Disclaimer: i own nothing
Warning: the f-bomb is dropped alot. just in case.
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Four weeks prior:
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It was instinct, it was reflex, it was Love. He could not be in the same boat as Don was now, so when he heard the first rings of gunfire it was Lindsay's safety first than his own. Lucy needed her mother.
His arm had already been draped around Lindsay's chair so it was a quick movement north to protect the back of her neck and fling her forwards to the ground, while he himself fell on top of her.
He felt a stinging in his left shoulder as he landed on the floor and warm fluid start to trickle down his arm, but it must have been shock. It didn't register. Shots continued to be fired into the bar as glass shattered and cut them as it fell.
There was a moment of silence before sirens could be heard in the background. Looking around, Danny saw Don on the ground, eyes closed, but breathing, Sheldon was bleeding but he seemed alright, arm thrown over Stella, Mac and Sid lying next to them eyes just opening taking in the surroundings, and Adam curled up into the fetal position, no doubt in shock, he was a lab guy, this shit wasn't supposed to happen to him.
No one moved, they just focused on their own breathing, too scared to stand up just in case there was another round ready for when they reappeared in the now empty windows.
The sirens got louder, and the squeal of tires was heard followed by rushed footsteps into the bar. "NYPD! You guys all right" came the voice of Officer Marks. "Don?"
There was the sound of crumbling glass as everyone started to stir. Danny sat up and then pulled Lindsay up and proceeded to check her out, there were minor scratches but nothing serious. Then Stella's gasp caught the room and all eyes were on her as she applied pressure to Hawkes' forearm, which was bleeding profusely. He had no doubt been shot. "We need an ambulance out here quick Marks!" Stella shouted. "Shit, it's a through and through." She said assessing the wound, adding pressure as Hawkes hissed at the pain. He was a doctor damn it, he could take it!
"Make that 2 ambulances." Came Adam's trembling voice.
"What why?" asked Don who had just sat up.
"Da-Danny."
"What? Adam, are you craz…ohh FUCK." Danny screamed as he turned to look at Adam and felt the stinging increase tenfold. Lindsay quickly scrambled around and pulled Danny's shirt away to investigate. Before replacing it and adding pressure.
"It, doesn't look to bad Dan." Lindsay said, although he could hear the panic in her voice. Adrenalin and the fact that he had protected Lindsay had to be the reason he wasn't freaking out. "It's just the shoulder. Doesn't look like it's hit anything. SID!" Lindsay called as Sid had finished looking at Hawkes who was now being tended too by Mac and Stella.
"Sid, don't worry I'm fine." Danny said moving his arm then gasping and falling silent as more blood began to gush from the wound.
"The hell you are." Sid said. "Looks like you may have just nicked something. How far on those buses!?" he called, helping Lindsay apply pressure as Danny started to loose consciousness.
"No Danny, hey, stay with me." Lindsay said anxiously leaving Sid to care for the wound as she moved around to his front and patted his face.
"Linds, I…"
"Danny, Focus, the bus is 2 minutes out we can hear the freaking sirens, just stay with me, think of Lucy."
"Yea, yea, I'm with you Linds, Luce…" but it was no good he was fading, the adrenalin was wearing off fast and the pain was getting to be too much….
"Hold on Danny!" Lindsay cried…..
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The beeping was insane, as were the shouts of the ambulance, but all there was was pain for Danny, The pain that he may never see his wife and kid again. He felt himself rolling along but all he saw was the occasional blur of a bright rectangular light. What do we have April….Det. Danny Messer, 34, gunshot to the back of the right shoulder, occurred close to 12 minutes ago…Okay lets rush surgery, I won't lose another cop, not on my watch….Det. Messer, you're going to be fine we are taking you into surgery now, just hang in there….then it was pleasant, happy, the pain was dulled. Surrounded by bright white and a dull yellow all at the same time.
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The world was fuzzy, cloudy, but he could smell Lindsay, she had obviously showered recently as the scent of her body wash hung in the air. The beeping was still there but it was slower, more stable, less erratic.
He blinked a few times to clear the salt from his eyes, his right arm was numb, and his left arm was pinned down, glancing to the side he saw Lindsay, her hair in barely wet tendrils hanging around her face which was tucked asleep into her arm that was clutching his hand. He slowly unwound his hand from hers and tucked her hair behind her ear. The action gently roused Lindsay from her fitful sleep.
"Hmmm, Danny. Da-DANNY!" Lindsay jumped. "You're up, how are you feeling?"
