Five: Taking Action

Bella.

I was in her house again and she was grateful for me. She loved me and she was fucking grateful.

When I opened my eyes, I was on the bench – not in her house. She didn't love me, reminding myself of that was like a wound inflicted by my own hand, suicide or something else that took me farther away from her. I loved her, I said in my mind, not the other way around. She could be convinced though, I was sure. The time for keeping my distance was up; the company she kept was proof enough of that.

I dug my thumbnail into the thickly dried paint on the seatback. Emmett. I sneered at the name. He was no better than the creature I'd saved Bella from the day we met; he just wore a better disguise. He'd held her hand and she let him. I felt sympathy for her that she couldn't discern between someone that only wanted to keep her from harm and someone that wanted to cause her harm. I would help her, with me around she'd never have to worry; I could promise her that. First, I had to deal with Emmett. The clawed thing inside me coiled and released, guiding. Some other unattached part of me said that I should have been worried but I ignored it.

Bella Bella Bella. It set the beat of my footsteps as I walked away from her home. I had things to figure out. The movement helped me to think and I didn't wander far, in case she needed me. I looped the blocks around her neighborhood.

I knew virtually nothing of Emmett except that he was using Bella for whatever degrading purpose and he had at least one other woman on the side. I thought of the blonde in the sadly hopeful short skirt and then of my angel. The two held appeal in opposite ways, but regardless, Bella was not meant for him.

And then, as if my body knew what Bella was doing, I made it back to the park just as she was leaving her house. I leaned against the trunk of a nearby tree to look at her.

Her hair was down; it looked glossy in the early light and I could smell her shampoo, if only by memory. My perfect winter morning. Her cheeks were flushed and her coat covered most of her body. She glanced to the right and something inside me stirred. It was like she was looking for someone. I wanted to tell her that I was here and that she didn't have to be afraid. Instead, I stayed where I was and let her walk a short way before I took up step behind her.

It didn't occur to me until then to wonder where she was going. The day before was Saturday which meant today was Sunday and she didn't have to be at work. She was dressed for it though, in slacks and the wool coat she always wore to her office. I stuck my hands in my sweatshirt's front pocket and kept walking.

She stopped at a coffee place and went inside while I waited on the sidewalk across the street. From that vantage point I could see her in the large windows that spanned the front. She looked to the right and left and then got in line. She ordered something after a minute and then moved off to the side, pulling a cell phone out of her purse. Reflexively my fingers gripped my own. She put it back in her bag.

Like something or someone had caught her attention, Bella smiled and for a split second I didn't care why, only that she had. I imagined it was me she was smiling at.

"There you are," her eyes were bright. "I ordered for you."

I leaned down to press my lips to her cheek. "Sorry I'm late." I could feel her warmth and suddenly didn't care that we were in public.

She kissed me quickly before I could straighten up all the way. She smiled, "hi."

I grinned down at her and stepped further into her space, "hey."

It wasn't me that had captured her attention though; it was someone else – a man. He was one I hadn't seen before. I stepped off the sidewalk and into the gutter between two parked cars to get a better look. He was tall, with blonde hair; I couldn't really make out anything else. When their coffees came; she let him lead her to a table in a corner I couldn't see.

I walked across the street and before I could stop myself, I went inside. It was dangerous, but I had to see what this man wanted with Bella. I thought again about no longer keeping my distance and decided I would have to start slowly. I sat at the opposite corner and grabbed a piece of newspaper, unfolding it so I could see them over the top.

Bella gestured with her hands and right now she was saying a lot. She spoke in earnest, looking faintly frustrated. The smallest of lines creased between her eyebrows and she raised her shoulders after a while in a nonverbal I don't know to whatever that man had asked. I strained to hear, wondering if it was the man's fault that she was unhappy. After a time, she stopped talking and kind of smiled, looking down at the table. She shook her head, looking a little defeated. It hurt to see. Her hands had fallen limp onto the table; the man covered one in both of his. Mine.

My hand gripped my stomach where I felt the claws ripping from the inside out. I forced myself to sit still. There were too many hands on her, always. I felt like I was going to be sick.

He leaned closer to Bella, still gripping her hand, and was saying something that she nodded to once. He said something else and then stood up, motioning for her to follow. She did, but her movements were heavy, like she wasn't looking forward to what they were going to do. I thought he was forcing her, but when they were both standing I watched her lips form the words thank you. Her eyes flickered up to his and then down to the floor.

Outside, they got into a car parked in the street and I realized I wouldn't be able to follow them any further. It made me anxious and I walked anyway until I couldn't see them anymore. Without her anywhere I could place, I felt lost. I paced up one side of a street I didn't know the name of and back down the other side. After a while, I just walked in the direction I thought she might have gone.

There were a lot of restaurants here with outdoor spaces that no one was occupying because it was too cold. The insides were all full for lunch. My stomach growled noisily; it had been a long time since I'd eaten.

"Uh…," a throat cleared, "excuse me."

I turned toward the voice. There was a blonde woman standing in front of me, but I didn't know why. No one saw me except for when they were with Bella; I had begun to think I was invisible. The girl was staring. "What?" I asked.

"You're blocking the door," she gestured behind me to the entrance of the restaurant I'd been standing near.

