This little snippit probably sounds as though I was drunk when I wrote it. I wasn't. I promise. I was merely under the influence of fizzy drinks. It is a bit strange, I warn you.

Suffragette Pride and Prejudice (very loosely based on chapter 3)

"Votes for women!" called Elizabeth Bennet, from the rather undignified position of being chained to the gate of the local prospective Tory MP, one Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy, who, as it happened, had just arrived in his brand new motor car. He mostly lived in nearer to town, and claimed expenses on his house there, costing the tax payer millions – but no one would realise this for another hundred years, but once they did they wouldn't let go of it.*

"No taxation without representation!" she called, boldly, and he turned to look at her

"Good heavens, women," he remarked, "I say, what are you doing stuck to my gate?"

"I am stuck here as all women are chained in society!" she cried, melodramatically, "and I shall remain here until I have the suffrage,"

"Well, I say," he replied, somewhat bemused by her antics, "You do realise, of course, that I could have you removed from there instantly, what?" he paused, "so, it is a tolerable proposal, but certainly not enough to tempt me,"

"I say, Mr Darcy," she called again, "If you don't start thinking about votes for women soon, I shall smash your windows in!"

"How delightful," he said, "Now, do unchain yourself from my gate,"

"I can't,"

"Why ever not?"

"Because I am chained to it,"

"Oh," Mr Darcy commented, upon the realisation of the problem having dawned on him, and began to walk away.

"I don't like you, Mr Darcy," she said, "you are ridiculous,"

"I don't like you either," he replied, whilst noting the fine qualities of her eyes.

"You are conceited and disagreeable," she retorted, "and shockingly rude. Once I am unchained from this gate I will throw bricks through your windows,"

At this, Mr Darcy walked away, leaving Elizabeth Bennet still chained to his gate, which served her right.

*This isn't technically historically correct.

I told you it was weird. I warned you, didn't I?

Next time: Magical Pride and Prejudice