It´s just great how every year int ime for Christmas I get sick.......

Well, that could not stop me from writing this. But I don´t like how it turned out. I´m really sorry if it seems rushed or anything like that.

And again: thank you very much for all your reviews

.::part 3::.

Should have done better than this

"Are you coming home as a surprise?"

The touch of Jacob's smooth skin on her own pale hand was so warm and tender that Bella could not help but constantly stare at their intertwined hands, marvelling at the contrast in color and size.

It was so distracting….

"Earth to Bella!"

"Ehm… excuse me. What did you say?"

"I was asking if you were coming home for Christmas as a surprise," Jacob repeated patiently, his voice as smooth as his touch.

"No. My father called and… asked me to come home. My mother will be there, too. So I thought I could not leave them alone together."

"Divorced?"

"Yes. But… that was long ago. I was a baby back then. They get along pretty well. But… we never spent Christmas together before. They try really hard to get me back."

Jacob's grasp on Bella's hand tightened a little as he gracefully pulled her through a crowd of Chinese tourists, chattering loudly and although Bella understood nothing of what they were saying she understood from the way they talked. They were angry and frustrated.

Oddly enough… Bella was not anymore.

"So, just that I get it right: you left home for whatever reason, did not return for four years for said reason and are literally forced to return now even though you are scared and don´t want to?"

"Maybe… I guess I'm more metaphorically scared. There is nothing to be afraid of really."

"Then I don´t get the problem," Jacob said with pure curiosity in his eyes and voice, his head turned to the side so he could look at Bella who could not quite keep up with his pace.

Bella could not look. Could not let herself be distracted by his stare, as well.

Clumsiness was her middle name and it was already a fight not to trip while pressing her tiny frame through all those people, clinging to Jacob's hand almost desperately.

"It´s… memories. There will be memories and I don´t… I'm not to keen on being remember of some things," she muttered, hoping her voice would be drowned out in the noises penetrating her ears from all sides.

But he understood her more than well.

"Don´t tell me you left because of a guy?"

A stabbing twitch, the echo of a long forgotten, long choked pain crept through Bella's chest, biting at her heart in a way it had not for four years now.

Memories of copper hair, golden eyes, cold, marble skin, diamonds in the sunlight and piano playing flooded Bella's mind, memories she had for so long ignored and tried to convince herself that they were part of a long dream, of a time that was too unreal.

"Are you okay?"

A different echo reverberated in her ears, in her heart, in her every cell.

Black hair, black, caring eyes, too-warm, tender skin and the sunshine-like gloom in every tone and action.

Bella had not realized that she had stopped walking until she felt a warm pressure on her right shoulder, the warmth spreading all the way into the roots of her hair and her toes.

"Bella?"

A landslide of goose bumps and shiver ran down Bella's entire body as she heard the soft, tender tone – the melodic whisper of her name and for the first time in over four years Bella started to believe. Believe that maybe there really were other people out there who could feel as much as he had, or as she had believed he had.

Believe that there were more than one person meant for her, that there were possibilities and chances.

Before she could stop herself or even consciously make the decision she let her body fall forward, welcoming the soft and warm wall she met there, her hands encircling Jacob's stomach, pressing her body close to his, fisting his shirt as the tears finally, after all these years, spilled over.

Bella waited for rejection to crush her, to suck the newfound gloom of hope out of her strained mind. This was, after all, nothing a sane person would ever do. Throwing themselves at strangers like a homeless dog. But then again, when do you find such hope in the presence of that stranger?

Rejection was what Bella expected – but it never came.

Instead she felt two warm arms wrapping around her fragile frame, pulling her closer, keeping her grounded. Keeping the hope alive.

She felt herself move but could not tell how or where… or even how long. All Bella could focus on was the warm, strong, tender hold around her – a closeness and security she had not felt for so long.

But she suddenly felt her legs stop moving and everything was quiet. Too quiet.

Slowly and precariously she opened her eyes, her view diffuse and blurry because of all the pent-up salty tears and she hastily tried to blink the curtain away.