"Edward?" Someone else asked.

I ran an anxious hand through my hair and wished Bella was around. I wanted to hide or run or pretend I couldn't hear. There were too many people.

I looked up to the other voice. Emmett.

If I said I'd blacked out, it wouldn't be entirely the truth. But that's what it felt like. When I looked at him, I saw the monster that attacked Bella, I saw Emmett kissing the blonde, saw that man from earlier taking my angel's hand, and other things, blurry images that faded out like smoke at the edges.

When I saw the normal world again, my hand was throbbing, but it didn't stop me from throwing all the force I had behind it. I hit Emmett for what was apparently the second time. I was yelling something, I don't know. You liar, I saw you with her. Behind me, a woman was yelling. I pushed harder, but Emmett was stronger than me. He spun my arm up behind me until I thought it was going to break; I almost prayed for the comforting finality of the snap.

"It's cool, it's cool…," he was saying to someone. He yanked on my twisted arm. "Can I let you go now?"

I nodded, feeling a little like I couldn't breathe anymore. He pulled us away from the door and pushed me down on a bench; he stood.

"What the fuck, man?" He looked more surprised than anything else.

I noticed a darkening mark on his cheekbone from the only damage I'd done. I wanted to do more, but I was exhausted. I curled my sore arm over my middle and thought about just getting up and going to Bella's like I should have done to begin with, I missed her. "I saw you with her," I nodded my head in the direction I'd seen the blonde last.

His expression was confused, "yeah, she's my…what the hell are you talking about?"

"Yesterday, you and Bella said -,"

His expression was the last piece I needed before I understood. They'd lied right to my face. Something inside broke apart.

"Listen, I don't know what's going on between you guys…," he kept talking, but I didn't hear him anymore. I got up and left and he yelled something, but I didn't listen.

I went back to Bella's. I looked in her windows to see her, but she was still gone. I let myself inside and went upstairs to her bedroom. It was like a security to me to be around this part of her life; it reminded me of who she was and that she'd never lie to me unless she was forced. She was my angel.

I sat there for a long time. So long, in fact, that I was still there when Bella returned home. I heard nothing and then suddenly, the quiet slide and click of her lock turning. It was like a shot of adrenaline straight into my heart. I jumped up; I couldn't let her see me, but I had no place to hide. There were no other rooms on that level except the bathroom. I crept toward the door to listen for her, hoping she'd move into the laundry room or somewhere else where she wouldn't see me if I slipped down the stairs. I'd go out her bedroom window if I had to, but the fall would probably break at least an ankle.

Bella was talking to someone at her threshold. Through the barely opened door, I could see her but not her companion. "Jasper," she said his name on a sigh. "I really wish you wouldn't -,"

"Bella," he admonished. I didn't like hearing him say her name that way. "I'm not leaving some rookie cop to look after you when I can do it better myself."

"I just don't want you sitting in your car all night."

He said something I couldn't make out and then added, "Peter will relieve me, it isn't all night."

"What if it's nothing?" She crossed her arms in front of her, but it looked more like she was holding herself together.

"It doesn't sound like nothing."

Neither of them said anything for a minute and all I could hear was the watery pounding of blood in my ears.

Bella reached out eventually and hugged him; they mumbled something to each other before pulling away. No.

"I'll be back once it gets dark."

She nodded. "Will you have Alice call me when she gets home?"

After he left I backed up further into her room, unsure if I would make it to the window and out by the time she got upstairs. I waited anyway and listened for the small sounds of her feet on the steps, but there was nothing. I counted what I thought were seconds passing.

Someone else was watching over her because I wasn't doing it well enough. I hadn't missed anything though; no one had ever gotten by me. I stood still next to her bed, afraid she'd hear me if I moved around, though I felt an itch to pace. Who hadn't I seen? I thought of the void I found myself in sometimes, not awake and not entirely asleep. That had to be when it happened. Some creature was trying to hurt her and I hadn't known.

I felt the clawing thing move up toward my throat, tearing pieces of me away. I wondered how many parts I could rip into if it kept going. I swallowed it back down to the pit of my stomach. More.

I went to the door and pressed my ear to it, but there was no sound. Carefully, I pulled it open, expecting to come face to face with Bella. The stairs were empty, so were the kitchen and the entryway. So I stepped out and moved slowly down to the first floor knowing full well that she could be anywhere.

Instead of moving right to the back window to leave, the sound of soft breathing stopped me. Bella was asleep, curled up on the couch. I stood behind it to watch her for just a moment, I told myself that was all I had time for. And then I had to get outside; I'd spend the rest of the day and night there. I would try harder. She would understand.

Author's Note: Hi all, thanks for reading. There's one more chapter left and then the epilogue, so we're winding down here. I've added a couple of songs to the playlist for this; thanks to the two readers that suggested them! Also, I don't usually ask, but I'm taking reading suggestions right now if you guys know of anything awesome worth looking at - fanfic and bookstore fiction. Thanks :)

Lastly, my story "Reality and Other Inconveniences" has been nominated for an Indie in two categories: AH Story That Knocks You Off Your Feet and Best Use Of A Parent. Thanks to all that nominated me! The first round of voting is open right now and there are a lot of great stories to choose from, so go vote! You can find the link in my profile.