Quiets nights are found
Sometimes far and few between
Peace of mind achieved
Epic Eleven: One Of Those Times
The wind blew softly from her higher vantage point, the breeze lightly ruffling the strands of hair that had fallen out of her bun. Momo had been so tired earlier, that she hadn't bothered to take it out when she went to sleep. Uncurling her knees, she lifted her arms and head off of them to remove the loose style. She put her clips in the cloth used to cover her hair and wrapped it into a small square so she could hang onto it better.
Her hair was free to flow now, and by letting her hair down, she felt as if she released some of her tension as well. She brought her knees back up so she could lean on them, and she took a moment to just listen, hearing nothing but the wind and occasionally a distant word from one of the patrols out.
She liked sitting up here on the roof, especially when the moon chose to shine like it was. It was peaceful, and for a moment, it reminded her of home, back when they were just children in Rukongai and soul reapers were a thing of the distant future.
She sighed. Sometimes she missed those days.
Everything used to be simpler, and even if she chose this path for herself, she couldn't help wanting to revisit some of those times. Back then she actually understood the people around her, even if that was limited to two. Now she had no idea how to read people, and she wasn't just around Toshiro or her grandmother. She had no idea what her childhood friend was thinking. She didn't even know how she was supposed to act around him anymore.
She closed her eyes, willing herself not to think about it. All of those thoughts just brought up everything that had happened, and she wasn't going to be able to sleep any time soon if she kept it on the forefront of her mind. The images from her dream were still sharp, and she didn't dare drift off while she was still mulling over them.
His face. She just couldn't erase the look of his face from her mind. She shuddered, curling her arms around her knees to draw them closer to herself.
Sighing, she mentally counted how far back she had fallen from her progress with Toshiro. Things had seemed like they were going so well too, but she should've known that things would never be that easy. Still, determination and drive to push onwards could only take her so far. To a point, it didn't matter how hard she tried if the other party wasn't interested in complying.
She put her head down on her knees. Right now, she didn't know if burying her past even mattered to Toshiro. He had always been somewhat distant, being just a part of his personality, but it seemed now that he was doing it on purpose.
"Oh, I'm sure you don't."
No matter how much it might've been called for, it still hurt. It really wasn't like that, at least not anymore. She had enough time to mull it over and know that she was wrong. She may have done things that she shouldn't have, but wasn't that a part of being human? Everyone made mistakes, she just didn't see why some others were allowed to let go of them easier than others.
She couldn't despair over it forever though, and she felt that little spark of life flare up slightly inside her. She wouldn't let herself be like this. She smiled a little. Maybe, if she couldn't do right in other's eyes, she could do right somewhere else.
Maybe she could do it for herself.
--Secrets Of The Scorned--
One would think that after the many years of doing this that Nanao would be used to dragging her captain around places. In fact, in the Seireitei, Nanao taking Captain Kyouraku home would've been the normal. However, she was very aware of the fact that this was not the Seireitei, and that she was probably receiving many stares.
She hefted his arm a little higher on her shoulder as she tried to ignore her thoughts. She also tried to keep her eyes on the road before her instead of glancing at the man to her left. He was mostly out of it, but she noticed that his head was lolling slightly towards her own with every step they took.
Luckily for her, he was in the state between awake and asleep. While he wasn't going to offer up any form of intelligent conversation any time soon, it did mean that some of his motor functions were still working. She was glad for that, or else she would be getting worse looks. Soul Reaper or not, there wasn't much dignity in literally having to carry your (much taller) caption anywhere.
And so, here she was, struggling to hold her incoherent captain somewhat upright, so they could stumble down the street of her old hometown district.
She was trying to hurry, but she could only push him so fast. She knew that his mind was fast approaching the dark abyss of totally unconsciousness. She could feel it in his lagging steps and how every moment left her with supporting more of his weight. She had no intention of still being on the street when he totally gave in to his sake-induced slumber.
She wasn't sure if she was making the correct choice in where they were headed, but it wasn't as if they had much else of a choice. The bar would have closed eventually, and while Hiroshi probably wouldn't have minded a guest, she wasn't about to impose and place the burden on him. That was her job, even if she wasn't thrilled about this part of it.
