Her name was Vanessa Nichole Warrick, and she was three years old. Her mother held her tight against her chest as the wagon they rode in crossed over some rough terrain. The toddler was tired and cranky and let out a soft wail each time she was jarred a little too much. "Hush little one," her mother cooed, rocking her gently as they came across a softer stretch. "We'll be there soon enough."
The 'there' her mother was speaking of was the Ponderosa Ranch, the home of a friend of Vanessa's father, Nicholas Warrick. Ben Cartwright had two sons of his own, and the couple had only been gone for a few months, but to Jennifer Warrick, it felt like years since she had seen the lush countryside around the grand ranch home, let alone the great family that resided there. Ben was a great bear of a man, but had a softer side that should when he was around women and children. His oldest son, Adam, had recently had a birthday, making him officially nine years old. Adam was a good strong boy, and Jennifer could see he would grow up to be a level headed as his father. There was also something about the way he acted that led Jennifer to believe that he would be the brain of the Ponderosa when it came time to be handed down. The boy was wiser than his years, but that came with the lifestyle. When one lives in the wilderness, one must grow up fast.
Ben's second son, Eric, was known as Hoss to those nearest him, and was the typical precocious three year old, getting into everything. He was even known to leave the house entirely, and simply wander the stable yard, talking his simple baby talk to the animals. Hoss would be wonderful with animals, Jennifer knew. He wasn't afraid of any creature, save girls, but Jennifer knew he would grow out of that soon enough. And if either boy was as charming as their father, then Ben would certainly have his hands full.
The reason they were coming to the Ponderosa was that Ben had a business deal he had to take care of and had asked his friends to come take care of the boys. Jennifer had said yes, but before things plans could be made for them, Vanessa had arrived. Ben had been kind enough to offer that they stay home with the child, but Jennifer had over-ridden him. She claimed that 'if I can't handle your two boys, how will I ever handle my own children?' Ben had laughed, then insisted. Nicholas sided with his wife. They were coming.
The wagon crossed into the main yard, where Ben and Adam waited. Hoss could be seen just behind them, playing with a carved animal of some sort. Nicholas reined in the team, and hopped down to greet his old friend. The men gripped each other in a tight bear hug, "Ben how good it is to see you!" Nicholas said, stepping back to assist his wife from the wagon. Jennifer, cradling Vanessa in one arm and bracing herself against her husband came down from the wagon as gracefully as she could. Ben stepped forward and gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "Ah Jennifer, this must be your daughter!" Jennifer drew back the small blanket overing Vanessa's face.
As she did so, something spooked one of the horses and it began to shy away, nickering nervously. Vanessa seemed to respond to the animal, her tiny voice shrieking out. All three adults laughed as Vanessa closed her mouth and stared pointedly up in Ben's direction. Her eyes were a soft blue hue, that glittered when she smiled. The infant continued to stare at the great man above her, as though daring him to pick her up and hold her. Ben grinned down at her, "Well hello little princess. Aren't you the most beautiful creature to be on the Ponderosa?" Vanessa, seeming to understand, let out a great squeal, and wriggled against her mother. Jennifer chuckled, "She's been cranky the entire way here. Is there a bed I might set her in, for tonight?" Ben nodded and motioned to lead her and the girl inside. As they walked past Adam, Jennifer smiled warmly at him, and her just looked up at her, his face ever serious. But what she didn't know was what Adam had seen.
When Vanessa had shrieked in response to the horse, the animal had stopped moving. Sure Nicholas had hurried over to grab the guide line, but the animal had stopped before then. There was something strange going on, Adam could feel it. He turned around and saws his younger brother playing with some old toys. "Hoss, come on. We better get inside." Hoss began to grumble something in his baby talk, but Adam just ignored him. Grabbing his chubby arms, he hefted his brother up into a standing position, and walked him inside. This wasn't going to be any fun with that baby around...
Nicholas Warrick was happy, and it was an accomplishment. His daughter was beautiful and strong, her face oh so similar to her mothers. The thought made him glance down for just a moment; poor Jennifer had been taken from them by Indian braves a few summers back, and Vanessa hadn't been the same since. She'd neglected her piano and taken to leaving the house for days at at time, causing Nicholas undue worry. She had become more of a sullen character and more often than not, refused to smile. That was shy it made him so glad to see her face light up with a grin as she began to recognize their surroundings.
