Night of the Living Toys

By RenzokukenZ

Cid was happy for three reasons.

One, after a long time he and Shera were going out on a romantic date.

Two, his new ship Lightyear was complete.

And three, he finally got a Fuzz Wightnear action figure, complete with his own little ship.

"Cid, honey, are you ready?" Shera lightly tapped the door of her bedroom, where Cid was currently using to dress. "You better not be playing with that damn toy of yours!"

"What do you take me for, a fucking child?" Cid shouted from the other side of the door. "I'm just putting on the finishing touches. I'll be out in a few seconds." In reality, he was already done, and was spending his few remaining seconds putting Fuzz in a variety of hero poses. "Alright, Fuzz. You're the man of the house now. Take care of it, and take good care of my ship."

"Oh for crying out loud, it's a freaking toy! How can it take care of anything?" Cid jumped when he noticed Shera standing behind him with glaring eyes. Yeah, she was mad.

"Heheh, right. Ok let's go."

They exited the house and drove off to their designated restaurant, leaving behind an empty and quiet house. The Fuzz figure still stood in his pose, a basic salute, standing tall in his space suit.

Until he blinked and began scanning the room. He then walked to the end of the table where he stood, and flipped some kind of component on his arm, reminiscent to that of a space communicator.

"Mission log #5016752: I'm being held captive by extraterrestrial giants in an uncharted planet. I've been able to identify the beings as a bossy woman and a crude old man, and based on this identification, it can be concluded that there are no signs of intelligent life on this planet."

"Hi!"

Fuzz fell back at the sudden appearance of another being with him. From what he could tell, it was another toy, a woman with long brunette hair and, according to him, two perfectly shaped moons in still orbit.

"Wow, you look like you just discovered a new solar system or something. Are you ok?"

Fuzz quickly shook off the stupid face and stood; only to find out that his face only reached the woman figure's 'moons'.

"Pardon my rudeness. My name is Fuzz Wightnear, a space pilot. I'm being held captive by two aliens. Are you also a captive?"

"No." the woman figure laughed. "I'm a Tifa action figure from under Cid's bed. Well, now that I think about it, I guess I am a captive. You don't want to know the sick things he would do with me. It involves that damn 'Barbie Girl' song though. It said on my box 'Not as squeezable as the real thing.' But it doesn't matter to him!"

At this time, Fuzz is wiping his nose from a massive nosebleed and this made Tifa doll laugh some more. "I believe that some of that was highly classified information. So do you know a way out of this sick and twisted world?"

Tifa doll jumped off the table and onto the floor in such an elegant form that even the real, squeezable Tifa would be impressed. "Just follow me. You'll be out of here in no time, space man!"

Fuzz followed her all the way to the back door, which was locked by a thick bolt. They climbed up a chair and stack of books but to no avail. The bolt was too heavy.

"Now what are we gonna do?"

"Step aside! I'll use my laser to blow it to titanium carbonic scrap!"

Fuzz went back to the floor and raised his right hand, his gauntlet laser aimed at the bolt.

"But Fuzz, you're a toy! You really think you have a real-"

Fuzz pushed the button above his laser, and a powerful beam escaped, blowing up not only the bolt but the whole door as well.

"…laser?"

"Whoa! I knew I had it fully charged when I left but wow!"

Tifa doll went next to Fuzz and began searching around him, making him feel a bit weird. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"Checking to see where you are from. Ah, here it is."

Inside his communicator read the letters 'Made in Shinra Department of Weapons Development.'

"Well that explains that. Anywho, you're free. Have fun in the outside world!"

"Wait, you're not coming?"

"I have to stay. I'm a toy after all." She lifted up her shirt to reveal her stomach, the words 'Made in Seventh Heaven' showing. "Plus I've been a toy for so long that I don't know how to change."

"I'll help you." Fuzz grabbed Tifa doll's hands and looked into her ruby drawn eyes. "With me beside you, you'll make one hell of space pilot. Now come on! We'll use that ship outside to escape!"

With that, both toys ran towards the Lightyear, hand in hand.

xxx

"I can't believe we got kicked out of dinner. Thanks a lot, Cid!"

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm the jealous type! What was I supposed to do? Let the waiter drool all over your breasts all night? Like hell!"

"Whatever, Cid. Just take us-hey, isn't that your ship?"

"Hm?" Cid stopped the car and looked out the window only to see his ship rising into the night sky. "What the fuck!? My ship! My baby! Who the hell would take it?!"

Inside the cockpit, Fuzz casually held the controls with the help of his first mate Tifa. Through the visor of the ship, he was able to see their former prison that was the house, and the owner jumping up and down while yelling obscenities all through the night. The Lightyear was now fully in the sky and it sped off to the distant stars.

"So where to, Captain?" Tifa doll asked, resting beside the captain himself.

"How about…" He rose up and struck a fabulous hero pose. "To infinity…AND BEYOND!!"