She hadn't been back here in a long time. There was a stage in her life that she had thought she would never get out of this place. It humored her slightly that now she had almost forgotten about it entirely. She felt somewhat bad about that, but she couldn't do anything about what had transpired in the past.
Looking about, she was glad that most district dwellers had retired for the night. There really weren't too many people left on the streets, barring those that were just as out of it as her captain was. If that meant less questioning looks, then that was for the better anyway. She didn't think anyone would start any trouble if they recognized their rank, but in case they did, she didn't know how well she could deal with them while supporting the pink mass that was Captain Kyouraku.
He listed forward for a minute, and Nanao had to stop in order to grab onto him with her free right hand, trying to steady him. Staying still for a moment to make sure he would stay upright, she breathed a sigh of relief as he didn't list again. It was a balance game, and Nanao could only wonder how long her luck would stay with her tonight.
She brought her arm back down to even out her own balance as she turned back towards the road. She got a good look at it then, and didn't move as she realized where they were.
She remembered this part of dusty road and the pale buildings lining the sides. She saw the picture in her mind of a dusty yukata too big for the small frame it was on and pushing glasses up that repeatedly fell down. She could almost feel the hard ground she impacted at the time, and she could still see those intense blue eyes and the flames beneath them.
She had encountered many things of her past lately, and Nanao wasn't sure what to think of it. Shaking her head slightly, she pulled her captain along, noticing that it was a little harder to keep him moving now. It was a good thing they were close to their destination.
The rounded the bend in the path and saw the familiar dwelling ahead. They had deviated from the main road and were now in one of the many networks of homes woven into the streets. She knew this one all too well. As they neared, she spotted the violet cloth still hanging in the main window from the inside. She recalled days of hiding behind it, days when her keeper had encouraged her to hold on to whatever slivers of childhood she could.
Nanao sighed. It seemed like those days were so long ago, not lasting as long as they should have.
They approached the door, and she felt herself becoming slightly nervous. She couldn't remember exactly how long it had been, but she knew it was longer than she said it would be. What would she think now, coming here after all this time?
Before she could stop herself, she had knocked at the door, and she heard the light shuffle of movement from the inside. Her stomach dropped a little, and Nanao scolded herself for losing her nerve. This shouldn't be that difficult.
The latch on the door turned, and the wood groaned as it opened into the home.
It was too late to turn back now.
--Secrets Of The Scorned--
Momo sat with her eyes closed, still on the roof, just taking in the few peaceful moments that she was getting. There was nothing but the moon, the stars, and her. She wasn't thinking of anything, and she marveled in the clarity she felt in that moment. She felt free. It was in these moments, she knew, that people came to their greatest revelations.
She listened to the wind, and after a minute, she also picked up the rustling of fabric that wasn't her own. Of course, she knew he had been standing there for a few minutes himself. She had picked up on his reiatsu the moment he came within her natural radius. She just wanted to see if he would say anything.
Hearing nothing from him but feeling his eyes gazing holes into the back of her robes, she opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him. The roof tiles cracked as he shifted his weight, looking at her, as she knew he was. He wasn't wearing his captain's coat, and she could see the beginning of those worry lines developing along his brow. They usually accompanied a scowl, but she couldn't read his blank expression.
She wondered why he was here. As far as she knew, he was still angry for her opinion on the intruders. She had only tried to be honest, something she was going to do from now on for sure, and it had blown up on her. She thought that maybe if there were no lies between them, then maybe they could slowly build up what she had mistakenly burned down.
She saw how well that turned out though, and she didn't really want a repeat, especially not tonight.
She pushed that thought from her mind though. As much as it hurt to know that they would probably never have what they once had, she wasn't about to ignore him or turn him away. She couldn't, even if she knew she probably should.
She focused into attention at his sigh, and she noted that he looked tired. It wasn't just the tired caused by a night of fitful sleep, but the weariness of someone who knew too much but not enough at the same time. She understood perfectly. She was tired too.
She tried to smile as softly as she could as he shuffled forward. Even if he thought differently now, he was still her childhood friend and someone she liked very much, and she would always have time for him.
"Do you mind?" He gestured towards the empty spot beside her, speaking quietly. She shook her head, and she watched as he sunk down next to her silently before turning her head to look at the moon again.
