Even If It Kills You
Sappy. Also bitter. Thunder storms make great muses, ne?
Don't own Kingdom Hearts.
The greatest thing about going on vacation is going on vacation with Sora.
Because it would be terribly lonely if no one were there to point out that the little girl seems lost. That we should help her find her parents. That the one cloud in the sky looks like a moogle. That there are ducks in the river and it would be fun to feed them. That my jeans are unzipped from our excursion in the public bathroom. That the air smells like food, so there should be a shop nearby. That my eyes are more on the blue side than the green side today. That they change colors at all.
It would be terribly lonely if no one held my hand in public and smiled cheerfully at the disapproving glares. If I had no one to whisper sweet things to when he lay furled against me in his sleep. If no one pulled my hair back for me when the breeze picked up. If no one paid for the meals when I left my wallet in the hotel again. If no one forgave me for leaving it there for the third time this week. If no one hid it under the bed just so I would forget it and he could pay for everything and regain a sense of his masculinity that gets lost when he's beneath me and losing himself.
It would be terribly lonely if I had to sleep in that large hotel room bed all by myself. If I had no one to steal things from my plate during dinner at a nice restaurant even though his food is perfectly fine. If I had to ride the ferry alone and stare aimlessly at the passing water in silence. If I had no one to fill that silence. If I had no one to fill the silence with a kiss or four.
It would've been terribly lonely when I walked across the Japanese-style bridge and marveled at the water lilies with no one at my side to complain about how he's bored. When I stopped in to say hi to my aunt Kristi and no one had made up an excuse to leave so that she would stop talking. When that large dog came rushing straight for me and there had been no one to intercept it and calm it down enough to find its owner. When I passed through all the shops and stands and no one had begged me to by almost everything he laid eyes on.
The worst thing about going on vacation is going on vacation without Sora.
The worst thing about going on vacation without Sora is knowing Sora is getting married.
The worst thing about Sora getting married is knowing he's not getting married to you.
And the worst part about that?
"Of course, Sora. I'll support anything you do."
Calling him from the hotel room while on the vacation you planned for the two of you. The vacation where you planned to tell him the truth. The one you never told him about because he told you he was getting married the day you were supposed to leave.
Now, what's worse than that?
"I'm glad you're happy."
Telling the truth. Even if it kills you.