I couldn't believe how many people had gathered in the main hall of Hogwarts. I had never seen so many people in my life. I couldn't look at them; I kept my eyes focused on the big golden plate in front of me. I wasn't even listening to Dumbledore when he mentioned my name.
"Stand up." Snape muttered.
I stood. There was silence. It made me uncomfortable.
"Now sit." I sat.
My head was starting to pound. When Dumbledore stopped talking the Hall filled with chatter. Great, I thought, if we could just keep this bellow a dull roar.
I could feel the blood rushing at my temples, veins contracting and expanding. What was wrong with me? On my left was a short, slightly roundish witch, who kept trying to engage me in conversation. I tried the best I could to smile, and nod, and act like everything was okay.
"And I teach Herbology," She was saying. "The study of plants? Surely you remember, you were such a quick girl…" I smiled sadly and shook my head. I kept disappointing this woman. I kept disappointing myself. I thought that when I'd get here, I'd feel like I belonged. Like I was, oh I don't know, home? I felt nothing. No connection at all. Maybe I should just go to St. Mungos. I didn't see that there was anything for me here.
I suffered my way through dinner and dessert, and frankly I was relieved when Snape announced that we were leaving—skipping out on the seemingly endless chatter.
I was swept into an office were a little cot was conjured for me in the corner.
"You'll be sleeping here." Snape said simply, and then he left.
I was a little taken aback, but I lay down and tried to sleep. Sleeping was a luxury, I knew, and I had to take advantage of it.
Still, I couldn't help but wonder as I lay there, about the man who had been forced to take me in. He knew everything about me, and I knew near nothing about him. It seemed like an off balance scale, tipping away from me.
As I drifted into sleep I had strange thoughts about balancing scales, and strange dream involving a cat.