They were silent as they sat, and Toshiro was left with time to think. It was a comfortable silence still, and for a moment he was drawn into the memories of days long past, afternoons spent just like this to watch the sunset. He had missed those times, and he wondered if she did too. Things were so hectic lately that he hadn't taken any time out to just enjoy life. He supposed that when life was in danger, everything had to be put on hold so they could fix it.
Fixing things. He sighed to himself, and it didn't catch Momo's attention. He could admit now that how he handled the situation earlier was probably not the best way to go about it. He couldn't help it though, because at one time, she would've said exactly that and meant something different. Still, he was going to attempt to clarify what he meant, or at least do something. He knew his words were a little harsh, and he didn't miss the look on her face as she left.
For some reason, leaving things like they were bothered him deeply.
In their silence, Toshiro took a minute to really look at her. There was something a little different about her, but he couldn't place what it was. She looked worn out, and he felt slightly guilty knowing that she was stressed out just as much as he was, if not more. Paperwork was due the following evening, and he knew if she didn't pass the inspection she would probably lose her rank altogether.
Despite the tattered look, there was a certain air around her. She seemed almost sure of herself, as if despite all of this, she knew exactly where she was going. Maybe she did.
Feeling his eyes on her, Momo turned to look at him. She looked somewhat content, and despite knowing better, he couldn't help but feel pleased that it was probably because he was here. That thought comforted him.
"Do you remember when you left for the academy?"
He looked away, and a puzzled expression found its way to her face. He was never one for reminiscing, even when they were in the Rukongai and memories were so nice to cling to. She wondered why he chose to do so now.
She nodded, and he continued. She wasn't sure if he saw her though, and it made her wonder what the point to all of this was.
"I was always sour, and I remember saying that I couldn't wait until you were out of my hair. " He chuckled softly. "I suppose I was just acting out because I knew I would miss you. Things were too quiet when you were away."
She just listened, fading into her memories to revisit those days. She always had an inkling that he might've missed her, but it could have just been wishful thinking. It made her feel a little better to know that it was true.
"Who were you going to go to when a thunderstorm hit? I remember how you hated them." Well, she thought, that part hadn't changed. She had just learned to comfort herself. "You were so far away that I couldn't keep my eye on you."
She was brought back to the first reason she became a Soul Reaper and inwardly frowned. Even if she had developed other reasons after she entered the academy, her strive to be part of Aizen's troupe still burned brightly in her mind. She wondered, if she could do it again, would she change anything? Perhaps she would just make the same bad choices she had.
She continued on from her thoughts, mumbling softly. "We all make mistakes I guess." Realizing she spoke, she didn't know if she was responding to her own thoughts or to his statements.
He turned back toward her, and she couldn't figure out the expression on his face. "You becoming a Soul Reaper wasn't a mistake." Toshiro sighed. "Look about earlier-"
"Don't worry about it." She cut him off, not wanting to hear an excuse for his actions. "What we say when we're angry, drunk, or sad is usually what we really want to say. At least it was the truth." By this point, she was tired of being lied to.
Toshiro blinked, momentarily losing all the words he was planning on saying. How did the situation get away from him so fast? He was usually the one in control of things, and he was a pretty fair judge of what the outcomes of a situation could be. In less that ten minutes he became just as utterly lost as he was before he got the nerve to come out here.
What she said might be true, because in part he did believe it, had believed it, but it didn't mean he was happy with how it came out.
Momo really wanted to make him see how it was more than anything. She wanted him to understand, but she couldn't change what he really believed in with just words. She wanted him to see truth, and because of that, she wasn't going to let him lie. She couldn't ever move forward if she kept letting him hold her back. If she kept trying to please him in this way, she would never move on, and he would only know the fake her. She didn't want that.
She already felt like a doll. She had let others answer for her during the meeting, knowing that it wouldn't sound the same if it came from her, even if it was the same story. She could see it in their eyes and the way they stared at her. She didn't have an opinion. All because of past mistakes. She supposed she deserved it, but how did they ever expect anything to change if all they clung to was the past?
