in concentration. Fuck, she thought, why didn't I say love problems instead of money? "They are saying to stay away from alcohol tonight. An accident will befall you if you drink and drive." Jesus, how lame, she scoffed. I should just stick to the card tricks.
"Okay," Jacob frowned. "I guess I won't buy that beer after all."
Bella snorted in response.
"Wait!" Alice slapped her forehead. "Wait, there is another message." She bent at the waist, moaning lightly. "You there, in the back next to Jacob," she shouted, pinching her eyes shut.
Bella's scowled, blushing a bright red at the crowd's attention.
"You will meet a mysterious stranger! Don't be hasty, foolish girl!! Appearances can be deceiving, but you may find love if you look past the surface."
With that, Alice fainted and dropped to the ground.