I thought I was going to throw up. Really, I wish I hadn't eaten breakfast. It was sheer luck that I had managed to make it all the way to the common room, up the stairs, to my bed, period. Let alone without puking.

Oh I felt sick, I felt really, really sick. When Kim and Alice got back from Transfiguration, they looked at me with abject horror.

"Jen!" Shrieked Alice, "What's wrong with you?" I was flopped over the side of my bed, head and arms hanging over once side, legs hitting the floor on the other. My stomach was in my throat.

"Urmph." Was all I managed.

"I told you she must have been sick—she never misses transfiguration." Kim said worriedly. Oh Kim, poor Kim. What would she say when she found out what I'd done?

"Come on," Alice picked me up by one arm, motioning for Kim to grab the other, "We're going to the Hospital Wing."

Fifteen minutes of ineffectual protesting, and one calming drought later I had stopped shaking, and was lying, ashen, in a hospital bed. I felt bad being there. I felt bad missing transfiguration. I felt weak, but every time I thought of going to that dance with Jake I just started to dry heave. The official prognosis was that I was just shaken up, nothing was medically wrong with me. And now that we were alone, I had to confess.

"You're going with Jake?" Alice exploded, "Jake?!"

Kim said nothing, just looked down at her hands, feeling my betrayal I was sure.

"Jake?!"

"I know, I know, just let me explain—"

"You'd better." Muttered Alice, glaring. "What happened to going gaga for Remus?"

"See, that's how it happened though…" And I was forced to recount the whole, sad story. "I didn't mean to though, honest!" I finished, a bit desperate. "You know I hate Jake! It was just, I was just…"

"I understand," Kim said soothingly. I breathed a bid sigh of relief.

"Really?"

"Well, no. But I forgive you anyway."

I smiled at her.

"You're the best."

"I don't understand," Alice cut in, "Two weeks ago you throw your drink in this guy's face. Now he wants to date. He's never looked twice at you before. No offense."

"Yeah well, it gets worse. I asked him the same thing, right? I mean, it didn't make sense. And he said…and he said that he never noticed how," I winced, "Hot I was until I was standing in front of him, looking all furious." And then, though I don't need to mention this aloud, he tucked and strand of hair behind me ear and jokingly made me promise I'd never throw a drink in his face again. I had said no guarantees, to which he had laughed cockily. I had felt that need to vomit that was creeping in on me ever since. Sort of because even though I knew he was a total, complete and utter ass, he was still sickeningly attractive. But I loathed him, of course. "What do I do?" I cried in anguish.

"Dump him."

"Hard."

"In public."

"Yeah," I agreed, "but I can't just show up dateless. I'm sure Remus will be going with someone."

"Girl," Said Kim, "We will find you a date. There is no way, absolutely no way, you have to degrade yourself by going with Jake."

Alice took it a step farther, "We'll find you someone better than Remus."

I scoffed. Not possible.

"Yeah," Kim agreed, "I mean, the guy is kind of…weird. I mean he's nice enough. He just has this vibe, it's kind of scary."

"I noticed that too!" Alice said, and I disagreed internally. Scary? Maybe, if you were scared of puppies. "We'll find you someone with a nice, normal vibe."

They were both smiling, separate schemes no doubt forming in their minds. I pulled the covers over my face.

-

I had to go to transfiguration the next day and get my make-up work, as well as explain why I wasn't there the previously. I went with the classic, 'I wasn't feeling well' instead of the real reason 'I fell into a horrified stupor after being rejected by possibly the hugest crush I've ever had and then accepting a date from another boy who makes me feel like vomiting.' Luckily, I was so pale and apparently disgusting looking that fake excuse worked just fine.

I sighed, walking out with a huge stack of paper in my arms. Make-up work and homework. Horrors. I started to space out as I walked down the hall, wondering how I was going to turn down Jake, who I had vigorously avoided since the 'incident' as I now remembered it. I wondered if I could even buck up the courage to ask someone else, my confidence being shattered. Even turning down Jake might take more than I had. My shoulders were slumping, and a gross cloud of depression seemed to be hanging over my head. My stomach growled, the unhappiness was only magnified by the fact that I hadn't gone down to breakfast this morning to avoid seeing, well, do I really have to say? Urrg. Then, some first year ran into me, being chased by a laughing friend whose wand was sparking, and my huge stack of papers fell to the floor. Oh, it so figured.

I knelt down and began to pick up my work, wishing again that I had brought my bag so I could just shove them in. I could use a spell to pick them up, sure, but kneeling on the cold stone floor to clean up this manageable mess just seemed more fitting. I was almost done when a cool, calloused finger brushed mine. My heart jumped before I even looked up to confirm my suspicions. It was Remus.

He handed me the rest of my papers.

"Thanks." I smiled. There were butterflies in my stomach sure, but I suddenly felt more confident. The worst that could happen had happened. Now I just needed to get over it. The fact that I now knew he was inaccessible somehow made talking with him so much easier.

We fell into stride as we walked back towards the Gryfindor common room. I no longer found the silence that awkward, just silent. I broke it none-the-less.

"So, no weirdness about what happened, right?"

"No weirdness," Remus assured me. "In fact, I was thinking we could head down to lunch together?"

"That sounds good." It sounded more than good, seeing as I was starving.

So, I dropped off my work, and we did indeed head down to lunch together.

"So," Remus started eventually, "You're going to the Masquerade with Jake?"

"Looks like." I tried to smile, but I think it ended up more like a teeth-baring grimace. He didn't seem to notice.

"That's cool."

"Mmhmm." It was not. I had to ask what came out of my mouth next, I couldn't help myself, "How about you? Asked anyone?"

"Oh I," He swallowed, looking uncomfortable, "don't actually know if I'm going."

"No?"

"No."

I shrugged, letting it drop and focusing on my delicious food. I wanted to know why, but I wasn't going to push it. Mmm. Magically delicious and low in calories. My favorite kind of food.

"Met you're vampire yet?" He asked me.

"No!" I laughed, frustrated, "Just silk worms! We have to take care of them for a month!"

"That's rough."

"You have no idea." I said, as straight faced as possible.

He laughed then, and it was a wonderful, musical sound. I smiled and bit my lip to keep it from spreading too far. I wouldn't let myself go there. Not again.