OMC!!!! (have you seen i usually start chapters with 'OMG!' or 'OMC!'...just saying...) 12 REVIEWS!!!!!!!! i didn't know you all liked it so much!...... U PPL LIKE ME? U REALLY LIKE ME?? lol

ANYWHO, u guys made me soo happy, i wrote this chapter the day after i published this story!! so u guys have been waiting 4 nothing! sorry for the wait! hee hee

this probably won't live up 2 ur hype but... ON WE GO!!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Cullens (sob! again!), Chanel, Gucci, blood crotches, payback, or chick territory... but i do own bella and edward's rage!!!!!

Edward's POV

The entire room was silent as we inhaled the impossible smell of blood. Even everyone's thoughts where soundless in this unbelievable second of time.

"No way," Emmett breathed. That set all hell loose.

Without a thought, without having to hear the sickening need in his head, I lunged plowed into Jasper across the couch. We hit the wall, smashing an enormous hole into the same spot Esme fixed two days ago when I had punched Emmett into it for singing 'Gives You Hell' by All-American Rejects in my face all day. We're in trouble.

"Edward," Jasper yelled, "Get off! I'm fine! I won't hurt her!" I stared deep into his butterscotch eyes to see the truth; I still knew hidden within was lust for her blood.

I glared at him and a rather feral snarl ripped through my chest, no way in hell was I going to chance his control with Nessie, "Get out," I asked him, and almost pleaded for him to do it.

Jasper looked irritated as he set a calm upon me, "I could if you got off of me," he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

I realized I was still on top of him from when we collided. I was a little embarrassed as I darted behind Nessie's couch again because the image had to look pretty gay.

Jasper darted outside, but not before I heard him mutter, "Paranoid".

I turned back to the problem. Nessie was in a tight ball, sobbing very hard, as she pleaded for any type of help, mentally and verbally. I was panicking. I have never had to deal this ever in my entire 107 years, so what the hell was I was supposed to do? I faintly remember skimming through magazines and flipping through television channels and seeing those contraptions—tampons?—that girls use to...stop the flow, but I had no idea how to exactly use it orget it.

As I continue to try to think of a solution, my thoughts were constantly interrupted by Emmett's growing panic.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God…" Emmett repeated in increasing tempo.

A irritated rage festered now as he got louder and faster in his terror. My hand trembled, my teeth clenched and then he finally broke my dam, and I burst.

"My God, Emmett! Be a man for Christ's sake!!" I yelled at him, grabbing the front of his shirt with trembling fists, "Have you lost your dignity? Your manhood? You're going to let a simple bleed in the crouch get to you!? God! Pull yourself together! I know you weren't born with aspiration to be a military man like Jasper and I, but I need you to be a soldier in this war…sort of! I need you now to help me stop this!"

Emmett looked at me in disbelief, "I am being a man! This is all a real man can do! How the hell are we to fight this, Edward!? This is not our territory, man! This is chick territory. Frilly, sleepover, 'omigod!' CHICK TERRITORY! Not us, dude. When dudes step in chick territory, we lose. Always. The only dudes that can step in chick stuff and not lose are gay…or God. And I am definitely not gay...or God. That life, just life; the cruel balance of the world! And you know what: I like to keep that cruel balance that way it is! The one were I don't mess with bloody crotches! I. am. out!" Emmett darted from my grip and I heard the discreet click of the basement door locking.

I was all alone. Nessie still lay sobbing, then she lifted her head and I saw the extent that the period had done to her.

I gasped, couldn't stop myself from doing so. "My God," I whispered.

From the crouch of her Chanel jeans to the crease of the back of her knees, the blood had seeped itself into the very fibers of her pants. The smell of her blood was intense.

"Please," Nessie begged in a small voice, "Help…me,"

Without taking my eyes off of Nessie, I took out my cell phone and speed-dialed Bella.

"Don't worry," I assured her. "It's coming."

Alice's POV

This, by far, was the funniest day of my life!

I let my laughter unleash as I saw my plan complete: Edward was at home, scared as hell, calling Bella for some aid on Nessie first time of the month! Emmett and Jazz are gone, leaving Edward the most stressed man alive…err…existing right now! Payback is a bitch!

Esme, Rosalie, and Bella stopped hunting and stared at me like I should go back to that asylum I was at when human, and I struggled to explain myself.

"I…I…" I couldn't stop laughing, so I skipped to the point, "Bella…just give me your phone when it rings…please!"

Bella's eyes narrowed, "What did you do?"

I took and unnecessary deep breath. "You will see," I answered ominously.

Her phone rang and, as quick as lightning, she looked at the Caller ID. A snarl escaped her lips.

"What did you do to Edward?" She growled.

"Nothing much, now let me see the damn phone!" I raised my voice.

She debated for a millisecond, and then she tossed the phone to me. She growled again, then mumbled, "Better not had hurt him,"

I ignored the threat. "Hello?" I answered innocently. I was gonna milk this for all it's worth.

"Alice," Edward hesitated, but then went on, "Give the phone to Bella,"

"But, why oh why, Eddie-man—" I loved this "—is there a…problem?" I smiled evilly on the other line, but I knew he could here it on my face.

"Alice, there is no time for you to play with me, we have a problem and you know it!" Edward yelled.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Esme asked softly as she heard Edward on the other line.

"I swear Alice, tell me what wrong with Edward or I'm going to beat the crap out of you!" Bella threatened loudly.

I rolled my eyes and turned my back to her. As if she'd do something.

Edward heard Bella in the background. "Alice, I hear Bella…please…" he pleaded. This was getting fun, and Bella was not going to ruin it!

"NO! Cuz' you know why?" I let him have it. "PAYBACK IS A BITCH, THAT WHY! Your right, I knew all of this was going to happen. I knew weeks ago! I was gonna tell you too but when I got out of the shower with orange hair because Jacob switched my Pantene Pro-V with tomato juice I thought, 'Hell, if Edward couldn't warn me I was gonna look like Pippi Longstockings for two weeks, then why should I tell him about Nessie?'"

"I was going to—" Edward interjected, but I stopped him.

"NO! You were the first to laugh when you saw the image in you mind!" my voice was ringing two octaves higher but I caught my heightening voice and went on with my rant, "That is why, Edward, I never told you and why you'll be stuck this problem yourself for two weeks. Yep, you didn't hear wrong my brother, I'm keeping all the girls away from you for two whole weeks! Bella won't help you, Carlisle will be just as confused as you are, and you and the others will get what you fully deserve. And at that note, goodbye Edward, and have fun with Nessie's period!" I sang the end part and giggled as a loud "WHAT!" came from the other girls.

I was surprised I didn't see the next thing that hit me coming. It a split move and a split decision.

I was suddenly in the air, hanging a few inches from the ground by the collar of my Gucci sweater. I was in Bella's death grip; her eyes were black pools of death that pierced my now fearful soul. The cell phone was a smashed heap of wires on the ground.

"Alice" she said in voice that resembled the very voice of Satan, "What did you say?"

I couldn't believe myself. My lips quivered as I stared into Bella's infuriated face that might be similar to if the ominous calm before a storm were human…or vampire I should say. The answer I could conjure up from my trembling voice was a weak, " N-Nessie h-had her p-period?"

Hatred dripped from every syllable of her voice, "Explain."

Ooooo Alice is in sum deep sh-

ANYWAY! reveiw! u have made me soo fuzzy inside i am not that dependant on yall tellin me its awesome anymore! i'll still write (yaaaayyyy!!!!!)! but still do it ...its good for tha soul (scientifically proven!)

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