I rolled over and sighed.
Alone.
Again.
And sadly awake.
My hands ran through my curly hair, scratching and pulling, attempting to comfort my solitude. It didn't seem to help. After two long lonely years, I was still in the same small apartment watching the same headlights appear and disappear against the same ceiling at three o'clock in the morning.
It's better this way, I thought. It's better being by yourself. No one to look after, no one to restrict you, no one to hurt you…
It had been two years to the day since the love of my sad, pathetic excuse for a life left me. She left me for her boss and my supposed best friend. Edward and Alice Masen, I sneered silently. He invited me to his bachelor party. They invited me to their wedding. They even invited me to their baby shower last month. I suppose this was all in an attempt to make nice after betraying me; I haven't spoken with either of them, let alone seen them, in two years.
She left me after I had tried everything to keep her with me, to convince her to stay. I had proposed to her on multiple occasions and she somehow wiggled her way out of answering each time, smiling as she politely turned me down. Her working hours got later, she was gone during the weekends, and I was completely oblivious. She remained with me for a whole year while being with Edward behind my back. She broke me and rendered me useless.
Utterly fucking useless.
My eyes started stinging with a familiar pain that I swallowed down and held inside. I shook my head as I got out of bed and threw on a pair of sweats and sweatshirt. My dresser drawer creaked as I opened it to search for a pair of socks. After finding some, I grabbed my running shoes and went downstairs to the living room. As I tied my shoes, I attempted to strengthen my resolve.
You are becoming a sad excuse for a man with your moping and melancholy. Grow some damn balls and get over it. You are Jasper Fucking Whitlock – no one holds you down. You own your life. Don't let them keep you from enjoying it.
I opened the door and the brisk Minnesota autumn air hit my face. Living in downtown Minneapolis definitely had its advantages in that I was close to everything. Since I couldn't sleep, I decided to run to the gym and burn off my hostility. I threw my hood over my head and started jogging. My jog started slow, but I knew this was just the beginning. As I allowed the events of the past two years flood my mind, my pace quickened. Soon I was running. After that, my leisurely jog turned into a race from everything: my failure, my brokenness.
I was sprinting. I was running for my life.
From my life.
Right when I thought that I couldn't take another breath, I arrived at the front door of my destination. I opened the doors to the gym and collapsed on the bench near the front doors. As I heaved to get oxygen to my lungs, my eyes stung with tears of pent up frustration. My hands covered my face and I rocked back and forth. I reached my limit. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I wept quietly; I let everything come to the surface.
I knew that it was time to move forward – but how?
Suddenly a hand came to my shoulder and squeezed gently. "Excuse me, are you alright?"
Startled, I wiped my eyes and looked up into wide, chocolate-brown eyes. Beautiful eyes, I might add. She stared back and smiled sweetly.
"Are you okay?" She repeated.
I nodded.
"Do you want anything? Is there anything that I can get you?" She was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I smiled at the thought that we matched. I sensed something from her; she looked as though she was genuine. She meant that she wanted to help.
"I'm alright – just one hell of a run," I forced a smile.
"I guess so," she whispered as she pulled her hand off of my shoulder after squeezing it slightly. Her dark brown hair was pulled into a loose messy ponytail at the base of her neck. "My name is Bella Swan. I think that I have seen you somewhere before. Do you live around here?"
The thought of her noticing me made my heart jump a little. "Yes. I live in the lower level lofts a block off of Washington."
"That's it! I live next door to you. You really like listening to The Beatles loud on Thursday nights." She teased. Her cheeks flushed against her ivory skin. Bella glanced up at my through thick lashes and bit her full bottom lip to hold back a smile. How come I never noticed her before?
"I'm Jasper. Jasper Whitlock." I extended my hand out to her and she took it quickly. She was so warm; it had been years since I had felt the touch of a woman and I had never felt anything as soft and stimulating as Bella. Perhaps it's been even longer than two years. Alice never felt like this…
"So Jasper, what brings you here so early in the morning?" She squeezed my hand as she shook it.
"Couldn't sleep. You?" I swept my thumb along the top of her hand, grazing her skin. Her breath hitched and her cheeks turned a dark shade of crimson
Bella nodded and squeezed my hand again before dropping it to her side. "Same," she sighed.
"Well then…" I sighed at the loss of her skin against mine. "You coming or going?"
She blushed again as I realized the way the question came across. I laughed, "I meant, are you…"
"I knew what you meant. I'm just leaving." Bella smiled again at me and shifted her weight on her right leg, jutting her hip out. Her baggy clothes left much to the imagination and I realized that I certainly wanted to use more than my imagination with her.
"Would you like me to walk you back home? I mean, to your home?" I asked. Now it was my turn to blush. I sounded like fucking bumbling idiot. You have talked to girls before, moron.
She shook her head no, "I will be fine and you just got here. I'm sure that we will run into each other again soon being neighbors and all."
"Darlin', I sure hope so." I gave my best smile as I looked deep into her eyes again.
" 'Darlin''? You aren't from Minnesota, that's for darn sure." Bella laughed.
" 'Darn sure', huh? You certainly are from Minnesota, darlin'." I let my southern drawl drag heavily.
She lifted an eyebrow approvingly while she smirked. "Have a nice workout, Jasper. Let me know if you need to borrow a cup of sugar sometime. I live in 108."
As she turned to leave, she swayed her hips slightly and looked over her shoulder at me. "You might have me at your door soon. I've been meaning to do some baking." I laughed as I nodded goodbye. "Good night, Ms. Swan."
"Good morning, Mr. Whitlock," she said softly, pursing her lips. Then she was gone.
My head was swimming. I had been so worthless for such a long time that I hadn't even noticed anything, let alone an extremely kind, sexy and captivating woman. I thought back to what I was going through before she approached me. I was right; I did have to move forward. I knew that this was my chance.