Chapter 3: Sonny With a Chance of Heartbreak
It was a cold Saturday morning in the California winter. Today was a day of break. After all that had happened just a mere week before, Marshall decided that I needed a chance to cool off and relax. There was nothing I had wanted more than to spend the day with Chad, but he, as much as it discouraged me, was on vacation and woudn't be back for a few more days.
When my mother showed up at the studio, I was sure what to say to her. Part of me just wanted to fall into her awaiting arms. I wanted her to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be alright. I wanted her to tell me that this was all just one of those terrible nightmares that I would awake screaming from when I was little. Than, another part of me wanted to push her away. She had no right to hold me and tell me that she loved me. All she had done was lie to me, and a part of me felt that I could never forgive her.
"Sonny," she said, taking my hands in hers which I didn't pull away from, "there's something that we really need to talk about."
I invited her into my dressing room, taking into a deep breath to brace myself for whatever she had planned to say. "What?"
"Sonny," my mom began, her eyes darting around the room as she seemed just as desperate as I was to find some form of distraction, "your real mother came to me last night. She said that she wanted to have you back, and that she wouldn't stop until she did."
"So?" I asked, pacing around as I tried to imagine where this conversation may be going. None of my theories ended well.
"So, she said that she would be willing to take this case to court," my mother finished. "When I took you in, I never got any of the paperwork done. Legally, you're still her daughter."
My heart crashed and I felt like I was about to pass out. I could barely pull a legitimate amount of oxygen into my lungs as my mind struggled to comprehend what she was saying. Everything I had ever known had been nothing but lies. My mother wasn't even my adopted mother. She wasn't my mother at all.
"So, where does that leave us?" I asked, biting my lower lip to choke back the tears.
My mother's gaze remained locked on mine. I could see the salt-water droplits fill her eyes as she looked me up and down. Despite the amount of resentment that I had built up against her, seeing her like that, I found myself wrapping my arms around her, wanting nothing but to make her happy. She gripped me tightly, continuously whispering my name and how much she loved me. It was then that I knew, no matter what happened, neither of us would give up without a fight.
"Sweetheart," my mother began again, reluctantly pulling away from out embrace, "there may be another way."
"What are you talking about?" I questioned, swiping at the droplets that began to pour from my eyes in a mirror fashion to hers.
"She told me, that if you were willing to go with her, she wouldn't bring the case to court," my mother explained.
"How is that a solution to anything?" I practically screamed, storming around the room as I tried to push away thoughts of my departure. "I would still have to go with her. I'd still be leaving you, and So Random, and everything!"
"Sonny, calm down. I wasn't finished."
I turned to look at her, taking in another deep breath as I desperately searched for some composure. My mother was staring at me yearningly, begging for me to listen, so I did.
"Sonny," she repeated my name as though it were a foreign word to her, "if you go with her, she says that she won't take the matter to court. She also said, that if you can't find happiness with her, she'll let you return home to me."
My mind seemed to have gone blank. I was watching my mother, listening to every word that flew from her mouth, but none of it seemed to register in my mind. "I don't understand."
My mother wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "Sweetheart, think of it almost like a foreign exchange project," she explained. "If you go with her for a couple of weeks, all you'll have to do is say the word when, and she'll let you come home."
"But, I don't want to go with her!" I shrieked, wondering why she was even suggesting something so absolutely absurd. "You're telling me to go with some complete stranger!"
"I know how it sounds, Sonny. I had to tell myself repeatedly before I could even believe it myself," she replied, cradling my face in her clammy hands. "But this is the only way. If she brings the case to court, I won't stand a chance of keeping you. This way, she'll comply and allow you to stay with me. It's the only way," she repeated again.
After a moment of complete confusion, I found myself nodding my head obediently. If this was the only way, we would take it. I tried to telll myself, we weren't giving in. This was only the beginning.