Chapter 4: Sonday with Silvia
On Sunday morning, I felt like I was caught in a terrible nightmare when 'my mother' arrived at the studio, waiting for me to pack my bags. When my mom had told me that I would have to leave, I hadn't considered the fact that it might be so soon. I hadn't even gotten a chance to say goodbye.
Tawni helped me pack, telling me that most of my clothes weren't worth bringing anyways. "New York is like the shopping capital of America," Tawni had said, while holding up my favorite pair of old blue jeans. "Do you really think they want to see you in these rags?"
Instead of defending my clothes, I found myself thinking about how much I would miss her insults. I thought about how much I would miss her talks about herself, how much I would miss the laughs, the fights, everything. Tawni didn't seem to notice my mood. Instead, she simply continued to complain about each outfit that she pulled out of my closet with the few exceptions of a pink blouse, a pair of heels, a belt, and a mini skirt that she absentmindedly tossed into my still half-empty suitcase. Part of me wanted to reach into the bag and toss everything out. Maybe than I would have a few more moments with my friend. However, my mom's voice continued to echo in my head, and I knew that she was right. The only way to win was to give in.
"Here," Tawni said, reaching into her own closet and handing me a nice red dress and a white fur sweater. "Trust me when I say that you need these much more than I do," she said, trying to laugh it off but slightly choking on her words. She folded them up and placed them gently in my suitcase as if they were a newborn baby.
"Why are you giving me this?" I asked, staring up at Tawni.
Her superior look faded for a moment before she replaced it brightly back on her face. "Well, the last thing we need is for you to go to New York and completely disgrace So Random by wearing what you usually consider to be clothes," she said, waving her hand in the air to say that it was no big deal. "And maybe it would be nice for you to have something to remember me by," she mumbled, turning away and shielding her face from my view.
"Oh, Tawni!" I practically screamed, pulling her into a tight embrace.
"Oh, Sonny," Tawni replied, "please get off of me."
I pulled away, smiling at her. "You know I'll never forget you!"
"You'd better not," Tawni replied. "Forgetting me would mean forgetting all the fashion advice that I've given you. The last thing we need is you buying more rags."
I wanted to be insulted, just like before. I wanted to complain and tell her that I would be happy to get away from her snottiness, but I knew that I wouldn't. There was nothing that I wanted more than to tell her to keep the dress and sweater because I wouldn't be moving to New York. But I would. Today, I would be saying goodbye to everything that had meant the most to me in the last couple of months. In a few hours, I would be on a plane to a new life.
The hardest part of the whole thing was trying to say goodbye to my mom. As we stared each other in the face, we both found ourselves be at a complete loss for words. Instead, she simply pulled me into her arms and held me as I softly cried onto her shoulder. Although I knew that she was trying to be strong, the whole time I could feel gentle drops falling into my hair.
Silvia, the woman who insisted that I call her mom, ushered me out of the room before I truly felt ready to say goodbye. Of course, I knew that I would never be ready to say goodbye.
As we slid into the back of a cab, Silvia launched into a story of how much she missed me. She explained that she had been completely devastated after she gave me up, but she knew that at sixteen, she was nowhere near ready to have a kid. She talked about her her boyfriend, my father, had left her, and how her parents wanted nothing to do with her if she decided to keep me. That was what told her that she had to give me to a good family that would be able to afford me and take care of me. I wanted to yell at her and tell her that that was just a bunch of bull, but I didn't want to piss her off. If I was going to be stuck with her, I would rather her treat me fairly because she liked me.
I was relieved to find that our seats were nowhere near each other on the plane. While she sat near the front with some girls in bikini's, I sat next to an Asian man with a computer, and a girl who appeared to be about twelve. I lay back in my seat, closing my eyes and trying to imagine myself back with my friends, filming another sketch for So Random.
"You look upset. What's the matter?" the girl asked, her poorly cut black hair falling over her face. She swept it back with a brush of her hand, her eyes intent on me.
"It's a long story," I explained.
The girl gasped, her blue eyes practically bulging out of her head. "You're Sonny Monroe from So Random!" she practically screamed, drawing the attention of the other passengers. "I love the Check It Out Girls sketch!"
"Thanks," I mumbled, half-heartedly trying to get her to lower her voice.
"Why are you going to New York?" she questioned, now beaming with a newfound excitement.
"It's a really long story," I repeated. "Basically, I'm about to spend some time with family that I hadn't really known I had."
"Wow, sounds harsh," the girl replied, although I had the feeling that she had no clue what I was feeling. "Anyway, my name's Megan. I'm sure you'll like New York. The people aren't always very friendly, but the shopping is nice, and there are a lot of places to see."
"Thanks," I mumbled, although those things were the least of my worries. I wondered what Tawni was doing right now. I wondered if any of my friends might be thinking about me.
"Is there a way that I might be able to be part of the So Random audience?" Megan asked, still smiling brightly at me. "Oh, there's nothing I would want more."
I looked at her, managing to muster up a smile. "I'll try," I told her. The same way I would try to get out of her as fast as I could.