She couldn't understand why Toshiro wouldn't just say what he wanted to and be done with it. Was he worried about hurting her feelings or something? Well, the unexpected jibes and slips of the tongue hurt her more than if he ever said it outright. Just knowing that he mulled over a false image of her, or at least one that had changed, made her uneasy. That wasn't her anymore.
"You may be right, but we also say things we don't mean when we're angry." It was so quiet, that she almost missed him speak.
He had been angry. He was still angry, but it wasn't from the reasons that she might have been thinking about. His lieutenant and his childhood friend and both been injured by an unknown group who may or may not be connected to the Soul Society's greatest enemy. He was already seeing red, and then his comment just slipped out. He didn't mean for it to sound so biting.
Momo took in the comment silently and stood up, turning her head to bite her lip. For some reason she felt like crying, and she wasn't going to do it here. She wasn't going to do it at all, if she could help it. It wasn't going to help her anyway. All the peace she had found tonight was now gone, but at the very least, she would have something different to think about before going back to sleep.
"There is no excuse for what I did," she paused as she answered, feeling as if a weight had lifted from her as the words left her. She had come to terms with what happened. "But you shouldn't lie either."
She walked forward a few steps towards the edge of the roof before he called her back. She didn't turn around when he spoke.
"I'm sorry. Either way, I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean for it to sound like that."
Toshiro grasped at whatever edge he could, feeling the whole thing just slide through his fingers. It almost felt like he was making a mess of things again. He wondered what it felt like to know someone was lying to you in order to make it easier. He frowned at the thought, thinking now that maybe it hadn't been such a good idea.
She smiled sadly, even though he couldn't see it. He was doing it again. Even if it hadn't come out the way he wanted, he still meant it, and that was what really mattered. She was going to have to do something else if she ever wanted that to change.
"Even if that's true…" She trailed off slightly to look over her shoulder at him. "It doesn't change what you believe."
He said nothing to refute it, and she clenched her eyes tightly as she walked away.
--Secrets Of The Scorned--
"Nanao, is that you?"
The person in question released a breath she didn't realize she'd held as she nodded. Even with the look of surprise on her old keeper's face, it didn't change much about the motherly figure she looked up to in her youth.
She nodded, and she couldn't help to mirror the smile that appeared on the face of the woman who took care of her for so many years.
"Miyabi." She felt strange, being in front of this woman after such a long time. For a moment, she almost felt like a child again, like time had reversed itself and turned her back to that time. Shaking the feeling off, she continued. "I'm sorry for just showing up like this but-"
"Oh, nonsense! Don't be shy, come in!" Miyabi opened the door wider, not seeming to care that it was late at night and that she hadn't kept in contact in years. Still, Nanao was glad to see that the cheer wasn't worn out of her after so long. She knew Rukongai wasn't the easiest place to make a living. She faintly wondered if she had even noticed her captain at all.
She maneuvered her way in as best as she could with her current luggage as she watched Miyabi disappear into what she remembered was the sitting room. The entrance was just a smaller hallway branching out into that room. She noticed that the place near the door was still reserved for shoes, so she slipped hers off and placed them into the same spot she always used to. It was nostalgic.
Before she could attempt to do the same with her captain, Miyabi reappeared with a smile still on her face. She must not get company that often, and Nanao couldn't help the slight guilt that pushed down on her for waiting for so long.
The woman was hardly changed, and Nanao didn't really know why she was so happy to know that. Her hair may have grown a few grey streaks here and there between the auburn, but her face and kindness was still exactly how she remembered. The slight wrinkles at the edges of her eyes were even there.
Her captain wobbled as they entered the larger room, and her old guardian reached out a hand to steady him before Nanao was able. Turning towards her she asked, "So, who's this?"
Almost as if on cue, her captain chose that moment to succumb to total unconsciousness, and to Nanao's horror, a mumbled 'Nanao-chan' came affectionately from his lips. If she wasn't so busy trying to keep him upright, she might've hit him (even if he was out of it) or even smacked her forehead.
Trust him to try to embarrass her in his sleep.
Miyabi chuckled lightly, and Nanao hoped it was from the situation and not from the red she could feel heating her cheeks against her will. She hoped that she didn't look too alarmed, but she hoped more that the older woman wouldn't draw the wrong conclusion for it. Attempting to clear things up, she answered her question.
