Don't Own.
Here's a slightly longer chapter for you guys. I'm terrible at pacing myself, but I have two more finished chapters and I ended up editing this one sooner than I thought I would. But I guess it's better to post quickly rather than slowly.
…
"I still can't think of why Dave didn't show up?" Aaron was saying as they walked into the kitchen with the used dishes.
Penelope deposited hers in the sink, turned on the water and put in the stopper to begin washing them, she was trying to keep her mind off Dave since she was also worried about why he hadn't come, though she wasn't about to voice her concerns to Aaron.
"Penelope, you don't have to do that," Aaron said his hand landing on her upper arm "you already helped enough today."
Penelope pulled away from his touch and looked over her shoulder instinctively.
Aaron frowned but pulled his hand away as Derek walked into the kitchen with a few empty wine glasses.
"He's right Baby Girl," Derek said "you helped with the prep, I'm sure someone else can handle the clean-up."
"Would that someone be you Hot Stuff?" Penelope asked, easily falling back into her calm, flirtatious nature. Does the great profiler Derek Morgan even know how to wash dishes?"
"Aw Baby," Derek said "you wound me."
Penelope chuckled as Derek moved to take her spot. She turned to look at Aaron and only then noticed that he was gone. She looked outside and saw him making his way back to the table.
She deflated a bit at that, she hadn't meant to hurt Aaron. God it seemed like everything she did these days, hurt someone. She sighed and Derek turned to look at her, questioningly.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," Penelope said "just been a long day."
Morgan gave her a sympathetic look as the water in the sink finished filling. "Why don't you go back out and join the others? Then I can give you a ride home if you like."
Penelope smiled at him "Thanks," she said before heading back out into the yard. She sat down at the table across from Aaron but he barely glanced at her through the rest of their sitting.
She sat back and tried to enjoy the rest of the evening with her friends but found that she was no longer in the mood to talk and laugh with them.
…
Turning off the water Penelope leaned back and let out a long sigh as she relaxed into the warm bath water. Resting her head against the edge of the tub she closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind.
She had driven herself home early, feigning that she had a headache which wasn't exactly a lie; if she had stayed any longer she probably would have ended up with one.
Derek had tried to insist that he should drive her home but Penelope had been adamant that she could get herself home safely. She'd told him that she needed her car for the next day and it would be an inconvenience if she had to come back and get it.
He had argued that he could drive Ester and take her home, and then come back for his own car. It had taken nearly fifteen minutes of arguing with him before he allowed her to leave with the promise that she would text him when she got home to let him know she was okay.
She had done so when she walked in the door, before turning the phone to silent and heading to the kitchen. She had grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard, a bottle of white wine from her fridge, popped the cork and headed to her bedroom.
She'd poured a good helping of the wine into her glass, took a gulp then grabbed a book she had been reading and lay down on her bed.
Nursing her wine she did her best to concentrate on the novel but could barely get more than five pages in. Her mind kept drifting to earlier that day and the shadow she had thought she'd seen while Aaron had been fucking her against the counter. It had only been for a split second; she'd open her eyes and tensed when they had landed on a dark shape beyond the glass doors of the backyard. Then Aaron had bitten her neck causing her to automatically arch against him and when she had looked back the shadow had been gone.
She had tried to tell herself that her mind had just been playing tricks on her in her sexual hype, but then Dave hadn't shown up to the barbeque and her doubt returned.
Giving up she had thrown the book to the side and stood, deciding that a bath would be the best thing for her. She had grabbed the wine bottle and made her way to the bathroom, forgetting about the wine glass entirely.
Now as she lay soaking in the tub she found that she still had the same problem. She couldn't keep her thoughts from drifting.
They flashed between thoughts of Dave, her worry about him finding out and Aaron taking her forcefully on the island, and an all too familiar feeling returned to Penelope. "Crap," she swore in anger, she was getting aroused, again!
From the time Penelope had become sexually active at seventeen, she had found that she had a higher than average sex drive. She had a constant boyfriend, Teddy, for two years, and a regular sex life. They would hook up once every two weeks or so, whenever their schedules allowed.
Penelope liked sex, she didn't exactly crave it but she would never turn Teddy down when he wanted to.
Then Penelope's parents had died and her life seemed to spiral out of control. She'd actually lived quite a dangerous life; she had many partners and never really took the time to be 'safe' about it. It had taken a pregnancy scare and a few months later the FBI catching her hacking into their database, to set her straight again. She was lucky that she hadn't gotten any diseases and promised herself never to let herself get that bad again.
She'd been fine for a few years, dating occasionally but mostly keeping busy with work.
And then Battle…she tried not to let the team see but the experience had really shaken her. She had started dating Kevin and it was nice for a while but soon Penelope found that Kevin couldn't keep up with her sex drive.
It was a release for her, she was addicted. Anytime she would be feeling anxious with memories of her shooting, she would seek out comfort from him, but he wasn't doing it for her anymore.
That's when she had started a casual thing with Keagan, a member of her support group. It was wrong, she knew. No one in the group was supposed to get into relationships with each other, especially not a member and the group leader but Penelope hadn't been able to help herself.
Keagan had been a fairly new member, one of his friends had been the victim of a serial killer and he was coming to the group to try and get closure.
