Author's 'post it' note: Yay an update!!! More info at the end of the chapter. Okay, now go read!

Disclaimer: With or without clothes the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

ENJOY!

CHAPTER ONE: I Ate Human Food

The evening after the Volturi stand-off we all assembled at the dining room table.

All of our new friends had left, and the big white house felt kind of empty. But Alice and Jasper were back and we were safe, so I was happy.

I sat on Rosalie's lap, putting my hand over her hand; I told her all about my day with Jacob.

Despite it being the middle of winter, the sun had decided to come out for a little bit. Everyone had to stay inside, but when Jacob came over after school he took me to the beach.

The air had a nice breeze; it felt like I didn't even really need a jacket. But Mommy and Alice had insisted so I stood on the beach in my pink coat with the fur trim on the hood, practically breaking a sweat.

Jacob and I even went swimming! Well, really Jacob showed me how to swim. I got water up my nose when I put my face in and didn't go deeper than my ankles after that. I can't wait to learn, though! Jacob made it look so easy.

It hadn't really snowed, like it did up in the mountain, so mostly the beach was kind of muddy. But you could see all the pebbles, glistening in their tiny pools of melting ice. I brought home a bunch in my favorite colors, and Alice told me she could make me something with them, even though she was kind of mad I'd ruined my nice winter jacket.

"Don't worry about the jacket, Alice will get over it when she sees what an an excellent swimmer you'll be, Nessie," Rosalie said pulling me close.

Everyone was nearly seated and there was a lot of talking. I was kind of confused.

Grandpa was still at the hospital and Grandma was in her office and no one would tell me why we were sitting here so I assumed as soon as the entire family was together whatever it was wouldn't be too bad.

I hopped off Rosalie's lap, crawling under the table to clamber onto Daddy's lap; he hugged me comfortingly, smiling.

Mommy leaned in close and gave me a kiss. I placed my palm on Mommy's cheek, my fear getting the better of me.

She chuckled at my question. "Don't worry we're not all sitting here to force you to eat human food, Nessie."

I sighed with relief. And a low chuckle erupted around the table. Then everyone resumed their conversations. I tried to understand, exactly what was going on.

"I'm thinking about taking a health course when we go back," Jasper said leaning toward Emmett conspiratorially.

Emmett shrugged, "I think high school does a good enough job with health. You get the basics."

Jasper eyed me closely for a moment and then started to whisper, "Not a regular health class. You know the fun kind!"

And then his voice got really low and I couldn't hear what he said even though it made me want to hear him more. It sounded like he said something about mex or tex, which completely brought back my fears of being fed human food!

Emmett started laughing. "Oooh! So is there a lab?" his laughed boomed just then as he nudged Jasper and winked.

This comment made me sure I was the subject of Jasper and Emmett's whispering. Was I some sort of science project? What was so funny about a lab? And what did that have to do with Jasper's health class? The good news was I wasn't confused anymore; I was scared. I was about to swear off ever reading scary stories like Mary Shelley's Frankenstein again, but then Grandpa and Grandma were finally joining us and surely, whatever the reason for our assemblage this evening would finally be addressed. Please don't let it be about me! It always seemed to be about me, lately!

I clenched my teeth holding my jaw tightly shut. They would have to get the Jaws of Life to get me to eat human food. The thing that scared me is they had just that in Emmett.

"Bella, thank you so much for making the last two years one of the most exciting ever!" Emmett said, halting every other conversation.

"Oh yeah it was a picnic," Mommy deadpanned.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well you were born, that was exciting!" Rosalie beamed.

"For you maybe," I said folding my arms.

The entire house shook with the laughter that exploded around the table. I didn't think it was funny. In fact, there was something I really wanted to ask Daddy. So over the din I said, "Daddy, why didn't you like me?"

If the laughter was explosive the silence that followed my question was implosive. It felt like the entire dinning room would dissolve into nothingness. Suddenly I was filled with an extreme sense of calm and I knew Jasper was easing the anxiety.

Emmett leaned toward Rosalie and whispered, "This is why teenagers shouldn't have children!"

"EMMETT!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and smacked Emmett's arm, "Why would you say that?!"

"In front of Nessie!?" Mommy hissed through her teeth, slamming her fist into the table.

"Bella, please don't break this table. I know you're upset, but—"

I tugged on Daddy's shirt, "You didn't answer the question!"

Everyone stared at me and Daddy again.

Mommy put her hand on my arm. "Oh Nessie, Daddy didn't like me when we first met either."

Daddy held me close, "And I love you more than my own life."

Mommy put her hand on her hip feigning infuriation, "Oh really? Because I thought I was your life?"

Then Mommy leaned in and kissed Daddy on the lips.

"Well that hardly makes sense since you're both dead," Emmett smirked.

I beamed. "Want to make it up to me?"

"You're a greedy little monster," Daddy chuckled, "but how can I make it up to you?"

"Can I have a puppy?"

"You already have Jacob, sweetie," Rosalie stated matter-of-factly.

I pouted, "Jacob is not a puppy!"

"No, you can't have a puppy," Grandma said, her gaze apologetic.

"Why not?" I pleaded, tears welling in my eyes.

"Now, Nessie! Being manipulative won't get you anything!" Daddy chastised.

"Tell that to Jasper," Alice muttered.

Grandpa stood up just then, "We haven't even begun to discuss the reason we're all sitting here and Nessie should get to sleep soon, so let's get started."

I curled up in Daddy's lap prepared to doze off. Grandpa hesitated a moment then said, "Nessie, I know the first time you tried formula it didn't work. But I really think we should try human food again."

I cracked my eyelids open, slightly staring at Grandpa suspiciously.

"Mommy, you promised!" I implored.

"I know, Nessie but you asked for a puppy." Mommy said, sympathetically.

"What do they have to do with each other?!" I sobbed, unable to control my tears.

Daddy wiped a tear sliding down my cheek. "I'll explain tomorrow," he said gently.

Grandpa grinned at me. Then in the kindest voice, ever he said, "So Nessie, how about some human food tomorrow?"

I buried my face in Daddy's shirt, unable to say no and afraid to face the fact that if I didn't I would have to eat human food.

...They fed me cereal the next morning. I cried the whole time.

The milk tasted thick and acrid. The cereal had a treacly flavor, which was better but not by much.

What made the whole experience even more traumatic was after the first spoonful I made a face and then Daddy explained that this was exactly why I couldn't have a puppy.

Didn't make me like the cereal any better, but I never made a face as I ate the rest. It was horrifying to realize I would rather eat a puppy than cereal!

Having to eat human food was dreadful! But it made me wary of whatever it was I would have to endure next…

Author's Note: A few things...First just to clear the air, Jasper and Emmett are talking about college and Jasper is considering taking a sex class...Yes they offer them, no there is no lab...Hence Emmett's joke! Now you get it?! lol! Actually there's a story behind that, but basically that joke is something I've actually said and recently I realized it's a prefect line for Emmett in a fic! So viola! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Sit tight, eventually the story will get to Emmett naked. Poor Nessie still has more truama to endure before we get there...Wonder what it's going to be? Hmmm...