*says nervously* ello...um yeah well....
alice: why did you flucking keep me waiting so long...
me: um...well...ya see alice-
alice: I WILL BURN YOUR FAVORITE RED CONVERSE IF YOU EVER DO THAT $%^& TO ME AGAIN!!!....*ask sweetly* so did SM finally give you twilight yet?
me: NOOOO NOT JARED&KIM (i name my sneekers after twilight carecters..i have ocd (CULLEN) I WILL NEVER!! *says very calmly* no actually but i might just have to bribe her...
EPOV
damn,bella dose know how to fill a pair of jeans...that kardashian chic has nothing on her cheeks...you could bonce a qurter off those things...
EDWARD BE A GENTLEMAN!!!!
okay fine....damn her ass....
WAIT A MINUTE!
what did pedo wolf just say (nothing wrong with jacob...well not much...)
he walked red faced up to the mic and a very firmiliar song came on.
i love myself, i want you to love me
when i feel down,i want you above me
i search myself, i want you to find me
i forget myself, i want you to remind me
i dont want anybody else
when i think about you i touch myself
ooh i dont want anybody else oh oh no no oh oh
"daddy why doe's jacob touch himself?" carlise asked me (no typo there)
"carlise, i am not your father...and becase he will never get to touch my daughter...ever."
"daddy, jacob touches me all the time thow.." nessie said...whoa she wil never know akward that sentence was.
your the one who makes me come runnin
your the one who makes me shine
when youre around im always laughin
i want to make you mine
i close my eyes and see you before me
think i would die if you were just to ignore me
a fool could see just how much i adore you
id get down in my knees; id do anything for you
i dont want anybody else
when i think about you i touch myself
ahh ohh i dont want anybody else
oh no oh no yeah
jacob started to dance like steve erkule
i touch myself
i touch myself
i touch myself
i touch myself
i honsetly do
i touch myself
i touch myslef
.......
......
......
bout 3 minutes later everyone was on the floor laughing.
apart from nessie and jacob
"sooo...umm yeah....noo...nooo that was just wrong jake." said alice
"stupid horny rabit owner." came from rose's mouth
"WHAT IS A DISCO STICK AN EVERYONE TOUCHES THEMSELF!!!" burst my very emo daughter.
she touched her forehead and shrieked "WHOPPIDI FLOPPERDI I AM TOUCHING MYSELF!!"
this made every one scilente...nessie curled back between me and bella then smiled angelicly.
"so mommy whats a disco stick?" she asked bella
damn bella you ass is like my personal sun....
BPOV
"nessie i will tell you later.." yeah a couple years later!!!
"ugh..fine...im gonna go color..and dont. bother. me.....!!!!!"
omg my child is bipolar, well she got it from her uncle..
"so blonde...truth or dare?" jacob asked
" DARE YOU SMALL LITTLE MUTHER OR THE MUTT TYPEISH LITTER!!.....LET THE EVIL VIVA VIAGRA GET YOU.....AND YOUR LITTLE SETH TOO!!!"
"hey rose?" i asked
" yes bells?"
"stop eating diabetic cheetas...kay?
"osgfa!!!!" she said in chimpease.
"i dare you to sing-" but jacob was cut off.
"i have finshed my pictures! heres one of aunt pixie shoping...one of grampa atacking a duck...and this ones my favorite...MOMMY AND DADDY WREASLING!!!!"
soooo did you like? love? hate..:( :) let me know!!! click it....click it....it will mean every thing to me....i will make you giggle about chicken poop if u just review!!
3 rayche