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Looking Back

Bella P.O.V

I hate that everything is so vivid, I hate that it seems like yesterday, I hate that the pain won't go away, I hate that the longing doesn't ease with time, I don't want to remember.

"Breakfast, Dad!" I shouted into the Living Room. I heard the couch springs groan as my father heaved himself of the couch. I smiled as he walked through the door and sat with an enthusiastic and determined expression to face the mountains of bacon and egg I had placed in front of him. I sat with my bowl of cereal and began to eat.

"I'm at the hospital today Bells, I want you to come with me."
"Why?" I asked. Charlie never wanted me to go to work with him.
"There's been a murder, I want you to stay with me until I know a bit more of what's gone on."
Charlie said with a serious look on his face.
"It's really serious then?" I asked. I could feel a frown forming on my face.
"Very."

I was wandering through the hospital, not really concentrating. The image of the dead body in my mind, refusing to budge. I had never seen anything so horrific. I'm not going to describe it, I don't want to see it again. I stumbled a few times, naturally, until a pair of unnaturally cold arms caught me.
I looked up into a pair of liquid gold eyes, staring kindly at me.
"Dr. Cullen?"
"Bella. Let me take you to your father. He's wondering where you are… As are everybody else really." He added onto the end, with an amused, but tolerant expression. It was quite clear I was getting in the way.

"Bella!" Charlie cried as I came into sight. I had worried him, he never meant for me to see the body.
"Hey, Dad." I said looking at the floor.
"Carlisle has been kind enough to allow you to go to his house, until I'm done here. That way, I know your safe and you're not getting in the way." Charlie laughed. I looked up at him as if he were mad. The Cullen's place?! Wow. Charlie grabbed me into a big hug. I laughed.
"Dad, you take these cases to heart too much. Nothings going to happen to me!" I laughed.
"I know, Bella, it's just it pushes things into perspective a little. I just feel that something bad is going to happen." I sighed.
"See you later Dad."
"Bye Bells." I turned to follow Carlisle.

"Come Bella, Edward will take you to my house until your Dad has finished here." The good looking Dr. Cullen, who's name I now knew was Carlisle said as he guided me to the front entrance, it was obvious that my constant tripping up and the fact I cant sit still for less that five minutes was annoying just about everybody.

Before we had stopped walking I turned around and gave Charlie a warm-reassuring smile, to which he returned. Just as I followed out to the entrance I saw a silver Volvo come speeding around the corner and stop at the steps, Oh god. I thought, If my own clumsiness doesn't kill me, I'll turn into a Volvo pretzel on the way to the Cullen's house! Just before I turned around to head back into the hospital he stepped out. Edward Cullen, Carlisle's son stepped out the Volvo, and if I thought his dad was a God then he must be the God of God's, his hair a messy mess of bronze mess and his face smiling a crooked smile.

"Edward, this is Bella, Bella this is Edward, he's going to take you to our house until your dad has finished up" Carlisle said.

"Hello" Edward said shyly with a hint of frustration on his face.

Play it cool, Play it cool Bella,

"Ummmm, Hi" I blushed and put my hand out and took a few steps forward in an attempt to shake his hand, but me being me obviously tripped over my own feet only to be caught by Edward.

He let out a little laugh and headed to the car,

"I'll see you at home" He called to Carlisle; I turned around and saw Carlisle nod.

So lying on my bed crying over some of the last moments I had with my Dad, Charlie, its no wonder I got a wave of déjà vu, my little breakdown was interrupted by a knock on the door, I grabbed a tissue from the box that had very kindly been placed on my bedside table, dried my eyes then opened the door. Edward was standing at the door looking at me with his nose wrinkled like I smelled; I sniffed my hair – it smelt like strawberries.

"Bella –"He said before I interrupted:

"I don't want to hear it Edward, you've ignored me for days and now you come and act like nothings wrong" I rudely interrupted.

"If you would let me finish, I was going to say that I don't like you living here" He almost growled, another thing they did unusual, the growled at each other, not loud just not quiet enough for me to hear

"Well you've made that clear! And Rosalie!" I shouted downstairs.

"What the hell have I done wrong? If you want me to go I'LL GO!" I yelled, with tears spilling down my cheeks.

I went to slam the door but his hand wouldn't let me, he held it open as I watched him struggle for words,

"Bella, I'm Sorry" He said apologetically

"YOU MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR OF WHAT YOU THINK OF ME BEING IN THIS HOUSE, EDWARD." I screamed and slammed the door.

I slumped down against the door and put my head in my hands and cried like I've never cried before. Nobody freaking wants me! Not even Renee, she asked Carlisle to look after me until they found a permanent job for Phil.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, not one pair but several then I heard shouting,

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT EDWARD" Alice yelled

"DUDE SHES AWESOME, you're such a fun-wrecker" Emmett boomed

"That was harsh Edward." I heard Rosalie say, what?! did Rosalie just stick up for me?

"Edward, let's go talk." I heard Carlisle say in a strict voice.

"Will she be okay?" I heard Esme ask Alice.

A knocks on the door and a few tears later I was on my bed when the door opened, Edward.

I didn't bother to say anything to make him feel anymore un-welcome,

He came and sat next to me on the bed and placed his hand on my leg,

"Bella let me explain why I haven't been very welcoming to you?" he asked in a sincere voice.

I didn't reply and I didn't look up, until I felt some cool hands pulling me up into a hug.

Edward was hugging me? He was comforting me? I had to hear this,

"Go on." I muttered in between tears.

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