"A little sore, but, you okay? How's Sheldon?"
"Doc's fine, actually bossing around his intern; everyone else is just shock and minor cuts from the glass." Lindsay told him as he ran his thumb along the cut that graced her cheek. "Lucy is with your mom still, she'll bring her by in a few hours."
"What did she say?" Danny asked, his Mother had been called to the hospital several times lately, for Louie, for him, and now for him again. She wasn't a fan.
"Nothing much, just freaked out, had to calm her, think she paced by the phone until 6 am when I called to tell her the docs figure you'd be fine."
"So I'll be fine?"
"Rehab, you get to play Mr. Mom, for about a month and a half."
"Okay…okay." Danny said slumping back into the pillows, It could be worse.
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Danny's mom stopped by around 10 am with baby Lucy as promised. She was smiling, but barely keeping it together. Her smile wasn't genuine, and Maria Messer had a genuine smile, you knew when she was completely and totally happy. It showed every time she saw her granddaughter. But here she was just standing there talking to her son, Her answers were short. Lindsay could tell she needed to burst, To let it all go. And that's exactly what happened when she took Lucy to be fed and changed.
Leaving the room Lindsay cringed as she heard her mother-in-laws cries "What the fuck did you think you were doing!?"
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"What the FUCK do you think you were doing Daniel!?"
"What the hell Ma, What was I doing, I was toasting a dead colleague and someone decides to shoot at us. It's not like I ran after the Son of a bitch or something."
"YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER! A WIFE! DOES THAT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?"
"THAT means everything to me mother, I got shot making sure LINDSAY was SAFE."
"Yes, but you have your own neck to save as well, Lucy NEEDS both her parents!"
"Ma! Seriously I got hit once not 10 times, it COULD have been SO much worse."
"DANIEL! WHY DO You keep doing this to ME!?"
"WHAT? WHAT AM I DOING TO YOU?"
"YOU ARE KILLING YOURSELF, YOU ARE KILLING YOURSELF FOR SOME JOB WHICH FRANKLY ISN'T WORTH IT! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT YOU DAUGHTER, WHAT DO YOU AND LINDSAY THINK YOU ARE DOING! YOU HAVE A FAMILY NOW, GET OUT OF THE FIELD! YOU TWO have a death WISH!"
"The field has nothing to do with this." Danny said as calmly as he could, however there was a tremor in his speech. "We do not have a death wish, we are simply doing our jobs, jobs that you claimed made you proud."
"But you are a father now. Your Daughter comes first."
"You don't think I FUCKING know that!? Luce IS my EVERYTHING!"
"You have a hell of a way of showing it." Maria spat back
"I Lived MA! I FUCKING LIVED for that little girl, I plan to continue living for her. I could have given up and said fuck it, but I FOUGHT. So don't harass me with this bull shit."
"DANNY! I swear to god, if you keep this up You will die, die prematurely, you won't live to see your daughter make it to prom. EVERY OTHER FUCKING YEAR! EVERY OTHER FUCKING YEAR YOU ARE IN THIS PLACE." She said gesturing around the hospital. "GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, DO IT FOR YOUR DAUGHTER, BECAUSE I WILL NOT LET YOU HURT THAT GIRL."
"HURT HER? HURT HER? WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!?"
"IT MEANS, this path you're on is a destructive one, and I will not let you ruin her life, because she is scared for Daddy every FUCKING night. She won't go through that."
"I'll ruin her life? Are you fucking kidding me, like the way my uncles and Louie ruined mine, not happening, I know she won't be scared for us. I won't let that happen."
"HOW! YOU HAVE A HELL OF A WAY OF STARTING."
"Mother get out. Get out now." Danny said in his iciest tone. Maria did as she was told. Shooting back the with the same cold stare
"I'm Gone. Daniel."
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"Maria, you okay?" Lindsay asked as she passed a shaky Maria in the hall.
"No, no I'm not. I think I just ruined my relationship with my son."
"No, no you didn't." Lindsay said watching Danny through the glass, she had in fact heard the entire conversation, she froze at the first raised voices. "Emotions are high, let them die down. Everything will be fine in a few days."
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A few days turned into a few weeks, Maria called constantly to apologize for how she acted, but Danny would have none of it. She thought he was damaging his daughter by serving the city, that he was a bad father because there was a heightened risk in his job? To hell with her…
…oh this coming weekend would be fun. He could see Lindsay's point, but he was still running on fumes from that morning in the hospital.