This is a series of ficlets, of all the things that go unsaid between John and Natalie- because we all know a lot goes unsaid.
Things Unsaid
Part One: Unanswered Questions
Sometimes when the night became too dark, and the air too hot, she would find herself slipping out of Jared's embrace and making her way to the roof. Up there the air was cool and the lights of the sleeping city twinkled, up there she could let herself pretend. Once or twice he had been there, all six foot of him, a beer in his hand and somehow another waiting for her.
"Bad dream?" He asked, passing a bottle to her.
She took it, downing a nice cool sip before answering. "Couldn't sleep. I'm worried about Jess." She let her fingers graze the edge of the roof top, it was mostly true. She was worried about Jessica, and sleep did not come easy these nights, but that was only a part. She was afraid she had made a mistake, in one foul swoop she had lost everyone she cared about, everyone save one.
He took it in but didn't press. He was wrestling with his own demons these days, a girl back from the dead with no memory of him. John had cringed when he found out about Jared and Natalie moving in to the Angel Square Hotel. He had pictured a million awkward encounters that would burn and twist his gut, but somehow they had fallen into a rhythm all of their own. He would catch her as she came back from her morning jog and they would share a cup of coffee, or they would bump into each other getting the mail and she would smile, making his whole day brighter, or on a starless night they would share a beer. When Jared was around their eyes never met but those moments were a small penance for having her back in his life.
"So how goes the job hunt?" He asked, finding himself somehow sitting next to her, close, his leg brushing against hers.
She exhaled. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that…"
"Oh really?" John looked at her expectantly.
"Yeah, see I heard that the P.D. is looking for another secretary. Grimsely pretty much said the job was mine if I wanted it." She watched him carefully, the orange tinted lights casting shadows across his body.
John took a swig of beer. "He always did like your coffee."
"So?" She asked.
"So what?" John answered back.
Natalie smiled, despite her aggravation, it was just like him to side step the question. "So would it be okay?"
"Okay with who?" And catching her look, he smiled back. "Oh you mean with me?"
"Well I wouldn't want to impose." She drew out the last word, batting her eyelashes mischievously.
"Oh yeah because you never do that." John shook his head as Natalie whacked him playfully.
Crossing her arm, she tried to protest. "I am trying to get better about that!"
"I know you are." He tried to think, but the smell of her shampoo was distracting. He had forgotten how she always smelled like strawberries. He had forgotten how much he missed her. It had been easier when their paths never crossed to just blot her out, to fill his days with something, anything. Now that she was back in his orbit he remembered what it felt like to smile, to laugh, and to live.
But too close and he could fall again. And she was taken, she had chosen Jared over everyone, there was no chance to compete with that, at least that's what he told himself. "So?" She asked again, growing impatient.
John took another sip of beer. "I'm thinking." He replied with grin and Natalie sighed, he never had been that good at answers.