A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated for ages . I seriously haven't had chance. First it was some crazy college assignment I had to rush finish, then I had to sort out my Gin cosplay for the convention I went to [London May Expo], half term week I had my boyfriend round and then I was at a WorldVII rehearsal [WorldVII is a Final Fantasy VII fan film in the works, if you're interested, ask!]. Not to mention a rush of end-of-year college work XD
Here are some photos from Expo of myself and my Kira [O. Forgetful .O, on fan fiction] and my Aizen [my boyfriend]. Remove the gaps when you copy and paste the links into your browser~!
http:// ladywhitetiger . deviantart . com/art/Division-3-Gin-and-Kira-124550385
http:// ladywhitetiger . deviantart . com/art/Kira-s-Revenge-XD-124550580
http:// ladywhitetiger . deviantart . com/art/Traitors-in-Love-124550922
http:// ladywhitetiger . deviantart . com/art/Squad-3-Bleach-Photoshoot-124551363
As you can see, I was the only Captain Gin :P I prefer Captain Gin to Hueco Mundo Gin :]
I also broke up with said boyfriend [so he's my ex now I guess], so as well as my Gin muse and I being quite upset, my Aizen muse has completely disappeared, and seeing Aizen/Gin pictures upsets me… not good when writing a fic which contains Aizen/Gin… we're still friends so hopefully Aizen-muse will turn up again soon XD
But anyway, I shall stop babbling. Here's the story!
Chapter 5 - It Only Hurts When Your Eyes Are Open
The entire day for Izuru was spent training with Ikkaku, refusing to stop for anything; not the rain from the sky or the pain in his muscles. His pure determination kept his adrenaline up, and only when Kenpachi intervened did he stop.
"Kira, you can stop now. Come back tomorrow." The captain growled. He clearly wasn't happy with the lack of action he himself was getting, and irritatedly shooed the lieutenants from the training grounds. As impatient as he was, he couldn't let the blonde kill himself from exhaustion, after all.
Izuru nodded and withdrew his blade, before tiredly bowing to his tutor. "Thank you so much for teaching me. I will rest up and be ready to fight again tomorrow." He said, resolute despite his soft voice. Wearily he began the journey back to his vice-captain quarters.
He hadn't felt so calm in so long. Fighting Ikkaku all day had helped to clear his head and make some decisions; he was going to apologise to Shuuhei. He was going to look after his division as best as he could. He was going to try his best to replace Gin and become a good Captain to Division 3. And, of course, the hardest thing of all - he was going to move on from Gin, and finally take up his life and duties.
Even the post-battle calm couldn't quash the surprise he felt on finding Shuuhei sitting on his bed when he entered his quarters. The tattooed man looked up when he entered, rising as the blonde walked towards him.
"Kira-kun… where have you been?" he asked. The worry in his voice was poorly hidden.
"Training with Division 11 to get stronger. Why? You haven't been waiting for me all day have you?"
Shuuhei's cheeks went a little pink. "… I just wanted to apologise for what I said this morning."
"Hisagi-san, I-"
"No Kira-kun, hear me out!" Shuuhei cut in determinedly.
Izuru gulped and nodded. He realised that it'd probably be better not to piss Shuuhei off any further.
"What I said… it was out of order. I guess I'm starting to feel the stress and strain of having the responsibilities of both a Captain and Vice Captain. I started to blame Tousen-san for it, and I admit I couldn't understand why you still loved Gin-sama. Plus…" he shuffled his feet nervously, and murmured the next part almost inaudibly. "… I'm jealous. I'm the one helping you pick up the pieces, to help you. But you still want to go after the one that hurt you."
Izuru just looked at him speechless. Shuuhei… liked him? Oh.
That explained a lot. It also him feel uneasy. As much as he appreciated the help and attention from the man who was also struggling to cope from the loss of his Captain, Izuru didn't want to give up on Gin yet. He just couldn't, not after all he'd been through!
"Hisagi-san… it's probably better if we… keep ourselves to ourselves, you know?" He said softly. Shuuhei stared at him.
"B-but Kira-kun-"
"No buts Hisagi-san." Izuru ordered quietly, face stern and determined. "We both have huge responsibilities now we no longer have Captains. Having a relationship wouldn't be the best thing to do at this point."