"Where are we?"

It was an empty hallway, clinic-like grey floor, white walls – sterile and uncomfortable. But empty and quiet.

There was never an answer .

Bella suddenly felt the ground being pulled away underneath her feet which caused her to cling even more tightly to Jacob who slowly sank to the ground, leaning against the wall, keeping Bella's shaking body close to his, her legs falling awkwardly to the each side of his thighs.

"Are you okay?" Jacob said, almost whispering, repeating his earlier question.

His finger carefully tilted up Bella's chin and when their eyes met Bella saw nothing but honest compassion which caused her heart to flutter.

Their moment was short-lived, though when Bella suddenly realized how inappropriately close they were, in what kind of a position and what she was doing here.

Her cheeks blushed crimson red and in an awkwardly situated backward-move she tried to remove her unwilling body and create some distance.

But as so often she lost her balance, swaying oddly from side to side and before she could fall flat on the cold ground Jacob caught her, his hands tightly grasping her shoulders.

"I'm sorry… if I brought up anything you… that hurt you," Jacob said, slightly avoiding Bella's gaze as he looked down into his lap.

"No, no, no. Don't be sorry," Bella rushed, feeling unusually bolt and she mirrored Jacob's earlier act, tilting his chin up with her finger, smiling shyly.

"It was a good thing. You were right…. I'm running away. But…. maybe not anymore."

Confusion was plastered on Jacob's face and Bella could not hinder her short-lived and rare laughter to echo in the empty hallway.

"I was…. young. And stupid. Clinging too much and when he left… there was, of course, nothing left. Only memories that made me suffer. That´s why I left right after graduation. Because I could not stand… being around."

It was all Bella could manage paraphrasing. The truth – but not even a tenth of it.

Her version of the story, of her story, did not include myths and fairytales and vampires and danger.

It merely sounded like the everyday-dilemma of a teenage girl.

"Okay…," Jacob said, releasing a breath he had obviously been holding while Bella had stuttered out her story.

"Maybe it´s time to forget…," Bella whispered more to herself than to Jacob, her finger still brushing against the skin of his chin and jaw.

"What are you doing now?"

"What?"

"In New York. What was your great escape?"

There it was: the mischievous, boyish grin and Bella could not help herself but laugh, Jacob joining in soon after and Bella clutched her free hand to her aching stomach.

"Nothing, really. I'm undecided. At the moment I work in a book store. And you? What are you doing?"

"Nothing, really. I'm undecided," Jacob quoted her, theatrically shrugging his broad shoulders. "We're two pretty messed up people, he?"

Bella just nodded, amazed by the ease she felt. Previously her life had been defined by her constant inner struggle and the past she longed so much for. But now… it was just this moment, this effortlessness. Right now.

"Do you know my father?"

Jacob shook his head, "Not really. I guess I've seen him a couple of times. But I never talked to him in person."

"So he never put you in jail?"

Bella raised her eyebrows and pulled up the left corner of her mouth.

"Every week. Every week."

"Your poor parents," Bella said, laughter suffocating her phrase and she felt a foreign tingle in her chest – like the feeling when your leg awakens after being numb for too long. A strange mixture of pain, anxiousness, anticipation and satisfaction. Life.

"Oh, my father would probably have put me in the basement for a week."

"And your mother? She wouldn't approve of that, would she?"

If Bella had not literally been staring at Jacob's face she would never have noticed she slight change in his expression, the splint second in which a flash of pain shot through his sunshine-eyes.

Weakness. A prove that he was real.

"My mother died in a car accident when I was a child.," he finally said, keeping his voice calm – the humour all but gone.

"Oh… I´m sorry."

"That was a long time ago. So… what'll the chief of police get for Christ-"

Before Jacob could finish his question Bella had leaned forward quickly before her courage had left her and the second she felt his warm, soft lips press against her own she knew that there really was a chance.

Millions and billions of opportunities out there. Waiting for her.

The time of years passing by was over.

The last part will be up tomorrow - some lemonade for Christmas Eve ;)