Disc: I do not own the characters or the show of NCIS. I do own Tony Sorelli.

Couple: Leroy Jethro Gibbs & Tony Sorelli.

I coasted through the first five days as I worked hard at just thinking things through and managed to sort some things out in my head. I packed my bags, I had said bye to the team the night before. I was driving home, I had a doctor's appointment that I hadn't cancelled. When I got back I went to my apartment, I had asked Mac not to tell Gibbs I had returned until tomorrow. The next day I headed to my appointment when I got there, about thirty minutes early, I saw Gibbs. He looked at me and walked over. "You doing okay? You back for good or are you moving to New York City?"

I leaned against the wall as I looked at him, I smiled some, yeah I had had some time to think to myself. I still wasn't sure about what Gibbs wanted from me but I had made my choices about where I wanted to live. I signed to him. "I am going to live in D.C, still have some things to think through, but otherwise D.C. is my home and I can't leave the family that I have found here." I walked past him as I headed in. "See you later Gibbs."

I headed in and went to find some coffee, I needed something to drink. Gibbs handed me a cup and he looked at me, brushing the hair out of my face he lowered his head and kissed me slowly, he pulled me to him slowly and I put my arms around his neck and pulled back. "I missed you."

I looked at him and touched his face for a second, he lowered his head and started to kiss me, he firmly pinned me to the wall, he then moved back, looking at me. We were not exactly in a private area so I signed to him; "Gibbs, don't think I don't care about you the way you do about me. But I am not sure about a relationship, with you or anyone. I promised myself when I was thirteen that I would die without falling in love or marrying."

I gazed at him, I didn't want to hurt him but he stroked my cheek and sighed; "I'll let you think this over, you decide if you want to be with me or you don't." I closed my eyes for a second as I started to think things through. I nodded, glad he wasn't losing his temper, he looked at me; "They're asking after you, come to the office later the team wants to see you."

He put my badge and gun in my hand and headed out, I sighed and I headed into the doctor's office. I sat there worrying that I would never hear again. The doctor started to talk, he had taken a look and he did some tests, I had started to hear something during the hearing test, not much but something. He told me it looked like my left ear was healing well but the right ear was damaged beyond repair. The left ear was probably going to heal and I would have most of my hearing back in that ear. Was going to take three weeks or longer to heal. They had healed enough so that I didn't have to have the cotton balls in my ears any more.

I got out of the elevator and made my way to the bull pen taking a deep breath and stretching some. I plopped down at the edge of my desk, well was soon to be my old desk. Gibbs wasn't there Tim and Ziva walked over smiling, I watched them both as Ziva asked first. "So how did your doctors visit go?"

I watched as Gibbs walked in, I stretched again and ran my hands through my hair, I had let it down today. I stood up undid my badge and gun walked over to Gibbs; "Boss if you don't take these I will have to talk to Vance. The doctor says my right ear is never going to heal but my left ear will heal almost completely. Sorry Boss I am not staying here because all I can do here is a desk job."

I turned around and walked back to my desk, I started to unpack my back pack, setting down all the forensics tools I had and started to load my personal gear in there. Did I want someone else joining the team and having his six besides me? Hell no, but if I stayed on desk duty I wouldn't have his back anyway. Not being able to go out in the field would drive me mad. Gibbs walked over and started to help me get my things in a box that he got cause there was too much to get in my back pack. Tim walked over looked to me he was picking at his hands. "Say what you got to McGee huh?"

He stood straight up, he knew I had called him on being nervous, he had been getting better since he worked here but something was on his mind and I knew he wanted to say it; "You trained me well Tony, thanks. You're going to stay in D.C right? So we can all stay friend's, you're not going to move back to NYC right?"

I smirked some as I looked at Tim, he was a good man and he had been a good friend. Ziva watched to see what I had to say, I ruffled my hands through my hair again and leaned back to look at him. I grabbed a bottle of water and as I took a long drag I looked at him; "I'm staying in D.C for now, you guys are family and I want to stick around until I decide it's time for me to move on. Plus I think I need to get my hearing back in my left ear then I'll figure things out more."

I grabbed my bag and slung it on my shoulders grabbing the box I walked over and kissed Tim's cheek and smiled; "Make me proud Probie, keep up the good work and be a damn good Senior Agent. Remember you have to watch your boss' back and he has to watch yours, the same goes with Ziva, you two protect yourselves. You have proved yourself and made me very proud to have been teaching you."

I walked out, he was in shock and I could tell Ziva was too, Tim had blushed as I had kissed his cheek. I would talk to Abby later I didn't really want to talk to her as well. I pressed the button and felt someone take the box from my hand, it was Gibbs. We got in the elevator, for now we were silent and we walked out to were my car was, he helped me put the things in the trunk and he stopped me; "Have dinner with me tonight, we finished this case and its Friday night, I have tomorrow off?"

