A Midsummer Night's Dream

By RenzokukenZ

Vincent couldn't believe what was happening right now.

He was in the Seventh Heaven enjoying a nice glass of alcohol when it happened.

It…being a donkey standing on two legs and wearing a suit.

And it took a seat next to the caped gunman.

And he still couldn't believe what was happening even after he pinched himself with his claw.

At first Vincent thought he drank too much that he was hallucinating, and he really began believing that when noticed that he was alone save for the donkey man. Even the bartender, which Vincent didn't remember if it was Tifa or not, wasn't there.

It was just him and the ass.

"So Vincent, ever smoked a cigar?"

Said gunman jumped from his stool when he heard the donkey talk, human hands holding a cigar and lighter. He lit it, took a hearty puff through donkey lips, and let the smoke come out the long nostrils. Calming himself, Vincent took back his seat and merely stared at the creature next to him.

"No, can't say that I have."

"Oh you really have to try it. It really sooths you after a hard day's work. Relieves stress. Especially after you killed someone." An eye from the donkey lazily aimed itself to the red-eyed crusader, as if piercing into his soul and unfolding the darkness that it is shrouded within. "Still can't say?"

Involuntary, Vincent's hands grabbed the cigar the donkey man willingly offered and placed it on his lips. Before he could smoke it, a loud crashing sound came from behind him and he turned to see what it was.

The cigar fell to the ground and again he pinched himself.

There in front of him was an UFO. A very basic design, the clichéd 'flying saucer' model. But what troubled Vincent the most was that he was now in some kind of field. The bar was gone, and so was the donkey man. Suddenly the UFO opened from on top and out came…

A rabbit.

With a gun.

"Howdy! I'm the Easter Bunny! I was looking for that punk bitch Santa Clause when my ship crashed. Do you know where I'm at?"

Vincent just stood there and looked at the harmless rabbit holding an automatic weapon. "Uh, to be honest I don't know where I am either. May I ask why you are after this "Santa Clause" and why you are holding a gun?"

"Well, the gun is a present from Santa, but it's not the one I wanted! So I'm gonna find him and kill him with it!" the rabbit shouted out a stupidly childish giggle that even Vincent raise an eyebrow. "Dying by your own mistake! What a way to go huh?"

"…Yeah. It is."

"Oh if you don't mind, I'm going to shoot you to see if the gun still works."

Before Vincent could understand what the rabbit was saying, a loud bang was heard and he was on the floor, a giant wound on his chest purging out blood like a fountain.

While gasping for air, the dying gunman noticed a shadow near the rabbit as it was given a cigar. The image was fuzzy, but he was able to see a donkey's head.

"I told you they're good after you killed someone."

xxx

Vincent rose from his bed sweating and breathing hard. His hand patted his chest and suspected a giant hole. To his surprise, nothing.

"It was just a dream." He said to himself. "It was all a dream. Summer heat and lots of beer does that to you."

He laid back down and went back to sleep, this time in a more tranquil manner. It's surprising he didn't notice the cigar on the table next to his bed.

Or the used gun next to it.