Sorry I've kept you guys waiting. Haven't been able to type much since my last update, but I was able to type today! Hope you like this chapter, I didn't have much time to review it, like I'd like to but I hope you guys still like it.

Review please?

Rose's POV

"Dimitri…I"

I woke up with a jolt, and before I even had time to think I instantly leaned over the side of the bed and puked my guts out.

"Eww…" I muttered as I silently forced myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I pulled out one of the extra rolls of toilet paper from under the sink and began to clean the vomit off of the floor.

It smelled nasty and I made a mental note to ask one of the house cleaning ladies for some febreze. I froze and my thoughts quickly returned to what had occurred in my dream. It couldn't have actually happened; it was probably just another dream…only this time Adrian was there.

I slowly picked up my cell phone and typed in "Was that real?"

My thumb circulated around the send button a few times before actually pressing it, almost dreading the response. Part of me wanted him to be real, but then another part of me wanted him to be just another dream. How could I kill him, when he seemed so much like the Dimitri I loved? When he was the Dimitri I loved? How could I keep my promise to him?

Strigoi were supposed to be evil, to loose all trace of the person they used to be… they only wanted death and blood… that's what I had always been taught ever since I was old enough to walk, we all knew these things. It was part of our training as dhampirs.

My thoughts returned to the day Dimitri and I had driven for about 5 hours to take my Qualifier, an exam all novice guardians were required to pass during junior year. Since I had been….absent that year, I had missed mine. I was going to meet Arthur Schoenberg, one of the greatest Strigoi slayers in living guardian history. He was actually the one who was going to issue my exam, so we were traveling over to him rather then the other way around.

That was the day that I had realized that everything was changing…everything I had ever known. We had arrived at the house where the royal family Arthur protected lived, only to discover that he along with all of the members of the household had been unexpectedly slaughtered by strigoi…not the best scene to walk into. Later we realized that the strigoi had been assisted by humans and that they were beginning to flock together, something that was also unheard off.

I've had nearly all of my core beliefs challenged since then…

I was impregnated by a dhampir, impossible. I occasionally see ghosts on a daily bases, also impossible. My best friend can bring back the dead and heal the sick, impossible. An alcoholic moroi had a habit of invading my dreams and reading peoples auras, impossible. But they were true…they had all happened and I was beginning to slowly accept them as reality. How many more surprises was I in for? Because I'm honestly not sure how much more I can handle…maybe I would end up like Shadow Kissed Ana.

My phone vibrated fiercely in my hand and I jumped. I had forgotten that I was still holding it. I slid it open and opened the message from Adrian.

"Yes…Rose, I'm leaving the hotel now, I should be there in about an hour. Stay put, we need to talk."

I didn't reply. I slid the phone closed again and tossed my phone onto the bed.

I needed to clear my mind… there was too much going on right now.

I sank into the sofa and worked on clearing my mind. Not a very easy task, well for me at least.

Within a few minutes I was inside Lissa's head. Something I hadn't really been counting on, though it should've been obvious. The mental barriers I had been holding up crumbled when I cleared my mind.

Oh yeah, add that to my impossible list. My best friend and I have a one way bond. I could feel everything she was going through and can occasionally slip inside her head.

I took in my surroundings, well her surroundings. We were in the church attic. She was sitting in front of Christian. I instantly felt the stinging around her wrists. She glanced down at them; her tears were streaming down her eyes uncontrollably.

"I have to find her!" she almost screamed.

Christian closed his eyes. I could tell he was trying to calm himself down and so could Lissa, but she didn't care.

She seized the moment his eyes were closed and dashed towards the stairs but he caught up to her and seized her by the wrists. She winced at the pain.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grab you there." He apologized quickly, as he turned her around and cut off her path to the stairs.

"Let me go!" she yelled. She needed to run away, she needed to find me again, I was the only thing that kept her sane and she had been refusing to take her anti depressant pills.

"No!" he boomed, finally losing his patience with her. I could tell that this was an old argument and that he had been able to keep her from leaving the academy the previous times. But Lissa wasn't planning on letting him win this time.

"She needs me!"

"I'm not going to let you screw up your life! Rose is fine on her own and you know that! It was her choice and we should honor it!" he retorted.

"I need to find her!" she wasn't about to let him convince her otherwise, memories of me flashed through her eyes, and she bit back a sob.

"Lissa…" he sighed, rubbing his forehead slowly, obviously trying to figure out what to do. His blue eyes burning into hers, she could see how much pain she was causing him right now. But she couldn't let that bother her now. She needed to find me, and if he wasn't going to be on her side, then fine. She'd find away to do this herself.

"I could take care of myself, Christian." She hissed, yanking her arm away from him. I've never felt her so distant. So much anger and sorrow…just like that time when she tortured Jesse. I had taken it away from her then…and I had the same urge to just reach in and take away the darkness from her again. But this time I wasn't really there. It wouldn't work…

The rage inside Christian finally exploded and I caught a glimpse of the flower pot behind him catch flames. Lissa held back the urge to reach out and heal it. She had been working on that plant before with Adrian and it seemed a shame.

"Just because Rose ran off on some impossible suicide mission doesn't mean I'll let you do the same! At least she has the training to keep herself safe, but what about you? How would you protect yourself out there without her?! I'm not going to loose you, Lissa. You're all I have!" He was grabbing her shoulders now and shaking her lightly. I felt some more of her tears spill and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to at least try to remove some of the darkness from her. All of her pain and sorrow…it was all my fault. I had to help her.

She pushed him away and he staggered back a few steps. I reached out to the darkness and attempted to take it away, just like I had those many times before. Only this time it didn't vanish. I couldn't do anything for her from here…suddenly I was pushed out.

I sat there, back in the hotel sofa. So much for clearing my mind, how could I have done that to her? I shook my head, no she knew I had to do this; for once can't things be about me instead of her?

No, they come first. They always come first. I sighed…it wasn't her fault, it was spirit. But what was I going to do now?

My thoughts returned to my dream…to him. What had he been telling me?

I struggled to remember. I knew it was important…

I gasped as his words echoed in my mind.

"I still love you… I need to keep you safe. You have to return to the Academy, they're after you… they want to use you to get to Lissa."

I fought to remember the rest, but couldn't. But I knew Adrian would.