I took a deep breath as I looked at him, I twiddled with my hair. I was missing time with the team and mostly Gibbs so maybe hanging out with him would work out okay; "Give me a time and a place. I'll meet you there Gibbs, I need to head out to do some business, but I can do dinner."

He told me to meet him at his place at 20:00 I nodded and I got in my car and drove off. I had some business to do and I needed to drop these things at my place. I had got to my apartment and I started to do some work when it started. I dropped to the floor in pain holding my head falling into a fetal position. I took my cell out and called Gibbs didn't know when he answered so I kept saying over and over. "Gibbs pain can't move hurts Gibbs help."

I don't know what happen next because I had passed out. When I woke up I sat up fast in bed, I was in my own room and Gibbs walked in, sat down and looked at me signin. "Ducky gave you a shot for the pain. He looked you over and he said he talked to your doctor. Apparently because your ear is healing you will get these moments of pain. But the pain well get better and it won't be so bad."

Ducky walked in and sat down, he started to take my vitals and I closed my eyes as I leaned back onto the pillows. Ducky finished what he was doing, I had opened my eyes, feeling a shot go into my arm, he looked at me, when he saw my eyes were open he started talking. "The pain will get better. I got a hold of the doctor he has told me to just give you a shot when it happens but I am worried about you living alone while your ear is healing. I wish you would stay with Gibbs he has enough vacation time he is willing to take it off."

I shook my head, hell I didn't want anyone taking care of me, I needed to learn to take care of myself. I laid down on my side as I pulled a pillow to my chest and nuzzled my head in the pillow under my head. I pulled the covers over me, I was feeling cold and I closed my eyes as I felt Ducky stand he patted my head like I was a kid. Well we were all his kids in some way, it certainly seemed most of the time.

I felt hands rubbing my back after a while, Gibbs was good at knowing when I was still awake so I sat up looked at him sighing and speaking softly. "I've been taking care of myself since I was thirteen Gibbs. I only know how to take care of myself, I don't know how to let others take care of me. I was the only person they got out of the car before it exploded, they were all dead and I have only had myself. I always thought, why get close to people so I can lose another family? But NCIS shoved me into a family and I love them all."

I started to cry softly as he pulled me in to his arms his hands slid in to my hair holding my head to his chest as I started to cry harder, I babbled about how much I missed them and I wanted my family back. I wanted Kate back she had been the sister I never had and I wanted them all back, it wasn't fair that they left me they had no right. I just clung to him trembling as I nuzzled my head in to his neck and whispered against his neck. "I know what it was like for you to lose them Gibbs it had to hurt to lose your daughter and wife. It had to tear you apart for so long, I still have not got over my parents and brother dieing like that and leaving me here. Sometimes I think I am alone."

He pulled me back so I could see his face, I could see pain in his eyes so I kissed him softly and stroked his face, I shouldn't have opened my mouth, I moved back blushing and looked at him as my fingers brushed his cheek delicately and whispered. "Sorry I know I shouldn't bring up Shannon and Kelly I know you miss them Jethro."

He wiped some tears from my face and he looked me in the face as he pulled me close but not to close were I couldn't see his lips. "I know you lost your family, that was something that I always felt a connection with you about. Yes we are your family and we all care about you. I have not let myself love another woman since Shannon but you have shown me that I can love again and it's hard to believe that I feel in love with you."

I didn't mind not hearing other peoples voices but I missed hearing Gibbs' voice. It always calmed me and made me feel safe. But know just his eyes were doing that for me. His eyes always showed that he cared for us and the toughness there wasn't that of a mean man, it was that of a leader protecting his team. "Please don't say you love me Jethro. I am not someone to have that kind of feeling for or someone to have faith that I won't hurt you. I'm not good at relationships, hell I think this is a bad idea even if I want to be with you. I would rather protect you."

He lowered his head and kissed me deeply he brought his hands along my stomach, as he pulled me on to his lap he looked in to my eyes as he kissed me again I softly moaned sliding hands along his chest. He sat me on the bed and looked me in the eyes. "Everyone that goes in to a relationship knows there is going to be pain and there is going to be joy. Don't give up please, I want to fight this 'cause I want to be with you, give me a chance please Tony, I want to have a second chance to love someone and have them close to me."

I nodded some maybe he was right he would always be there through anything with me. He kissed me slowly and pressed me to the bed as we slowly made love. I slide my hands along his chest and his body afterwards falling asleep with my head on his chest I had finally found what I needed in life a man to love and a family.

~Finished~