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Jigsaw
I
sat just staring out of the window, tuning out the conversation. It
had been about 2 weeks since my big confrontation. We were in the
Volvo on the way to school. I was sat next to Emmett. He was so big;
I was squished right up the door. His booming voice filled the car
with irrelevant things. I rubbed my temples. I had woke up with a
terrible headache and it still hadn't gone away. Times like them I
wished for Charlie. He just left me be. I preferred to suffer in
silence. But no, the Cullen's can't do that.
"Are you
alright Bella?"
"Are you feeling ok Bella?"
"You don't
look so good Bella."
Like I care what they think! All they do is
lie. I looked away from the window, and caught Edwards glance in the
rear view mirror. His beautiful golden eyes were staring at me, the
soft butterscotch liquid made me dizzy. His eyes didn't look away
when I met his. I had a sarcastic comment to make at him, but I
forgot it. All of a sudden Alice froze and her eyes unfocused, as if
she was only there in body. Edward stiffened and his liquid eyes
solidified. There was a strange noise coming from his chest. Like a
roar, threatening to explode out of his chest. Alice's golden eyes
refocused, and then they stared at me in horror. I stared back. Was
there something I was missing? Obviously, but apparently Jasper,
Rosalie and Emmett were missing it too. Edward pulled into the school
parking lot just then. He abruptly turned the engine off, got out the
car and stormed off in the direction of the cafeteria. I couldn't
take this much longer. Everything was just building up and up inside
me. I had held it in too long. How would Edward feel if Carlisle
died, and everything in your life was turned upside down or
destroyed? If I wanted to go, I would go to therapy. Hell, I needed
it. I was sick of Edwards hostility, I was sick of being the centre
of sympathy, I was sick of Esme's affection for her children.
Everything was an unwanted reminder of how much of a mess I felt. It
was too much. It was the last straw. As the first tear I had let slip
in weeks rolled down my cheek I ran away. How pathetic am I? Running
away from my problems. But it's what I did, it was the only thing
that made sense, it was the only thing I wanted to do. I didn't
know where I was heading. I just ran. I heard Alice shout after me.
It didn't matter. There was a bus passing. I guess you could say
that was lucky, a bus going past at the exact time I needed it. I
tripped up the steps on the bus and threw some money in the direction
of the driver.
Turned out the bus was going
to La Push. Well that was okay I suppose. I liked the beach. That was
where I ended up anyway, strolling along the beach, in the pouring
rain. It was soothing in a way. The cold water dripping down my face,
soaking through my clothes, it was like washing away troubles. It
didn't though. Not completely anyway. I laughed without emotion at
the thought that I could like rain. I loved the sun. I loved the
blistering heat of Phoenix. And here I was on First Beach enjoying
the rain. A huge crack of thunder rippled through the sky. I
remembered when I was little, during my summers in Forks I used to be
scared of thunder. It seemed silly and harmless now.
"Bella!"
I heard a deep husky voice yell.
"Jacob!?" I replied in
shock.
"Hey, Bells." Jake said with a huge grin. I half-smiled
at him. Jacob was such a happy person. It was impossible not to like
him.
"What you been doing these days?" He asked me. He was the
first person who didn't ask me how I was feeling the first time
they saw me.
"Not much. Staying with the Cullen's, I can't
wait until I get to go back to my Mum."
Jacob seemed to agree
with me. I had forgotten about when he told me of the Cullen's
reputation on the reservation. This intrigued me.
"Hey, Jake,
you never did tell me why you all hate the Cullen's so much?"
Jake looked uncomfortable.
"I'm not supposed to say Bella."
"Please, Jake. I have right you know seeing as I live with
them." Jake grinned, but wrinkled his nose at the fact.
"We
have legends. Research Bella, I'm really sorry, but I can't say.
I'll give you a clue though. Try 'The Cold Ones'."
"Er...
Okay. Thanks Jacob." I said, with real gratitude.
"So, you
skipping school today Bells?"
"Looks like it doesn't it?"
I replied. I gave him a full grin. I think it was the first time I
had smiled with any emotion for a long time.
"Let's go for a
walk." Jacob said, with an answering grin at the same time as
grabbing my hand and pulling me along the beach. It was still pouring
with rain. We were both soaking, our hair stuck to our heads,
dangling past our shoulders in straggly strands. We chattered for a
long time, about school and friends, and everything in general
really. Jacob was so easy to talk to; I didn't feel this
comfortable with anyone else. We laughed and talked all day. I didn't
realise the rain stopping. We walked back to Jake's around
lunchtime. Billy was there. He didn't seem shocked at seeing me,
and didn't seem bothered that neither of us were at school.
"Well
isn't it nice to see you Bella? You haven't dropped by since it
happened, have you?" Billy's eyes were sad. I didn't realise
how close him and Dad were.
"No. It's been hard." Billy knew
was going through what I was, it was his best friend after all,
except his pain and hurt was probably on a smaller scale.