"Papa!" she grabbed his arm affectionately, and giggled, "Oh Papa do you think they'll remember me?"
Nicholas scoffed, "Of course they will! I heard Ben say himself that the boys were looking forward to seeing you again!" Vanessa looked at him quizzically, the happy look gone. "I'll just bet they are, the last thing I remember about those boys was Adam and Hoss teaming against Little Joe and I in a tug of war." Her eyes sparkled with the memory, "Joe and I lost of course, and Momma..." she trailed off. Even after all this time, the memory of her mother was still very painful. Nicholas placed a comforting arm around his daughter, and cussed the horses onward. "Never you mind your pretty head about your momma. She's just fine where she is, and she'll be watching you just as close as she always did when we were here."
Vanessa looked at her father, and tried to smile, "I know....I know." she leaned in and gave him a soft peck on the cheek, just as they pulled into the stable yard. Nicholas stopped the horses, and was just climbing down from the wagon as the main door to the house opened and out came three Cartwrights. Ben lead the way, opening his great arms and hugging his old time friend.
"Nicholas! Oh it's good to see you!" the men clapped each other on the back, and then Nicholas stepped back, looking up at Vanessa. "Ben, you remember my daughter, Vanessa." Ben's eyes flashed, and that familiar broad smile came up to his eyes, "Of course I do!" he came forward and helped her down from the wagon, placing a hand on either side of her waist, as she braced her hands against his shoulders.
In helping the young woman to the ground, Ben found he'd really only needed one hand to grip the girl. Her waist was small enough that his fingers overlapped once he touched her. When her feet were on the ground, Vanessa looked up into the man's gentle gaze, "Hello Uncle Ben." Wow, even her voice had grown! Ben had to shake his head quickly, then hugged the girl gently. "when your father told me about your mother, I was truly sorry for you."
Vanessa smiled against his shirt, "Thank you, Ben. You don't know how much that means coming from you." she whispered, knowing he had heard her. There came a cough from behind Ben, and he released her. Stepping to the side, he made the introductions, "Vanessa, you remember Hoss," he said this while gesturing to a great beast of a man that stood another head and shoulders above his father. Vanessa had to crane her neck even further back to look at him.
Hoss shifted his weight and bowed his head, "Howdy, Vanessa." The girl was more beautiful than he'd remembered! Her hair had darkened some, that was for sure, and then there was her eyes. They'd always captured him when he was younger, how they could be a softer shade of blue one moment and then a piercing glacial the next. At the moment they were somewhere between a greener shade and that cherished soft blue. "Hello again, Hoss." she said, smiling up at him.
Ben continued, "And this is Little Joe." Only he wasn't so little anymore. The last time Vanessa had seen him, Joe had been a child of five years! Now he stood before her, broad shouldered and taller than her. He stepped forward to take her hand, and the instant he spoke, Vanessa knew she was in trouble, "Welcome back to the Ponderosa, Vanessa." he took her hand and was bending to kiss it when carefully Vanessa withdrew it from his grasp.
"It's good to see you too, Little Joe." she said firmly, raising an eyebrow when he opened his mouth. Rude or not, Vanessa had made a pact; she and her close friend at home Faith had sworn they wouldn't kiss or be kissed until they were sure the man would be their husband. So far, Vanessa hadn't had a problem with gentlemanly affections, but 'this trip might be a problem.' she thought to herself, watching the emotions play on Joe's face. "Where's Adam?" she asked, turning back to Ben.
Ben looked down at the girl on his arm, and said, "he's in town for a few errands, he should be home soon however." Vanessa nodded, and glanced at her father. Nicholas spoke, following his daughter train of thought, "Perhaps we'd best be inside? I'm not too ashamed to admit when I'm tired." Vanessa chuckled and went to her father. Joe was quick to follow and said, "I'll show you to the guest rooms we've prepared for you."
"Thank you, Little Joe." Vanessa said, looking up at the man who was only three years her junior. As the three of them walked into the house, Vanessa found herself actually excited. It had been a long time since she'd felt this way, looking forward to something. Perhaps it was the delicious meal she could smell cooking in the kitchen. Shaking her head, Vanessa looked at the room around her. She'd almost forgotten how beautiful it was.