"This is my captain. As you can see, he's not exactly at his best right now." She was a bit embarrassed for him as well, knowing that this probably wasn't making the best first impression. For some reason, she didn't really know why it mattered to her. "I really am sorry for-"
"Oh, I told you, it's okay." The older woman smiled again before looking at the pair of them. Nanao felt a little self-conscious for the first time that night. "So this is Shunsui Kyouraku."
Nanao bristled suddenly with the urge to defend the man standing (or more like leaning) next to her. She quenched the urge in the next instant, shaking off the notion once she realized who she was talking to. This was Miyabi. She didn't judge and discriminate. If she did, she certainly wouldn't have taken her in at such a young age when she was so obviously different from others.
For a second, Nanao didn't know which action surprised her more, the wanting to defend her captain, or thinking Miyabi was different than how she was.
Her captain drifted to the side again, and Nanao stumbled as she tried to catch her balance. This really wasn't working anymore. There was another laugh.
"Why don't you go put him up in a room. I'm sure you remember the way." Nanao nodded. The best thing to do in cases like this was to let him sleep it off. She'd rather have it sooner than later too, in case he decided to say something else mortifying. "In the meantime, I'll go get the tea started. Anything but green right?"
Nanao nodded, and then watched Miyabi depart to start the water boiling. It was little things like remembering she didn't like green tea that brought a smile to her face. Well, she supposed the woman become something of a surrogate mother while she was here, and Nanao suspected that Miyabi treated the situation exactly like that.
She led her charge down the next hallway, knowing it led towards the bathroom and the other bedroom besides Miyabi's. She paused once she slid the door open, a little sad to see how empty it was. It didn't seem like it was that long ago when two small girls shared this room and deemed this place a safe house.
Focusing on the task at hand, she noticed that there were still two bedrolls near the corner along the wall. As best as she could, she managed to get her captain onto one of them, removing his hat. She set it down next to him, and then, noting the lack of blankets, took off his pink haori to drape it over him. It was getting closer to winter every day, after all.
She watched him for a moment more, hovering near, to make sure he was comfortable enough to stay asleep. He made no more movement other than settling into his new position, so Nanao quietly got up and snuck out of the room, making sure to slide the door shut carefully. She didn't want them to disturb him.
She entered the sitting room moments later, seeing Miyabi setting down the kettle and two cups on a tray at the low table. Joining her on the cushion next to her, Nanao accepted a cup gratefully, hoping it would relax her.
"Thank you." Nanao hoped that she knew it was more than just for the tea.
They were quiet for a while, and even though neither of them said anything, it still felt that understanding passed between them on everything, as if this was a normal occurrence. At one time, it had been.
"It's been a long time." Nanao nodded. Even after she had entered the academy, they had still made it a point to visit the woman that cared for them when she didn't have to.
"Do you know what Rose has been up to? It's been even longer since I've heard from her." Nanao shook her head. "She always loved the flowers. I keep a vase on the table for her. The week it's lavender."
Nanao listened as the woman went on, like she usually did, but she wasn't really hearing. Her mind was elsewhere, in a time that had long passed. To be honest, she hadn't thought about Rose or this place for a very long time. She felt bad about it, but lately she had been so caught up in everything else that was going on she didn't have time for focusing on anything other than that.
As an orphan in Rukongai, she didn't have many places to go. She had met Rose on these very streets, and soon after, both of them ran into Miyabi. She took them in, and from here they learned how to be young. Soon after Nanao was taken into the Eighth and put into the academy, and she'd heard that Rose had also learned to be a soul reaper.
She faintly recalled the girl was good at kido, like herself, but sadly she didn't know what happened to her after they both graduated. She went to work in the Eighth right away, and she had just assumed that the other girl did the same. Now, she was wishing a little that she had kept in touch.
She made a mental note to look into that as soon as she had some time on her hands.
"I understand you've been busy." The older woman smiled as Nanao looked over to her, shaken out of her thoughts. "Things trickle down here and there through the vine. So what brings you out here?"
Nanao smiled back as she shared her tale of the evening, bring out a few more laughs from her old guardian. When asked about the gate closing times, she explained that it was most likely in response to the hollows in the Rukongai that kept showing up. If there wasn't as many Soul Reapers out here, maybe the hollows wouldn't be drawn here so much. A few were still stationed here in case, but at least there wasn't stronger reiatsu moving about at all hours of the night.