One night after a very emotional sharing circle, Penelope had ended the session early and ended up in the bathroom in tears. After being shot it had been hard to come back to the group but she had felt like she owed it to her members. However some nights triggered painful memories and Penelope had a hard time dealing with them.
She'd been splashing some water on her tear puffy face when the door had opened and Penelope had turned to see Keagan standing there.
Her first reaction had been fear, after all the years she had worked with the BAU. She had stared at him questioningly.
"I heard you crying," he answered before slowly stepping into the bathroom "are you okay?"
Penelope harshly wiped at her eyes "I'm fine," she's said hurriedly "and you shouldn't be in here."
She tried to move past him but the tall, sleek youth grabbed her hand and stopped her from running away. He was twenty-two, with baby blue eyes and blonde curly locks, practically a child but his look made her stop.
"You're obviously not fine," he'd said calmly and comfortingly "you spend every Wednesday night sitting down and listening to all our problems, why don't you let me listen to your problems tonight, maybe I can help you."
She'd told herself that it wasn't a good idea but in the end her desperate need to talk to someone had won out, and she'd let him in. He had ended up making her feel better, which only had part to do with the fact that he had pushed her up against the wall and given her what she really needed at the end of the night.
They had continued on with a type of 'Friends with Benefits' relationship and though Penelope felt extremely guilty about not only cheating on Kevin, but also about doing it with someone from her support group, Penelope couldn't make herself stop. Having a young stud as well as Kevin did wonders to keep her stated.
She should have been happy with the two of them. Should have been content with two skilled lovers, really what more could a girl want? But it hadn't ended there, after things with Doyle went down and the team had thought Emily was dead, Spencer had shown up at her apartment an absolute wreck.
She'd never planned to go down that road with the Boy Genius or anyone from the team for that matter but the night that Spencer had shown up had been emotional for both of them. They'd been sitting on her couch, drowning their sorrows and when Spencer had leaned into her, looking for comfort instead of pulling away like a good friend would have done, she had pulled him closer and kissed him hard.
They had fallen into bed together that night and Penelope had found that Spencer was practically a virgin. He'd been awkward and innocent; apparently he and JJ hadn't gone that far when they'd been dating.
She'd taken it upon herself to show him the ropes and given him a first time to remember.
It hadn't been a one-time thing though. A few weeks later he'd been back and they had carried on with their secret relationship.
Then Penelope had had three good men, with Keagan being the only one who knew about all three of them, he had ended up being her confident. He was her friend, and really the only one she seemed to be able to show her true self to.
Time seemed to go by quickly. Cases flew by, days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and then suddenly a year had gone by and Emily had come back to them. Penelope found that keeping three separate relationships, especially secret relationships, was a difficult task.
Everything seemed to go to hell when Kevin asked her to marry him. She made him feel like a fool when he finally asked and she had been reluctant. They'd ended up at her apartment that night, and had been in the middle of a heated argument when Penelope had broken down and told him about Keagan, though she was wise enough not to say anything about Spencer.
Of course Kevin hadn't taken it well. He had yelled at her for a good while calling her a slut and all manner of horrible things until Penelope's elderly neighbor had called to see if everything was alright or if she should call the police.
Kevin had stormed out after that and that had been the end of things between them.
The next week had been torture for Penelope. She felt horrible about how it had gone down with Kevin who she had genuinely cared for, but worst of all even with her relationship at an end because of her problem, she still had her urges and the team, Spencer included were on a case.
She went out with Keagan a few times that week but by the end of it she still felt deprived. When the jet had touched down after the team's case Penelope had given Spencer a call to see if he wanted to come over but he'd told her he thought he was coming down with something.
Penelope had been stir-crazy that night and after a few glasses of wine she had found herself outside of Dave's mansion.
He'd been surprised to see her but hadn't given much objection when she had practically jumped him.
Their relationship had gone much the same way as hers and Spencer's went, and she had continued to see him on a regular basis but her problem was only getting worse. Months later and Penelope had found herself with not three men but four, after she had kissed Aaron in her car.
She was a mess, and whatever was wrong with her was only getting worse but she had trouble admitting it. These days it seemed like she needed sex at least once in the day, if not more.
Penelope's hand itched to move down between her thighs but she jerked it away and pushed herself from the water. Her bath was not relaxing her in the way she'd hoped.
She got out of the bathtub and nearly tripped over her empty bottle of wine. She swore again before quickly toweling herself dry and then stepping up to stare at herself in the mirror.
She looked different. She couldn't exactly explain it but she didn't look like herself. She stared for a long time before fidgeting and rubbing herself against the cool porcelain of the sink, the itch between her legs was still there.
She growled and made herself stop. She needed to get control of herself; she had broken her promise and allowed herself to lose control again.
She thought about Aaron and her in his kitchen. She needed to get off, she needed her release. Penelope raised her hands to her face and screamed into them in frustration, there was something seriously wrong with her but she still couldn't stop her thoughts.
With all of her anger rising to the surface, Penelope let out another yell and slammed her fists down. Her left hand connected with the sink and she yelped in pain as her hand throbbed. She stared down at it with tears in her eyes, and hissed in pain when she tried to move it.
But even through the pain she still felt the terrible ache within her. Not being able to stop herself, or talk herself out of it, she fumbled for her phone that was sitting beside the sink and pressed number three on her speed dial.