Although rustic, the Cartwrights lived in a simple splendor that seemed to take Vanessa's breath away. The fireplace was large enough to fit three grown men, and the staircase of to its right was angled to give the study below it more of a private feeling. The dinning area off to her left was still as grand as she'd remembered, the high-backed chairs alluding to the height of the men who sat there daily. She knew that just around the corner and down a short hallway was Hop Sing's kitchen, where as a young girl she, accompanied by Joe, had stolen many a cookie.
Joe was just reaching the stairs when Ben and Hoss came in carrying the luggage. "Come on Nicholas, I'm no older than you and I'm moving quicker!" Ben teased, hefting Vanessa's trunk and climbing the stairs. Vanessa followed, lifting her skirts so as not to trip. She was lead to an east facing bedroom, with a large four poster bed and curtains that danced in the breeze let in by the open window. "Oh this is beautiful!" Ben chuckled, "I thought you'd think so." He set down her trunk at the foot of the bed. "Should I get you some fresh water?" Vanessa looked at him, momentarily distracted by the vista outside her window. "Hmm? Oh, yes...I am rather filthy aren't I?"she chuckled, and moved to her trunk, unlocking it and lifting the lid. Inside were her favorite dresses, and beneath it all a grand ball gown. She'd brought it in case her father had talked to Ben into a dance.
Ben nodded and left the room, Vanessa obviously ignoring him now. Shutting the door behind him, Ben turned to find himself looking at Nicholas. "Hello, Nicholas. Did you find your room acceptable?" Nicholas nodded, "How is Vanessa doing?" Ben crinkled his brow, "she was just beginning to unpack as I left, why?"
Nicholas nodded again, and whispered, "I was hoping she would be. Ben can I confide something in you?" It was Ben's turn to nod, "Alright...let's go downstairs." The two fathers down the open staircase in time to hear Little Joe and Hoss telling Adam about Vanessa. "Wait 'til you see her Adam. She's nothing like we remembered!" Hoss was agreeing to every word, "I tell you Adam, she's sight! A real beauty!"
"Uh-huh," Adam said, "next you're gonna tell me that she's got fairy wings and can grant a man any wish." Nicholas laughed, it was obvious that Adam too was only remembering the feisty youth that would bother him while he tried to work the ranch. All three boys looked up to see them coming, and instantly stopped talking. "Don't worry, Adam. I'm sure Vanessa isn't up to your standards anyway." Hoss whispered, moving away.
Little Joe showed his brother the same anger, and followed Hoss outside. Nicholas watched them leave, then spoke to Adam, "You know, I'm betting Vanessa doesn't have such found memories of you either." Adam raised an eyebrow, "I wouldn't be half surprised. I better go wash up, I assume we're to be on our best behavior?" He was speaking to his father, teasing him for all the times he had had to tell the boys such. Ben nodded, smiling broadly. Just before Adam disappeared, Ben called after him, "Oh and Adam, can you make sure that Joe wears his Sunday best?" Adam rolled his eyes, smiled at Nicholas and exited the room.
Ben sat down at his desk ,and motioned for Nicholas to do the same, "Now, old friend, what did you want to speak to me about?" Nicholas shifted his weight, getting comfortable sitting then drew a deep breath, "You received the letter I sent about Jennifer, I presume." Ben nodded, "Yes, I was very sorry to hear that she had passed." Nicholas smiled sadly, "Well ever since that summer, I've been afraid for Vanessa's life."
"What do you mean?" Ben asked, leaning forward. "I have good reason to believe that my wife was murdered, not by the Paiute, but by a man named Jacob Lamb. I used to employ his older brother, Ethan, four years ago."
"So what happened?"
"Ethan was killed by Vanessa's horse, Hades." Nicholas whispered, his eyes moving to the floor. "He was killed by a horse?" Ben said, incredulous. "You mean he was thrown from the saddle?"
Nicholas shook his head, "No. One day, Ethan and Vanessa had gone riding, the two of them were very close. Vanessa's mother was certain that they would be married within a month...What happened, only Vanessa knows, but what I know is that they came home, went into the barn to take care of the horses, and then Vanessa came running out of the barn, screaming for her mother." Nicholas took a shuddering breath, and looked deep into his friends eyes. "Her dress was torn and there was hay in her hair." Nicholas couldn't stay still any longer, he leapt from his seat and began to pace. "The fool had tried to force her, and she'd barely escaped with her life. You know me Ben, I raised Vanessa to know how to fend of any fight, but this...this really shook her up. She hasn't been the same since. She freezes whenever there's a confrontation when normally she would stand up for herself." Nicholas placed both of his hands on the desk and looked at Ben square. "My daughter isn't being herself. I brought her here in the hopes that she might find herself again. Your family has always been a bright spot in her life, along with the openness of this ranch of yours."