They talked for a little while longer before Miyabi suggested they call it a night. Nanao thanked her again, and made a promise to come back soon. She knew that she and Rose meant a lot to the woman, and she told her that she would find out about Rose and send her this way if she could.
With a goodnight, Nanao made her way back into her old bedroom. She quietly slipped inside, trying not to wake the still slumbering man. She stood by the door for a minute, not really knowing what to do with herself. She wasn't exactly tired, and even if she was, she was still mulling over all of the memories this house brought back to her.
Without knowing exactly why she did, she went to sit next to her captain. Sliding down the wall, she found herself next to his head, and she moved his hat to the other side of her as she sat. It was a strange thing, she decided, to want to be near someone without knowing why it was so. She thought that she knew who she was and what she wanted, but some things were even outside of her control.
He snored lightly and she shook her head with a slight smile. At least he was amusing.
His hair had come slightly undone, she noticed, and there were strands that fell into his face. In a notion that was totally unlike herself, she brushed it away from his eyes. She frowned as she removed her hand quickly, realizing what she was doing.
She scolded herself, telling herself that she knew better. This was the exact reason why she wanted to keep her distance. Shunsui Kyouraku was like a magnet, and she was going to fight the pull as long as she could. It was better that way anyway, if there wasn't an opportunity to get hurt from it.
Still, she couldn't help but think it would be nice to give in for a while. Maybe it was okay for the moment, since he was asleep. He would never know, therefore never giving him the chance to panic or laugh if he never meant any of the flirtatious remarks he made constantly.
He had acted slightly different lately, but Nanao chalked that up to the paperwork due date (which she noted was some time later today, if it was past midnight) looming near as well as inspections. Even if it wasn't, she wasn't sure she was ready for what that could mean.
She continued to watch him as he slept, so she noticed almost instantly when his brow furrowed and his fists clenched tightly. Was he having a nightmare? In all her years of working with him, she had never seen something like this. That was saying a lot, seeing how he slept most of the time he was in the office anyway.
On impulse again, telling herself that he was asleep so it was okay and this was her job anyway, she brushed her hand over his forehead. It had an almost immediate effect. His brow smoothed out, and his hands unwound themselves from his haori. He took in a large breath and let it out slowly, and Nanao saw the tension drain from his form.
It was strange, but the next thought she had almost made her laugh. It was funny that she found comfort in his presence during the day, and that maybe he found comfort in hers at night. It was ridiculous, perhaps, but it didn't stop her from thinking it.
She was glad to have him, however that was, even if he liked to flirt. Even if she could never really have him, this would be enough. There was just something about him. There were days when she wondered why she did this. Every action was her duty, and there was supposed to be nothing outside of that. Some days she didn't understand why she put up with all of it.
It only took one look at him to answer the question though. For him she would be a slave to the rules she lived by, would do the duty set forth for her.
She knew the answer to that, she just wasn't ready to admit it yet. Not even to herself.
--Secrets Of The Scorned--
The first thing Shunsui realized was that he wasn't in his own home or at the bar where he last remembered being.
It was very late, or maybe very early. He also had a feeling like there had been someone right next to him, that sixth type of sense that most people took for granted. He opened his eyes slowly, and it took them a moment to get used to the change in lighting.
The first thing he saw was the window across the room and the woman standing next to it. The sun was peaking over the horizon, he saw, as the light shined off Nanao's cheek when she turned to look at him. Early morning then, he decided. It was a bit stunning, seeing her like that, so he kept quiet and just watched as long as he was able. It was like she appeared from a higher place, and he imagined that her eyes were just for him.
Nanao turned fully towards him, and he sat up the rest of the way, the ethereal look disappearing. She was back to the Nanao he knew so well, although she looked slightly softer this morning, as if she'd been thinking about something personal, maybe a memory long since passed.
"How are you feeling?"
Her voice broke him out of his thoughts as he considered her question. Considering all the sake he had the previous evening (and he recalled quite a lot before he stopped recalling anything), he was feeling well. There was no headache that came with bright pointed lights like the one coming in the window, and as he sat up he didn't feel any of the usual dizziness come with it.