Shuuhei looked at the floor, and after a moment of indecision walked silently towards the door. He stood in the doorway, one hand on the frame, refusing to look back.
"Alright Izuru-san. I understand what you're saying. From now on we will only have a professional relationship. I won't bother you any more, I promise. Good luck with your training." He croaked, almost robotically, before disappearing completely.
As soon as Shuuhei's footsteps were out of his hearing range, Kira fell face first onto his bed and buried his blonde head into the thin pillow. He felt like an idiot. He had just shot the one person who loved him and wanted to help down in flames.
Why had he done that? Didn't Gin do exactly the same thing to him?
Fear struck Kira like a Quincy arrow. What if he was turning into Gin? Was he missing the man so much that he was going to morph into another terrifying, traitor Captain?
Misery replaced the fear. Perhaps that was indeed his fate. He didn't like it one bit, but if that was his future, he accepted it with open arms.
He rolled over and stared at the ceiling, tears stinging his eyes. "No, I can't cry any more. I've got to smile. Smile and be strong for my division."
Icy eyes then shut, and he fell asleep with a strained, but firm, smile on his face.
* * * *
The moon shone through a single window to pool on the floor. Ichimaru Gin had absolutely no idea how long he had been in the room behind the throne room. His disappearance probably held no interest for the Arrancar; none of them liked him anyway. And Aizen had probably spun some kind of lie to Tousen about sending him on an errand…
He chuckled to himself. The man was cunning, certainly. And it was one of the things Gin loved about Aizen, amongst many other things. But he couldn't help feeling jealous of the other two men. Most or all of the Arrancar liked them… Gin felt rather alone without someone to talk to, and since Luppi had been demoted he had been even lonelier. He often wished for Izuru to come and rescue him, but then he remembered why he was there, and scolded himself for being so selfish.
As he lay there, bathing his skinny body in the tiny amount of moonlight, he heard faint footsteps approaching the room. He tried to sit up but couldn't find the energy; Aizen had used him far too much in the past few days, and he simply had none left. He just smiled wider at the thought.
But as Aizen came through the door, he didn't go on the attack. Instead he placed a tray of food on the floor beside the weakened Gin, and propped him against the wall. With surprising gentleness he took the silver-haired man's chin, spooning the meal into the mouth of his weakened subordinate.
"You will be going on an errand for me soon, Ichimaru." He said finally, letting the spoon clatter into the empty bowl.
Gin's eyes traced over the soft-yet-stoic features of his lover and leader. The set of his broad shoulders told him it was a serious mission, and the glint in steely eyes gave away that it was one none of the Espada should know about. Perhaps even Tousen was uninformed.
It must be dangerous… or even suicidal. He inwardly smirked.
"You will be returning to Soul Society, to gather some papers about the Kings Key I left behind. No doubt they will be heavily guarded and in evidence around the 12th Division sector, but I absolutely cannot have them working out what we're doing right now," he explained, pushing the hair out of Gin's hair and stroking his bony cheek.
Gin nodded. "I'm ready when you are, Aizen-sama…" He whispered softly. Aizen rewarded him with a small kiss.
"Then you have a month to prepare. I hear your old vice-captain is training up to impress you… perhaps it will be interesting for you to fight him…" He smirked, standing up and leaving the room. The door swung open, showing Gin a glimpse of freedom. But by then, even the scent of liberty couldn't stir the fox into movement.
The smile had disappeared from his face. He knew exactly what Aizen wanted, and it wasn't the papers.
He wanted Gin to show more of the undying loyalty the man pledged to him, but this was the extreme. He wanted Gin to fight, and more than likely destroy, his old vice-captain. His Kira. Now was the time to make that crucial choice that he had hesitated over for so long; serving Aizen as he had pledged himself to do for the remainder of his life, or saving the only man that loved him.
What a cruel choice indeed.
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A/N: Gosh, why is my Aizen muse such a sadistic bastard? XD I have a few mild ideas, but hey ho…
Thanks for reading, please R&R if you enjoyed it! And thanks to O. Forgetful .O for BETA-ing for me~! Love you all, and sorry for the long delay in updating T.T