Ben stood and went to his friend, "Don't worry Nicholas. We'll get her back on her feet. Perhaps a dance? Here, at the Ponderosa?" Nicholas nodded, "That just might work. But I don't know if Vanessa will go for it..." Ben chuckled, "Well, things have been a little dull around here lately. Maybe we can leave somethings up to Vanessa." Nicholas furrowed his brow, "What do you have in mind, Ben?"
Ben walked away from the desk and moved him outside, "Why don't we set up a little game? We'll set the date of the dance two weeks from now, I'm betting Vanessa brought that much clothing with her, and let the boys battle it out. I'm sure that they'll get her going again." They had reached the outside trough, where all three boys were washing up. "Boys, wear your best tonight, we've got a lady coming to dinner!"
Vanessa sat before the small vanity in the room, brushing her cinnamon hair. With each stroke, she relived the attack. She could feel his fingers in her hair, pulling her head back to kiss him. At first it had been so exciting, but soon he became more demanding. She'd tried to get him to stop, pushing him away and running to the barn door. If she could only get outside, where other people could see them, perhaps this wouldn't happen. But he had been faster... "Ethan," she'd pleaded, sounding so pathetic even to herself. "Ethan, please...don't do this." He'd brought her back, had lain her down in the hay pile near Hades' stall. "hush little one," he'd said. He'd always called her little one, as though to tease her for being so much shorter than him. "This won't hurt if you play along." She'd then realized that he wasn't planning on marrying her. Oh no, this one had played her like a fool, and now was going to take away...she couldn't take this sitting down! She'd begun to thrash, and that's when Hades had gone berserk.
The horse had reared, breaking his tethers and came crashing down on the man above her. Hades brought himself back again, and was about to strike when Vanessa cried out, "Hades!" The horse had stopped, long enough for her to get out from underneath the groaning man, and she ran out of the barn, hearing Hades whinny loudly as she did.
"MOTHER!" her own voice echoed in her ears as she stared at herself in the mirror. The dress she had chosen was a deep emerald with slipped shoulders and a ivory trim that accented her pale skin. She closed her eyes, trying not to cry. She refused to cry, ever since that day. She'd wept rivers in her parents arms, and then even more when she'd watched her mother die. Paiute arrows, three of them.
There was a sharp knock on her door, causing her to jump. "Vanessa? Vanessa honey are you ready?" it was her father. "Yes, just a moment!" She looked at herself one more time, and saw the fear. That awful terror that seemed to appear every time that she recalled that day. She straightened her shoulders and tried to smile.
It didn't reach her eyes.
Adam was waiting, like he remembered he always had whenever Vanessa was around. Hop Sing had already set the table, and he could hear his younger brother Hoss salivating over the spread. Little Joe was lurking somewhere behind him and his father, glancing between the table and the stairs. Then there were footsteps. Two sets of them, and the soft rustle of a woman's skirt. The steps paused, and then Nicholas appeared.
Only a few steps behind him, was a vision. Vanessa was wearing an emerald gown that accentuated her cinnamon hair, setting off the natural red tints in such a way that Adam found he couldn't breathe. Her hair was down, a style which Adam loved, and as she moved, he could see that it hung well past her shoulders, almost to her waist. He looked up her body as she descended the stairs, hoping that it wasn't obvious. Her waist looked so small, almost as though he could wrap his hands around it and touch fingertip to fingertip. Then he caught sight of her face. Her eyes were captivating.
They'd always been a brilliant blue, but tonight, they looked almost gray. If he remembered right, they only got that off color when she was...sad. Somebody was speaking his name.
"...Adam." It was his father, making quick introductions all around before dinner. Vanessa was looking straight at him. "Of course, hello Adam." Oh God even her voice was changed! Adam found himself at a loss for words. Finally he stammered, "It's good to see you again, Vanessa." He could hear Hoss and Joe chuckling behind him. He wouldn't be able to live this down. Ben grinned, knowing his sons thoughts. "Let's eat!" he clapped his hands together, breaking the spell.