Jacob
was a quick sandwich maker. He came into the room yelling what was on
them. Whilst I was eating, I pondered what Jacob had told me, which
wasn't much, I had to admit. But it was a start for me to piece
this jigsaw together. After lunch I had Jacob drop me back at the
Cullen's. I knew that nobody would be there; Esme had gone to some
charity sport event, Carlisle was at the hospital, and, of course,
Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were at school. I said bye
to Jake, after deciding to get together again sometime and went
inside. I threw my bag by the door, kicked off my shoes and ran
upstairs in the direction on my bedroom. I wasn't concentrating and
tripped 3 times on my way. I got there eventually and grabbed the
laptop. I typed in "Quileute Legends: 'The Cold One.'"
I
could hear my heart beat in my ears. I clicked on one promising
sight. I noted all the stuff that sounded like or could be like the
Cullen's. Cold skin (obviously), pale, speed, strength. As I was
reading this the tiny things my subconscious had registered began to
register with my conscious as well. The way they never ate, the way
they were always awake. My breathing was uneven and fast. I couldn't
believe the legends I was reading. I mean blood drinkers?! There was
absolutely no way in hell that my dream was right. Could there be? I
was totally shocked. It wasn't logical, but it was the only thing
that fit. I had pieced together my jigsaw.
I heard the door slam
downstairs. If my heart was beating fast before, it was nothing
compared to now. I thought I was going to hyperventilate. For all I
knew, they could be keeping me here under false pretences, telling
Renee I was being looked after, and they drink my blood! Vampires? I
still wasn't sure. It fit. I'd go with it.
I walked slowly out
of my room and down the stairs. I was extremely proud of myself, as I
didn't trip once. I reached the bottom of the stairs and turned to
face the Living Room. Edward was sat in an armchair staring at me
with his beautiful golden eyes. His beautiful bronze hair was messy.
His pale skin was slightly flushed.
"Hi." He said, with
obvious coldness. It was strange. His tone of voice when he spoke to
me, never matched the warm, curious look in his eyes.
"Hello."
I replied. However I managed to match his tone I never could get it
right.
"Where are the others?" I carried on.
"They went
shopping or something."
"Oh." I didn't know why I cared. I
turned away.
"Bella?"
"Mm?"
"What have you been
doing today?" Like he cared.
"I hung out at La Push with Jacob
and Billy. Then I came back here and did some research on the
laptop." No matter how his eyes made me tell the truth at least I
could keep the worst from him. He looked down, I don't think he was
happy about my activities. For the first time, I wondered in the
feelings of the Quileute's was neutral with the Cullen's. My
curiosity was bubbling but I didn't know how to begin. I had a
feeling Edward knew I was building up to something big, yet he didn't
voice his thoughts either.
"Edward?" He looked up at me. I
was sure he half-smiled at me. He was dazzling. My heart beat faster,
and his face went out into a bug crooked grin. I melted inside, it
was the most gorgeous smile ever. He pulled back his grin and
composed his face. His eyes looked worried.
"Can I ask you
something?"
"Sure."
"Urmm... You know my research?" I
asked. He looked wary.
"Yes?"
" Well... err... something
Jake said at the beach before. He let slip a phrase 'The Cold
Ones-'" I paused, because at this point Edward's face
completely clouded over his fury. He glared at me, willing me to
carry on.
"-I did research about that. I have a t-theory I would
like to say." The expression on his face made me stutter over my
words.
"Well?" He said through gritted teeth.
"You never
eat. You never sleep. You skip school on sunny days. You're all
really fast. And strong. Pale, cold-skinned. You, you're not human.
None of you."
At this point the controlled rage in Edward's
face was let loose, and he snarled. Edward, the beautiful creature,
snarled. At me. Okay, I deserved it, but you don't snarl at people.
I was totally shocked. I took a step back and Edward was on his
feet.
"Are you, are you vampires?"
"WHAT WE ARE HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BELLA." Edward shouted.
I could feel
the tears form in my eyes.
"I know. But I can't stand the
lies. It is all everyone ever tells. There is no such thing as
honesty anymore in this world, but honesty is what is important. And
you're not being honest. I hate the lies, lies is what got me here.
I don't want to be here. I don't want the lies."
"You
don't care. I don't know why you bother." He half hissed.
"I
need to know."
"It isn't your secret Bella. You don't need
to know anything at all." He said whilst his eyes turned sad and
slowly back to the beautiful liquid gold.
"Please." I
whispered, which made me sound desperate. Which I was, but that
wasn't the point. Edward sighed.
"Yes Bella. You are
absolutely right. We are vampires." He said, the obvious sadness in
his voice making me want to walk right over to him and hold him tight
in my grasp. This was very silly, as he didn't even like me.
"Thank you. I truly did need to know. You have no idea what
it's like to be lied to all of the time." Edward's eyes flashed
with something I didn't understand.
"This isn't your secret
Bella. This has nothing to do with you. In a few weeks you will move
to Florida, to live with your Mother and Phil, and you will forget we
ever existed." He said sharply.
"Never." I said
firmly.
"You could have you family and mine destroyed, if this
comes out Bella. I hope you realise that." And with that, he
stormed outside, leaving me standing there alone. I didn't know
where he was going and I didn't know if he would come back, but I
did know something. I loved him.
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