Karaoke Night Chapter 5: Im Not Your Boyfriend Baby, a fruits basket fanfic

Chapter 5 - Im Not Your Boyfriend Baby

Warning: This chapter contains a 3OH!3 song, so read at your own risk. Though it's clearly not bad enough for me to bump up the rating. Just rather profane - but I censored it well?

Kyo didn't manage to escape Kagura for another twenty-four minutes, but when he did, he was furious. So furious, in fact, he only checked the crowd for Kagura for about a minute before leaping onstage. Once there, he saw that Kagura was currently being restrained by the bartender, Yuki, Haru, Hatori, and Rin, so he felt fairly confident she'd be there for at least half the song he was singing.

Maybe.

Kyo thought out a list of his other obstacles.

Yuki was restraining Kagura, so he was out of the way.

Akito was still in the bathroom, so there'd be no problem from that quarter, and so was Tohru (probably helping her).

Shigure and Ayame, on the other hand, were totally fine, but he'd get to make fun of them in the song, so that was OK.

Kyo was very glad Tohru was so nice, because Tohru's absence meant that he didn't have to stick to an innocent song - revenge is always so much sweeter with a sexy twist. And he could scorn the obnoxious duo, too.

Who said revenge was a dish best served cold?

I'm not your boyfriend, baby,
I ain't your cute little sex toy.
I'm not your lion or your tiger,
Won't be your nasty little boy.
I'm not your boyfriend, baby,
I can't grant your every wish.
I'm not your knight in shining armor,
So I just leave you with this kiss.

Kyo sang with a smirk, blowing a kiss to Kagura. (He really shouldn't have, as it cut down the time until her escape; she wanted to catch it.)

You can catch me on the speed train,
Beeper in a three-way,
Shinin' with the gleam chain,
And your honey givin' me brain.
You can catch me watchin' AI,
Melo it's game time.
Pinkie with the same shine,
Pit bull and a canine.

You know I rep' this s**t,
I gots it tatted on my skin.
If you f***in' with my city,
Then you f***in' with my kin.
You know I rep' this shit,
I got my hands up on your chest.
Motherf***ers best believe it,
That you're f***in' with the best.

He may have been starting to worry a bit, checking the stage exits and trapdoors; it had been a whole minute since the start of the song...

I'm not your boyfriend, baby,
I ain't your cute little sex toy.
I'm not your lion or your tiger,
Nah, nah,
Won't be your nasty little boy.
Whoo,
I'm not your boyfriend, baby,
Yeah, I can't grant your every wish.
Ya, I'm not your knight in shining armor,
So I just leave you with this kiss.

(Kill the lights.)
These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks.
(It feels right.)
All these asphyxiated, self-medicated; take the white pill, you'll feel alright.
(Kill the lights.)
These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks.
(It feels right.)
All these asphyxiated, self-medicated--

He started smirking again as Shigure yelled, "Hey! Hatori hasn't burned me with a cigarette in YEARS!" (but failed to deny the other claims) and Ayame's ego spoke up, "Of course I attract a lot of questionable women. I'm just that fantastic!"

Hatori, on the other hand, calmly (as much as is possible when you're restraining anyone THAT stubborn) stated, "Well, I suppose I DO have a weakness for driving quickly..."

The chaos began during the instrumental break. They'd held on longer than anyone expected, but now Kagura was free. And angry.

It the confusion, Kyo somehow ended up in the shadows of the lighting structure and was able to finish the song without incident. (Other than an angry Shigure and another egomaniacal outburst from Aaya.)

(Kill the lights.)
These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks.
(It feels right.)
All these asphyxiated, self-medicated; take the whi--
(Kill the lights.)
These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks.
(It feels right.)
All these asphyxiated, self-medicated; take the white pill, you'll feel alright.
(Kill the lights.)
These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks.
(It feels right.)
All these asphyxiated, self-medicated; take the white pill, you'll feel alright.
(Kill the lights.)
These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks.
(It feels right.)
All these asphyxiated, self-medicated; take the white pill, you'll feel alright.

Kagura stormed home after failing to locate Kyo, who simply jumped down from the lights after she was gone.

So Kyo wins in the end. And gets some fairly good ridicule out into the bargain.
I'd like some more reviews - I'm starting to get stretched for songs and plot.
(Though I have a veeeery good song in mind for near the end: hope you remember what Akki's been drinking since Chapter 2.)
The stoned barkeep's name is now Guy. (Thanks to a friend of mine.)
By the way, does it seem very make-it-up-as-you-go-along?
Because it is.