Before his brothers could hustle forward, Adam took Vanessa's hand, and stifled a shiver.
Vanessa gasped, her eyes searching his. She could see it, he'd felt it too. A spark of something when he'd touched her hand. Quickly, she pulled away, "I can seat myself, thank you very much." Forcing a smile, she moved to the table, stalking right past the younger two Cartwrights and waiting patiently for them to join her.
While all this happened, no one saw the knowing glance that Nicholas gave Ben, nor the return grin that Ben gave Nicholas. He was certain, that if anyone could pull Vanessa out of her self-imposed shell, it would be his boys.
The dinner was fabulous, and the conversations entertaining. Vanessa was surprised at herself, at how at home she felt with these men. After Ethan's attack, she'd sworn them off, wanting nothing more with them. They only gave pain and anguish to those around them, like her....like her mother. She shook her head, not wanting to finish that thought. Adam was at her left, and must have seen the movement, because he spoke up, "What was that for?"
"Hmm?" she looked at him, risking another nerve jarring glance into those slate gray eyes of his. She couldn't explain it, but every time she looked at him, all through dinner, she'd felt this tug in her gut. Almost as though her very soul wanted to leap out of her body. But why? Why with Adam? This man used to be a boy, a boy that would torment her as she played with his younger brother, Hoss. "You shivered." Vanessa looked around the room, "I can't shiver?" Adam shrugged. "Perhaps I got cold." she smirked, knowing that her comeback wouldn't stall him.
What was it with this woman? Adam thinned his eyes, "I'm not the youth you remember, Vanessa." She raised an eyebrow, "Clearly." she raked her eyes over his grown frame, knowing that she was provoking a spat. If Adam was anything like she remembered, he would jump down her throat at any moment. Adam sat back in his chair, that all familiar cocky look raising in his eyes.
"I'm not the only one that changed." Vanessa smiled, at him, enticing the fight. The others seated at the table could only sit and watch the interplay between the two. Vanessa brought her eyes up to face him, 'stare them down' her father had taught her, 'they'll back off.' Now she was using every fiber in her being to simply not faint away at the sight of him. The boy that she used to spar with had grown into a man, and a good looking one at that. "So tell me," she whispered, "how have you changed from that young boy that would pull my hair in church?"
Adam grinned, "You remember that do you."
Vanessa nodded, slowly, "I remember a lot of things, Adam." she said his name slowly. She straightened in her seat, folding her hands in her lap. "I remember one time, when I was about four, you planted a worm in my soup." The other boys stared at their eldest brother.
"You did what?" Ben said, aghast that his oldest boy could be so cruel. "Oh yes, Ben." Vanessa spoke before Adam had a chance. "It was the last dinner we were having together before we left for the winter." she shifted in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable with the stares she had brought on herself, "It could have been passed of as an innocent problem, if we hadn't been in the house." she glared at Adam.
He was leaning back against his chair, cool as a cucumber. "I'm not the only one who wreaked havoc on the other." Vanessa opened her eyes wide, "You might not remember, but when you were six, you...and Hoss I might add," he glanced at his brother, who was suddenly ducking his head, "took MY HORSE up to Witches Peak and got lost overnight." He turned to look at his father, "Our parents yelled at me for an hour straight when they found out. THEN they sent me out to find you!" he stood now, his broad chest rising heavily with every breath. "And when I do find you, Both of you are hiding out in a cave!" Vanessa erupted from her seat, her hands flying to her hips and her eyes glued to Adam's face.
"We told you that we got lost..."she started, but Adam did something unexpected, he covered her mouth with his hand. "You took MY HORSE and nearly got her and yourselves killed." Vanessa's eyes were wide, but not with anger, but fear. Adam stopped talking and watched as Vanessa slapped his hand away from her face, and then slapped him. Hard!
The entire room fell silent as Vanessa stood shaking in front of Adam, who was now holding his cheek, "Never..." she couldn't control her voice, it wouldn't stop shaking! "Never touch me without permission again." Her father stood, meaning to go to her, but she put up a hand. "No, Papa. Not this time." And with that, she turned on her heel, grabbed her shawl that Ben had left by the front door, and disappeared into the night.