I do not own fullmetal alchemist, nor do I own the Tonight show, otherwise Conan wouldn't be in this stupid situation. TEAM CONAN!

Ed was trekking through the thick February snow that lay before him. He was mentally kicking himself because he remembered that he had to remember something today. But unfortunately that was all he remembered. He lost his balance when his automail leg stepped on some ice that was cleverly hidden under some snow. I swear to god, if I fall on my ass one more time, the world will suffer. He got up and looked about to see if anyone had seen this clumsy moment of his. No one seemed to be around so he quickly brushed the slush off his legs and rear. Edward was on his way to the Hughes residence for dinner. He remembered that too, but he also knew it wasn't what he was supposed to remember. He again began kicking himself in the head (metaphorically, of course) until a car pulled up next to him. Ed stopped and watched the figure in the car reach over to roll down the tinted glass. Smoke billowed out of the open window and once it cleared, Ed saw the grinning face of Lt. Havoc.

"Heya chief, need a ride somewhere?" as he spoke, the cigarette hanging loosely out his mouth dropped a considerable amount of ash on his lap. Ed laughed out loud and accepted his offer. Ed liked Havoc quite a bit. He was one of the few sane people he worked with. The Colonel was a fuck-nut, Hawkeye was a little bit trigger-happy, Breda had an unusual fear of dogs, Falman was too quick with random trivia, and Fuery was a bit of a wuss. Havoc seemed to bring a bit of normalcy in the office with him. Ed shook his head to get the wet bangs out of his eyes and opened the door. Once he was seated, Havoc took off again.

"So boss, where'ya off to?" he snuffed out his cigarette in the ashtray and smiled at the teenager.

"Hughes' house. I'm having dinner there and I'm glad I ran into you, because I'm late already." Jean got an understanding look in his eyes.

"Ah, birthday dinner, eh?"

Ed was silent for a moment, but then remembered what it was he remembered to remember. Today was his fifteenth birthday. How did Havoc know? Is it on the office calendar or something? He glanced over at the driver whose face was beet red.

Shit, I said something stupid. Havoc thought to himself. He had a blond moment as he forgot that he too, was on his way to Hughes' house to take part in the surprise party Hughes had been working on for weeks. He just hoped he didn't just ruin the surprise.

Ed broke the silence. "Oh, I guess it is my birthday, isn't it? I totally forgot."

Havoc released the breath he didn't know he was holding.

Good, the kid hasn't caught on yet. So I'm not dead…yet.

The two reached their destination and Ed wasted no time in hopping out and discretely spraying himself with some body spray so he didn't reek of smoke when he walked into the house and receive the inevitable hug from Elicia. Havoc turned the car off and followed Ed to the house. Ed was a bit confused why Havoc chose to follow him to the door, but he supposed he wanted to make sure he got in without any trouble. Ed rapped on the door and waited for someone to answer. Havoc stepped up next to him and slowly took out his camera. The door swung open and Ed was greeted with shouts of surprise and a series of blinding flashes. Ed stumbled back with an arm over his eyes. He blinked a few times and cautiously opened his eyes to see a group of people he recognized standing there with cameras. He was pulled through the door by Hughes and led into the living room. He was forced into an armchair where he was able to get a good look at the other guests. Hawkeye, Breda, Falman, Fuery, Maes, Gracia, Elicia, Al, Winry, and even Colonel Fuck-head were all in the living room singing "happy birthday" to him. He couldn't help but smile when they were finished. He was a tad embarrassed, but he was happy. Something he hadn't been for a while. Hawkeye came over to him, hugged him, and handed him a copy of her father's book on flame alchemy. He thanked her and gave the colonel a smug smirk. His secret was out. The thoroughly bummed-out man shook Ed's hand and gave him an 800 Cenz gift certificate to a local book store. Ed smiled and thanked the man and much to everyone's surprise, didn't call him a bastard. Breda gave Ed a pair of fingerless gloves, Feury gave him a warm hoodie with his name stitched into it, Winry gave Ed lightweight Armor plates for his automail, Al gave him a winter jacket that matched the red cloak he always wore, and Falman gave the boy a pine tree air freshener. Everyone chuckled and the poor kid was never more confused. Despite the seemingly last-minute gift from Falman, Ed thanked him. Ed thanked everyone and started to blush. Hughes walked up to him and roughly pulled him from his chair and looked him in the eyes.

"There's still one more gift, kiddo." He grinned like an idiot and pulled Ed by the hand outside and to the garage on the East side of the house. Everyone followed and had their cameras out again. Maes stopped before the door and beckoned Havoc over. Havoc lit a cigarette and stood next to the older man.

"Edward," Maes began, "This gift is from Havoc and I. We know you are growing up and could use a bit more freedom. We're giving this to you because we know you are a responsible young man and we know we can trust you." He nodded his head towards the mob and they went in the side door of the garage with cameras ready. The two men pushed Ed towards the large garage door and Hughes handed Ed the remote. The boy hesitated before curiosity got the best of him and he pushed the button with his thumb. The door opened slowly and after it did Ed looked around trying to see what the fuss was all about. He saw the two cars and boxes filled with holiday lights that Hughes still had not put away. However something caught his eye. One of the cars had a vanity plate that said ELRIC on it. His jaw dropped and not a second later, the flashes began again. If Hughes had not had his hands on Ed's shoulders, he might have fainted. The color was the same as his favorite coat and the round headlights had demonic eyelids on it. This red Pontiac seemed to stare into his soul. He absent mindedly walked towards it and ran his flesh hand along the metal curves. He was broken from his trance when Winry, Hawkeye and Gracia said, "Men," simultaneously. Ed sprinted back to the two men and knocked them over with the biggest hug he could muster. Again with the flashing. Havoc handed Ed the key and instructed him on how to start it. After a bit of fumbling with the gears, the car roared to life. Ed's hands were wrapped around the wheel and his left knuckle was white. He wanted so badly to drive it, but he had no idea how to do so. Havoc sat down next to him and patted his shoulder.

"I'll teach ya to drive it tomorrow, boss." Ed smiled brightly at him, got out, and ran smack into Mustang.

"You're in good hands Fullmetal, Havoc is the best driver I know."

AN: I saw a car on the road and the FMA geek that I am, I thought to myself that that's the kind of car Ed would drive. Here's what it looks like: .com/images/cars/hf09/HF09_r148_