"Considering everything, I feel pretty good."
She nodded, and he watched as she reached under her glasses to rub at his eyes. He then noticed his hat on the ground a few feet away from him, as well as his haori draped on him. His heart soared a little as he realized that Nanao must have done so. From what he could tell, they were still in the Rukongai.
That's when he noticed the extra bedroll on the adjacent wall next to his. It wasn't touched. Her clothes weren't ruffled either, and even if she had smoothed them out as she got up they still wouldn't be that perfect. He frowned slightly.
"Have you slept at all?"
She brought her hand up to her forehead as she laughed lightly. "No, I haven't." She was sort of smiling, if he was reading that right, and he was puzzled. Furthermore he was a bit worried, knowing what kinds of personality quirks people got when they were exhausted. She had been working hard all week and only getting minimum rest. Why hadn't she rested?
"Nanao-"
"It's fine. I'm fine really." He gave her a pointed look as she cut him off, but she just waved it off. "If you're ready, we should probably get back. They'll be opening the gates soon."
He didn't push the issue further, not knowing exactly what she was like when she was tired. If it was anything like when she was annoyed, then he didn't want that to be the first reaction he got from her in the morning.
He got up, and as he stretched, Nanao fixed the roll to look like the other one. She wasn't one for leaving a mess in her wake. They departed soon after, Nanao telling him to be quiet lest they wake Miyabi. Whoever that was. He was going to ask her, but she cut off his question with a look.
Once on the streets, they took a leisurely pace towards Seireitei. As much as he wasn't a morning person, he did like the serenity of nobody being on the streets. Then again, maybe it was just being next to Nanao. Either way, he was hesitant to break the peace.
When they were a good distance from their place of rest, he deemed it safe to ask his question. She didn't hesitate to answer, but he noticed that she was speaking softer. He gained from that notion alone that this Miyabi was important to her.
"Miyabi was my primary guardian before I joined the Eighth. She didn't have to look after me, but she did, and I will be forever grateful. She was…glad to see me." She spoke it with a smile, and Shunsui asked no more questions the rest of the way.
-
They thanked the gate guard as they moved under the wall. It was just a few minutes past five when they arrived. Shunsui was glad they took their time then. A flash step or two would've made them too early. He wondered if Nanao planned that, but brushed it off.
The walk was still quiet, but now he noticed that she walked with a little more purpose. He didn't, and it caused him to trail behind a few steps. He frowned again and called out to her when he saw her make a turn on the path. She didn't live that way. She stopped and looked back at him to see him standing at the intersection of the walkway.
"Where are you going?" He was slightly puzzled once again, but he really should've expected the answer she gave.
She sighed. "The office." She really hoped he wouldn't make a big deal out of it, but if the way he was working up to say something was any indicator, then she would have to put a stop to it now. It was back to her duty again. There was no escaping it.
She held up her hand as he made to say something. "I know I haven't slept at all today, believe me. The deadline for all of the paperwork is tonight by six. If I take time to be out of the office now, it will never get done."
"But-"
"No, buts. One day. Just give me one day to get this done, and then I'll take off all the time you want me to. Within reason of course."
He sighed. When she was set on doing something, there wasn't much that could tell her otherwise. That and it was hard for him to deny her anything.
"Alright." She looked satisfied enough, and he stepped up beside her as they made their way to the office. As much as he didn't like this part of the job, there was no way he was letting her do it all by herself like this.
They worked for a little over an hour together. With him helping, he noted that the stacks had shrunk a good deal. Nanao seemed to be in an okay mood too, which was good for him. If anything, she was just quieter than usual.
He stopped to watch her for a minute, and in that time he caught site of the butterfly that entered through the open window. Nanao noticed it too, and she put our her hand for it to land and give it's message.
"Emergency meeting in the First Division. All Captains and Lieutenants must attend. There has been an information breech."
-To Be Continued
So yeah, I am going on lack of motivation and inspiration. I know where I'm going, I just take forever getting there. I feel like I'm failing somewhat. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, however. It doesn't make for a good time. Any ideas?
Meh. Not much to say. I'm just tired. And needing to do classwork that I keep putting off.